"You believed me"

Today was a really rough day in the clinic.

I let the entire morning pass by with only one or two charts completed. It usually starts with being behind on one chart...and then it is just a cascade of ugliness thereafter.

It started with my first patient.

An African-American man in his early 60's, he stuck out like a sore thumb at our predominantly Asian clinic. He is one of my favorite patients. He is hesitant to take medications, but he is always willing to try his hardest to modify his lifestyle so that he can achieve certain health outcomes.

He was incarcerated for nearly a decade for assault with a deadly weapon. He was trying to protect his 9-year-old niece from an adult who was trying to harm her.

After his release, he moved to Seattle to work. He was injured on the job and now has chronic ankle pain caused by that accident. This injury eventually cost him the job. He has only been volunteering here and there. Nobody is willing to hire him with his past criminal record and physical limitations. He felt depressed and was having a lot of trouble with insomnia.

I started seeing him shortly after starting my position at the clinic. He is one of my longest standing patient who follows up with me regularly for a variety of chronic conditions. I connected him with our behavioral health team to discuss sleep hygiene initially, hoping that he would continue to follow up with them to explore issues of depression. He did!

He came in to see me yesterday after a few months being away. He was grinning ear to ear. He had ankle surgery in February and he is feeling so much better. All his other chronic conditions are improving, too, including his sleep troubles and depression!

Before the visit ended, I asked if he had any other questions or concerns.

He only said, trying to hold back tears, "I just want to thank you. So many people didn't believe me. But you believed me. You believed I was in real pain. And you tried everything to help me. And now I feel so much better after this surgery! Thank you!"

Some days, I just need a tangible reminder that I love what I do.

I was made to do this...and more.

Late night conversation with Camille

This was a late night conversation with Camille...just took place a couple of hours ago (yes, it's 1am).

Camille: Is God in my heart?
Me: Yes, I think so.
Camille: How come I can't see Him?
Me: He's invisible. You can't see Him but He's actually everywhere. Like the air.
Camille: And He's in my heart...I think he is the beat of my heart.

My guys

I was just looking at these pictures today and I am so thankful for these two guys in my life. I can't get over it!

LCHF Chronicles - Day 17

I Work Out

I

One of the things that has forced me to modify my diet is my sudden uptake of a weight lifting regiment. I've been going to the gym 3 times a week for the past eight and a half weeks. I do the same, simple work out every time, and I love it. It's quick, effective, and fun.

But as I mentioned in my previous post, muscle recovery was slow while I was on a ketosis diet. If my main goal were to lose weight instead of gain weight, I'd be more gung ho about strictly limiting my carbs. But, doggonit, those carbs really do make your muscles recover faster!

A Crust of Bread

At this point, I'm not sure were my diet goals are. I still desire the increased energy that a low carb diet promises so I will continue to limit my intake of sugar and simple carbohydrates. I have yet to re-introduce bread into my regular diet; but I did have my first taste of bread since I started this diet 17 days ago. I had a quarter piece of naan at dinner. It wasn't as euphoric as I thought it would be.

I Got What I Came For. Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

My rate of posting will slow down after today. I wanted to post in order to keep a record of my experiences with a low carb/high fat diet so that I could refer back to it. Given that I am now moderating back to a lower fat, higher carb diet, I don't feel the need to monitor my changes as much. I'll be sure to post when something of interest occurs.

This blog can now return to being the wonderful Camille and Marcus Show - hosted by Bao Ng :)

LCHF Chronicles - Day 16

Ack! I didn't post something yesterday. This is a make up post for day 16.

At this point, I am prepared to wind down the daily logging of what is going on with my diet. I have done the full-on keto thing for 2 weeks, and have made some conclusions. Here they are:

1. From a weight loss perspective - keto diets work. They totally work. You can feel areas of your body slimming down almost day to day.
2. I think keto diets would suit severely overweight people very well. The negatives of the diet are small in comparison to the health risks associated with obesity.
3. It's very convenient to not feel hungry very often.
4. I do not like the following about keto diets

1. Constipation
2. Limited menu items
3. Feeling of fogginess in your head
4. Muscle fatigue and soreness tend to linger after workouts (poor recovery)

Because of the above, I've decided to stay on a modified keto diet. I'll shoot for <50g 3rd="" 4th="" a="" again="" am.="" carb="" carbs="" day.="" day="" every="" far="" for="" how="" i="" keto="" ketosis="" ll="" load="" monitor="" of="" off="" or="" p="" state="" stix="" the="" then="" to="" two="" use="">

Advice to those considering a keto diet:

1. If you want to lose weight, and do not want to modify your exercise - keto is for you.
2. I would use a keto diet for 2-4 weeks at a time and reassess. It does make you feel different.
3. For severely overweight people, losing half a pound a day is not unreasonable on this diet.
4. It's hard to maintain this diet if others in your household are not on it. I found myself cooking two meals at every mealtime.

I need to remember these things: Wenis

Most delightful phrase I've been hearing around here these days:

Chin: Quit playing with my wenis, Marcus!!

LCHF Chronicles - Day 15

Another normal day. I continue to eat fruit and my ketone levels continue to be low to zero. Feeling fine; but my hunger has returned. I have more cravings for snacks than I have had the past 2 weeks.

I'm not sure that I should continue to eat so much fat given that my carb levels are on the rise.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 14

I'm completely out of ketosis.

I'm a bit sad as I type that first sentence. It took a lot of hard work, commitment, and discipline to get into ketosis. It took even more determination to stay in ketosis when I was feeling like crap. Just as I was feeling better, I re-introduced fruit into my diet to help with my muscle soreness. It seems to have done the trick, but the amount of fruit I'm eating was too high, and the fructose (carbs) have kicked me out of ketosis.

Now the question remains: do I want to reduce my carbs again and get back into ketosis? I'm not sure...

LCHF Chronicles - Day 13

Still feeling great and normal. Had energy to make it through an entire day being stay-at-home dad today. It's now 10pm and I'm still going strong.

Introduced a ton of carbs today. It's so hard to spend a day with the kids and stay on the diet. I ate:

• 2oz of ice cream (leftovers from kids cone)
• some berries
• 1/2 an apple (leftover from Camille)
• Tofu

We'll see how this affects my ketone levels.

At this point, I don't know how many different type of carbs I want to reintroduce. I feel like I can maintain the current menu very well (minus the ice cream).

Update:

Ketone levels have dipped down to just "trace" levels. Disappointing, but not surprising given how many carbs I've consumed today. Will clamp back down tomorrow and see if my body responds.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 12

Another day. Another normal day. Worked it hard in the gym and felt good.

I've been sneaking more carbs in here and there. Last two days, I've been eating higher carb fruits and veggies like tomatoes and carrots (just 1/2 a cup or so). I'll keep doing this until I notice my ketone level really drop. I enjoy the diet so much more with a bit of variety here and there.

Muscle soreness has subsided quite a bit with the re-introduction of those foods.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 11

Today was a good day. Everything feels normal again. I even took a big, soft poop! Let's hope this continues.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 10

Morning 'til 4 pm

Today has been the most normal day I've had since starting this diet. Woke up with decent energy levels. This is despite a good workout late last night. Had energy throughout the work day. Even made it through a company softball game with sustained energy.

Weirdness:

• Stomach feels more normal today, but still a bit of that "solid" feeling
• Muscles tend to retain soreness after physical activity; but not as fatigued as before
• Poop is still hard
• Less brain fog today

Today gives me hope that I can continue this diet. 

The only question is: do I want to continue this diet?

I've read a lot of blogs and forums that say the adaptation period for keto diets is the worst, but that all the benefits will come flooding in after adaptation: energy, increased stamina, boosted immunity, you'll never feel hungry again, your in-laws will respect you... Y'know. All that good stuff. It gives me hope to hold out for just ONE... MORE... DAY. 

It's easy to view people that promote this diet as snake oil salesman. "Take it for one more week. The benefits are just around the corner. And if not this week, then definitely next week... or the week after that." Just keep playing this slot machine, Chin. It's gotta pay out soon, right?

Choose My Destiny:

If you're reading this and would like to see what happens if I continue, give me a shout out. It will be motivation for me to keep going.

If you're reading this, and out of love for me and my health, want me to stop, let me know that too. :)

Chin's life is in your hands!

Ok. Not really.

I'm outta bacon. Time to buy more.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 9

Only had 5.5 hours of sleep last night. That's not enough.

Feeling good throughout the day. Good energy (considering the sleep thing). Mind is fairly sharp. Fogginess is still there.

Eating a lot more vegetables. Still not eating breakfast because I am not hungry in the morning, and I am sick of eggs and bacon. Hunger sensation still not strong, but I am getting hungry more often. I eat smaller meals because I don't desire a lot of food - especially the same foods over and over again.

Considering adding some carbs back into the daily diet, or doing a Cyclical Ketosis Diet (CKD) where 2 days a week are used to refill glycogen levels. This makes sense to me since I felt great the first 2 days of the keto diet, but have been experiencing negative symptoms since day 3.

Evening workout was good and bad. Good - I was able to go through regular routine. Bad - My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest after each set. Seriously, I'm going to have a heart attack on this high saturated fat diet.

Ketone levels are still high. When is this high energy, clarity of mind thing suppose to kick in again? I'm waiting...

LCHF Chronicles - Day 8

If I Have to Eat Another...

Bacon, avacado, almonds, eggs, pork chops. These are all things I love to eat; but these last few days have drilled home the old adage that 'too much of a good thing is not good.' I'm just really sick of the limited food choices on this diet. So much so that I've resorted to only eating when I'm very, very hungry (which is not very often on a keto diet). 

Notes:

1. Still have fogginess in head
2. Energy levels throughout the morning and day are still good
3. No stamina. I get winded easily.
4. I crave sleep after about 9pm (I consider this a good thing)
5. I've been waking up earlier. As early as 6:45 some days. The diet definitely gives me energy and alertness in the morning.
6. My  muscles are strong for short bursts; but sustained usage leaves me tired and sore. Muscle recovery seems to be slow.
7. I can't tell for certain, but I think I am moodier on this diet. I had hoped this diet would help level-off my emotions.
8. My body is definitely trimming down. Not good for somebody like me who is trying to gain mass.
9. Ketone strips are still showing moderate to high levels of excess ketones in my urine.
10. I'm still constipated most of the time.
11. I miss different types of food.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 7

5/12/2014 is Day 7

Feeling good this morning, but the high fat diet is starting to get boring. I miss my food variety. I do feel my thoughts wandering a bit. I'm not sure if this is the diet or what.

I have an evening of weight lifting planned for tonight. We'll see how my body reacts during the workout and after. If I feel weak, or if recovery is poor again, I'll have to seriously consider weening off the diet.

Evening

Workout went great. I was able to lift as heavy as I wanted and I had enough energy to sustain me through the workout.

Things I have noticed:

1. When not in rest, my heart beats faster and harder than before the diet.
2. I have a constant "fog" in my head. It's not that I can't think clearly, but it just always feels like I am on a low dose of allergy medication. A little drowsy, and an ever so slight bit of headache. Nothing drastic, but bothersome. I've read that this goes away as the body adapts to ketosis after 2-8 weeks.
3. I have absolutely no stamina. Walking up stairs makes me winded.
4. I am absolutely sick of how restrictive this diet is.

Second Thoughts

I began this diet for two main reasons: to get more energy, and to optimize my workouts. So far, it has done neither. I had great energy gains the first 2 days, but as the diet goes on, my energy levels are dropping. The clarity of mind is also going away.

I want to stick it out a couple more days to see if things improve. 

LCHF Chronicles - Day 6

Weight Goals... met already?

I had an opportunity to weigh myself the other day and noticed that I was sitting at the exact weight I had hoped to hit. I thought I was 10 lbs lighter and wanted to gain that weight over the next several weeks. Like I've said, this was never about weight, so it doesn't affect my broader goals of gaining strength and raising my daily, sustained, energy levels.

So how are those goals going?

More of the same really. I had that crash yesterday that scared the crap outta me, but I seem to have stabilized.

Overall, a pretty normal day.

I've been testing whether I am in sustained ketosis using ketone strips, and I have been holding steady at moderate to high levels of excess ketones. Let just see what happens as I maintain that state.

Must add that I am very sleepy lately. Taking big naps, and dropping like a rock at night. When I'm up, I do have energy though.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 5

Something's not right

Today was a bad day.

I woke up at 7:20 feeling fine. My body is sore from yesterday's workout; but I feel ok otherwise. I don't feel hungry at all, so I don't eat breakfast. This is despite a very light dinner the night before.

Just before noon, all hell breaks loose. All my muscles go into severe fatigue, my mind is losing focus, my body starts to shiver. I think my body is shutting down from lack of carbs, fat, whatever. I eat a big bowl of fatty pork, shrimp, and pork broth (thanks Ma!). The shivers start to slowly go away. Finally, I need to lay down. I fall asleep and nap for almost 2 hours.

Later that day

Felt slightly better after the nap. I'm still tired; but the shivers have gone away. I feel better and better as the day goes on. My best guess is that I just didn't eat enough fat.

I drink half a carton of heavy whipping cream, eat some slices of cheese, and about 20 slices of salami in the afternoon. I'm still very sluggish, but I managed to go with the kids to the museum. By the evening, I am feeling 100% with energy again.

Mother's Day

Today is also Mother's Day. Did you know that Mother's Day is also Wive's Day? Yes, it is!

I went out with Bao for dinner in hip and swanky Portland, OR. I let loose with the Keto diet a bit tonight. I had a salad with onions, cherry tomatoes, and fish sauce that was likely sweetened with sugar. It was absolute bliss after 4 1/2 days of strict keto. We didn't stop there. We visited a dessert bar called Pix after dinner. I ordered a cup of "hot chocolate" which I checked to ensure it had a high cocoa mix (over 70% is best for keto). I usually don't like dark chocolate, but since I've been on keto, everything that wasn't sweet enough before is now perfectly sweet.

I checked my ketone levels that evening with keto sticks. I had dropped two shades of color, but I am still slightly above trace levels of ketones. I'll check again in the morning.

Went to bed tired, but feeling happy and fine.

Workouts

My body is not recovering from gym workouts as well as before keto. I've been doing the same routine, 3 days a week for over 6 weeks before keto. I am very familiar with how my body reacts after a workout. After 3 days of keto, I go to the gym for the same routine. My body tires much quicker in the gym. After workout, my body stays tired. The next days, my muscles are much more sore than usual and I am fatigued for most of the day. I'll have to read more into this.

My goal of keto is to have MORE energy for workouts, not less. I don't care about weight loss. In fact, I want to gain 10 lbs. If keto works against my workout, I'll have to reconsider this whole thing.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 4

7:30am:

Woke up at 7:30 like a rocket taking off today. Tons of energy and completely alert. I slept at 12:10am last night.

Ate 4 strips of bacon and 2 eggs cooked in butter. Drank 3 gulps of whipping cream and about 10 blueberries at 8am. I suspect I won't be hungry again until about 2, but we'll see.

I took two keytone tests last night. Both came back moderate/high. I am in ketosis, baby!

I still feel like a fat piece of lard when I eat these meals. I hope my perception changes quickly, because it's hard to continue to eat tons of things that I have always seen as "unhealthy."

Still not getting many bowel movements. Took a "hard" #2 his morning. Wish it was more, but I'll take what I can get. I am just waiting for the big one to flush me out. Maybe it won't be coming. I'm consuming much fewer calories than before. Maybe these infrequent #2's are the new normal? I hope not, I can't take all that pushing.

1:00pm:

I'm hungry! My stomach is growling and everything! It's not ravenous hungry, but I feel my body craving calories. I feel that I could put off eating for a couple more hours because the hunger is very subtle.

Body feeling good.

Evening:

Feeling very tired by evening. Incredibly sleepy and a headache setting in. Don't know if it's ketosis or something else. Had to drive 3 hours tonight. Light dinner. I fear I didn't eat enough calories or fat today. Is my body not getting enough energy?

Went to sleep exhausted.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 3

Woke up early feeling good. Marcus was up at 7:30, so I was up as well. No hunger at all. Energy levels good. Stomach still feels "solid." I can't say the solid feeling bothers me anymore, but it is a strange feeling compared to how I felt before this diet.

Prepared 4 strips of bacon and 2 eggs for breakfast, but I didn't eat it because I really just wasn't hungry. I took it to work with me, and ate it around 9:30. Still not hungry, but I didn't want a plate of food sitting next to me all morning.

Still constipated. Is this just the new normal?

I feel like I'm getting fatter. My mid-section feels softer and bigger. Very jiggly. If this diet doesn't work, I'm pretty screwed with all the saturated fat I've been downing.

Want to know the weirdest thing about this diet so far? Because I'm not hungry, I don't have anticipation for my next meal. It's surprising how much of my day is centered around the eager anticipation for my next meal. I've always loved food, but now I don't have the hunger for it. It's weird. What else am I supposed to look forward to all day?

Got a couple pimples since I started this diet. Is it because of the massive amounts of fat I'm eating?

At pm, I am still not hungry. I had 15 almonds at 1:30 because I felt weird not eating anything. It's weird. My body doesn't miss the hunger (i.e. I have no urges to eat); but as a creature of habit, I miss the process of going to pursue food.

Still feeling high energy and focused.

By evening, the strange, "solid" feeling started to subside. I've also noticed that I don't get sluggish in the evening; but when it's time for bed (~11:30pm), I am terribly sleepy.

Still constipated.

LCHF Chronicles - Day 2

Surprisingly, I woke up today and felt a lot less bloated and heavy. I'm still constipated though.

Ate 2 scrambled eggs cooked in butter, and 4 slices of bacon for breakfast. I didn't feel hungry all day. I finally ate at 2 pm because I was concerned that I hadn't eaten in so long. Just a small salad and two pieces of braised pork. I ate a tiny bit of quinoa and some sliced red/green pepper. I didn't realize that those are NOT low-carb foods. The pork was also a bit sweet, so I'm guessing that's sugar. It's a bit hard to stick to the diet when eating out.

I finally went #2 at 1:30pm. It wasn't a very big load, but very firm. I feel better, but I still have that "solid" feeling.

Came home at 6pm and ate 4 slices of pork loin and a cup of broccoli. Wasn't super satisfying, but I felt full. I should note that I did feel a little bit hungry before this meal. The first time I remember feeling hungry in 2 days.

Hunger - I've missed you

Started feeling strange in the evening around 7pm. Swimmy head, stomach still feels solid (in a bad way), very low energy levels. Kids driving me nuts since I have low energy. I'm starting to think that this diet was a very bad idea. "Oh crap. How do I get off this diet without completely f'ing myself over?" I'm also feeling very sleepy.

I push through. The kids are down thanks to my amazing wife. I kick myself in the nuts and drag my ass into the gym. Great workout. Very low weights, but disciplined session. I'm feeling REALLY weak at this point.

Went to grocery store and bought the following:

1. Organic heavy whipping cream
2. Full fat greek yogurt spread
3. 2 blocks of cream cheese
4. Smoked almonds
5. Natural peanut butter
6. Organic eggs
7. Full fat sour cream

Went home, drank two big gulps of the whipping cream. Mixed 1/2 an avocado with 1/2 a cup of sour cream. Ate it straight up. Ate about 10 almonds, and...

I INSTANTLY FELT BETTER!

Still no poop by the end of the night. Still sleeping as hell. Pass out around 1am.

I need to note that I was peeing more than usual. I usually drink a lot of water throughout the day, so my peeing habits didn't change during the day. However, I started peeing a lot more at night. I woke up 2x at night to pee. I never woke up to pee before.

LCHF Chronicles - Background and Day 1

I officially started the LCHF diet on May 6th, 2014. For six weeks leading up to that date, I had been on a reduced carb diet. I still ate rice, potatoes, some sweets, and lots of fruits and juices. I also started going to the gym to lift weights 3 times a week. Nothing serious. Just a quick 30-45 minute workout. Not too high intensity. All compound lifts. Very, very little cardio (some treadmill work the first couple weeks).

During those six weeks, I had very rapid transformation. Again, nothing major in terms of fat loss since I was already skinny. My goals were to trim down the "soft" spots, gain muscle, and boost energy levels. I can say that I made progress towards all three of those goals.

After initial progress, I started looking into refining my diet to get more optimized results. That's when I ran across LCHF info, and the rest is history.

Ok, so Day 1:

• Ate tofu and lamb for lunch. I later discovered that tofu is NOT good for LCHF.
• Ate pork chops and lettuce.
• I didn't feel bloated or heavy; but my stomach felt very "solid."
• I was constipated all day and night.
• Energy levels ok. Not much change really.
• Drank water and tea all day. No sugar.
• Had one strawberry.

I don't really feel hungry. I ate lunch at 1, and didn't eat dinner until 10. I estimate my dinner was less than 400 calories. I just don't feel hungry.

I actually feel a little fatter than I did the previous 6 weeks, when I was just on the reduced carb meals. This is just a feeling. I didn't measure or weigh myself. By the time I went to bed, I think the constipation was getting to me. I felt really bloated and backed up.

Also, I had random farts throughout the day. Nothing major, but enough to notice.

LCHF Chronicles - Intro

Hey Ng Blog readers. It's been a long time. I hope you've been enjoying Bao's posts as much as I have these past couple years.

I want take a break from writing about Camille and Marcus and write about a new, health experiment I'm trying out. It's called the Low Carb, High Fat diet (LCHF). Most people are familiar with the Atkins diet - where carbs are avoided. In LCHF, carbs are avoided and natural, high fat foods are pursued. That's right! Natural, high fat foods are not just allowed, the are PURSUED. Those who have adopted this diet have reported more energy, better focus, better sleep, higher immunity to illness, and - for those who were overweight - weight loss. You basically become an X-man (X-person?) if you stick to this diet.

What does this mean for me? This means that I will be eating a diet centered around bacon, eggs, and all sorts of other crazy crap that the USDA recommends we consume only in moderation.

So why am I doing this?

I love lists, so here's a list of my motivations and goals:

1. With two small children, I'm always tired. I want more energy.
2. I've done a lot of reading online about this. I've had conversations with co-workers about this. I'm curious to see whether carbs (and especially wheat) are as "poisonous" as some make them out to be.
3. If the claims some of these doctors make are true, I want to switch my whole family over to this diet. I don't need big agro companies profiting from and exploiting us, and then driving us to big pharma companies as we get sick from their shitty food.
4. Volleyball season is always just around the corner.
5. I just watched a Ryan Reynolds movie and noticed that my stomach doesn't look like his.

   

   There you go, ladies.

6. When I go out with my wife, I want her to think "I'm with HIM."
7. I think it'll be fun to eat full-fat things all the time.
8. I'm just curious and bored. This gives me something to focus my daily attention on.

What are the parameters around this experiment?

Again, lists are awesome. So...

• Avoid carbs. This includes:
• Sugar (nearly all forms)
• Bread
• Juice
• Cereals
• Pasta
• Margarine
• Rice *cry*
• Wholegrain stuff
• Limit:
• Fruit
• Root vegetables (sweet potato-like veggies)
• Alcohol
• Milk that is not full cream (this include whole milk)
• Pursue fatty and high fiber/low-carb foods like:

• Meat - as fatty as I want
• Fish and shellfish
• Eggs - yolk and white
• High fat oils - butter, coconut, olive, canola (though want to stay away from modified soy beans), full cream
• High fat dairy - butter (again), cream (40% fat), sour cream, Greek/Turkish yogurt and high-fat cheeses
• Nuts
• Berries
• Drinks:
• Water
• Coffee
• Tea
• Food volume:
• I can eat as much as I want of any of the allowed foods. That's it.
• Not sure about times of day. Can I eat foods right before bed?

Why blog about this?

I decided to blog about this in order to keep a good record of what I'm doing, and what effects it has on my daily life. If I don't put everything down in writing, it's easy to miss or dismiss all the changes, or lack of changes, I'm seeing. If I don't blog about it, I will likely stop chronicling my experience. It's all about accountability and creating a log to look back on.

Here is what I promise you - the follower of this diet/blog adventure:

1. I'll write daily - whether it's volumes of prose or a quick sentence.
2. I'll touch on how my diet is evolving
3. I'll touch on changes to my regular, physical activity
4. I'll give notes on how I'm feeling
5. I'll give notes on quirky things I notice regarding the effects of this diet
6. I'll be honest and transparent.
7. I'll try to be as non-biased as possible. Yes, I want this diet to work; but I don't want to fool myself either. If this diet makes me feel like crap, my energy levels are low, my waist grows, and my breath starts to stink more; I'll let you know.
8. I don't know that I'll do weigh-ins, or waist measurements, or anything like that because I honestly don't care about those things. My waist is already 31", my weight is 10 lbs LESS than what I'd like it to be. This isn't about losing weight, or looking good. (My wife already thinks I'm hot. ;)) It's about optimizing my body.
9. I'll do my best to answer any questions you have.
10. Ok, I lied. It's a little bit about looking good.

Final Thoughts

So that's it. I think this is going to be fun. For those that will follow along, I hope this is interesting and fun for you too. 

Wish me luck!

Chin

Moving: Do it like a pro

Here we are again. Another address change. Definitely not the last (unless Jesus comes back soon...which would be aaaaaaawesome!).

I'm writing down these notes for my future self as much as I'm imparting tips to any of you who might find them useful.

General moving tips

• Before the move, make a pact with your partner that you will remain friends. Make a tremendous effort to protect your relationship. It is a stressful time. Don't forget to cultivate your relationship throughout this period. Hug a lot.
• Ensure that the place you are moving into is clean before moving day. Make sure cabinets have all been wiped down, the fridge has no funk, carpet as been cleaned, and things are generally in good order before moving things in.
• When disassembling furniture, beds, lamps, etc., put the hardware in a plastic bag along with any written assembly tips and tape it to the item itself.
• Designate a box (or preferably a clear bin) called "Essential Items" that should be accessible throughout moving day. Include the following:
• Snacks 
• Pen/marker 
• Packing tape 
• Scissors 
• Tape measurer 
• Basic tools 
• Flashlight 
• Toilet paper 
• Paper towels 
• Cleaning supplies (including bleach wipes) 
• Dishes & utensils (disposables) 
• Garbage bags + plastic grocery bags 
• Ziplock bags 
• Hand soap 
• Dish soap + sponge 
• Towels + hand towels 
• Toiletries 
• Shower curtain 
• Bedding 
• Electronics + their chargers
• Don't hate on those who never help you move even though you've helped move their asses a ton of times. (That's us. Sorry.)

Where to find boxes

• Craigslist free listings - Look for bubble wrap and packing paper, too.
• Liquor stores - Since these are rare nowadays, look for places like BevMo!
• Grocery stores - Most of the time, the people to ask are the folks in the produce section. Most other boxes are broken down and crushed immediately to save space. But sometimes you can catch some produce peeps with fruit boxes (which are nice because they are sturdy and have handles).
• Parents of babies in diapers - Those bulk diaper boxes typically come with dandles and they are great for moving.
• Printer paper boxes are also nice and sturdy.
• UHaul also has this take-a-box/leave-a-box program where people dump off their used boxes and you can pick them up. Sweet!

Packing

• Get way more boxes than you think you need. Get a variety of sizes.
• Make awesome moving labels. Spend way more time perfecting them than actually packing.
• Also, do spend an exorbitant amount of time compiling the perfect "Packing Mix" playlist on Grooveshark. While you compile this playlist, also blog about it.
• Pack plates vertically for maximum protection. And, of course, cushion each piece with packing paper or bubble wrap.
• Don't pack away sheets and blankets just yet. For the linen pieces that are easily washable, leave them out so they can be used to cushion your furniture, TV, etc. on moving day.

Change of address

Change your address here:

• The post office
• Work/school
• For those in this region: Puget Sound Energy
• Church directory
• Car insurance
• Department of licensing/DMV
• The bank
• Credit cards
• Gym (what's that?)
• Places where you owe money

We're really tired. But we're very grateful to be back in Seattle again! I feel alive to be in the city and to be closer to the ocean.

Seriously, though, the next move will be our last move. Ugh.

After Pomp & Circumstance...now what?

I started writing this blog post a couple of weeks ago... It remains empty.

I have signed on with a couple of jobs and I am ecstatically terrified.

That's what.

Crafting with Camille

We traced the hands of everyone in our family and made an autumn wreath around the clock.

"We did it! I want to show BaBa. It will make him sooooo happy!"

It's that time. Time to craft it up.

I love crafting with my girl.

I need to remember these things: Dog food

There are funny and endearing things that our kids do everyday. I keep telling myself that I'd write them down.

But I'm lazy.

Well, here's one:

At Camille's preschool open house, she was given a small bag of Lucky Charms cereal.

She squealed with delight, "Yay! ...What is it? Oh! It's dog food!!"

I feel like I've done something right.

21st grade...here I come!!

A new season

There are plenty of biblical references to living our lives in seasons. I am starting to discover, acknowledge, and embrace these seasons. Particularly, I am learning to live in the current season.

It was completely pissing me off a few weeks ago that people were already talking about pumpkin-spiced crap while it was still summer (yes, I have an anger issue...and I'm totally not dealing with it).

But now that it is the cold season, here are things I'm going to be looking forward to:

• Hot pot - yessssss!!
• Pretty leaves
• Costume parties
• Candy overload from Halloween
• Wearing the 1,200 turtleneck sweaters I own
• Baking
• Chai tea
• Crock pot cooking
• Making cháo/粥 (congee)
• Christmas music
• Candles
• Winter gourds
• Wearing tights
• Chicken noodle soup
• Digging for razor clams...with our kids
• New TV season!

What are you looking forward to this season?

Clam digging 2008

Deck

So, I didn't blog yesterday. But I was sick.

And I am going to be lazy today, too.

Here are some pictures of our kids playing on the back deck:

I keep forgetting that we could use the back porch as our extra play room.
But it's a fantastic play space!!

Camille probably complaining about Marcus taking over
her stuff and messing it all up. This happens a lot.

A few seconds after this picture was taken, Marcus ate some of the
homemade play dough in that jar. He was not a big fan.

"Here Mommy, I baked you a bear cookie. Enjoy!"
(The "oven" is the area underneath the table.)

"Hiiiiiiii!"

Throwback Thursday

January 11, 2012. She was almost 17 months old.

(Dip dip from Bao Ng on Vimeo)

*sigh*

We baked cookies

I baked chocolate chip cookies with both my kids for the first time today.

"Are they done yet? Are they done yet? Are they done yet?"

Notice the tear-of-anticipation
(his first chocolate chip cookie, the lucky little boy)

"*Mmmmm* Can I get two cookies?"

It was frustrating at times. But now that I'm reflecting on it at the end of the day, *ah* that was fun.

Parenting...is hard

Ain't that the truth.

As a friend has reflected, "Have to say, I sometimes want to go back in time and smack my pre-parent self for being judgy."

I just feel that no matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it wrong...and I'm also doing it awesomely. There is intense cognitive dissonance between my beliefs about parenting and the extreme spurts of anger I often feel when, well, I'm tired of being a grown up.

Anyway, there are so many articles these days about parenting. How it's hard. How people are judgy. But it's okay, dang it! So don't be too hard on yourself. In response to these articles, I'd like to say, "B*tch please!" I've been lazy-parenting since I developed ovaries.

I am, however, constantly thinking about how my actions (or behavior, rather) affect the kids. I am yelling a lot these days. And I'm nearly convinced that I may have borderline personality disorder. One moment I'm so deeply thankful for my kids, and the next I want to strangle them (not literally, never, ever; please don't call CPS). I'm grateful that there is grace in all of this mess. Consider: God is the perfect parent, but how screwed up am I?! Rather than striving for perfection in this parenting thing, I really should be praying more. I really should be trusting more.

Also, I'd just appreciate some more sleep. And to poop in peace.

So, yes, I was on my phone while pooping

Woohoo! That's two blog posts on two consecutive days! This is part of something new that I'm trying: blogging for 5 minutes each day. Partly to emote. Partly because I'm procrastinating (senioritis, you know).

Blink

I blinked.

And my baby is now a toddler...

 ...and my toddler, a preschooler.

Taking it all in.

That was easy

Marcus fell asleep quickly and peacefully tonight. I thought, "Boy, that was easy."

And then I realized it's also 12:09am and most children are waking up in 6 hours. 

Yeah... Okay.

But see how cute they are?!

Why I'm much happier these days

Well, actually, maybe the title should read, "How I'm learning to be happier."

This is a list. But it's not numbered. And it's not in any order. That's kind of one of my newfound keys to happiness.

When my kids are awake, I choose to be 100% there for them (although this doesn't always work out perfectly). Consequently, I don't get a lot of homework done.

When I get tired, I go to sleep. Consequently, I don't get a lot of homework done.

I don't really care about homework...that much.

I am reminding myself to drink more water.

The sun is out more often than it is behind the clouds.

I'm reminded that God loves me deeply.

Whenever I ask my patients, "What are you doing to take care of yourself?" (and I often do) I ask myself the same question.

Chin & I are in counseling together. We've gone twice. It has been good.

I'm more intentional about cultivating my friendship with Chin. I'm seeing the importance of going to bed together consistently. Don't laugh. It's not that easy.

Sometimes I clean the house even before Chin tells me to. A clean house makes me sublimely happy. That Chin Ng, he's really onto something!

Whenever I can, I take a shower.

I'm also bathing my children more often. Turns out once a week was a bit too infrequent. And bath time brings them so much joy.

I involve my kids in all the little things that I do. Like washing the dishes or cooking with Camille. Marcus just kinda watches us. That's okay.

I deleted some friends and don't read everything on my Facebook feed. Haha! No, no, I still do. I read everything.

We are trying to protect our margins. An event-free weekend can still turn out to be full of fun.

I buy low-effort meals from Trader Joe's and Costco.

I'm volunteering more.

Watching old episodes of Arrested Development with Chin.

I am trying to multitask less.

Exercise. Hehe, nope!

I'm okay that we still have Christmas decorations up in the living room.

Chin. I like him a lot.

I'm trying my best to return library material on time.

We're going on a cruise in less than 2 weeks.

We like Trader Joe's

It's always been kind of a struggle for me to prepare meals on a regular basis.

Probably because I'm lazy.

We've been going to Trader Joe's* for years. But for some reason, it has recently grown into my favorite place to shop!

If you look closely, she is eating a lollipop
while pushing a cartful of groceries.
Skills.

Here's a review of some of the things we've recently tried:

Produce
Organic bananas - At 29 cents a piece (or 19 cents for regular), they're a bit more expensive than some other stores when they're on sale. But in a pinch, they work just great.

That's about it for produce. We don't typically buy produce here when places like MacPherson's and Pacific exist!

Freezer section
Asparagus Risotto (pictured) - Looked a little disappointing at first, but it's actually not half bad for an instant side dish.

Orange Chicken - You know, it's just as good as Panda Express's!

Mushroom Turnovers - Are very good...although they're a bit expensive.

Raspberry Tart - We've never purchased this but had some when we were at some friends' house for dinner. So delicious!

Frozen Pineapple Bits - Okay, I don't know what the official name is...but the Camille loves these!

Organic Silver Dollar Pancakes - A new discovery that is loved by both our kids. They don't just like them. They loooove these little pancakes. In under 1 minute, they can be ready for consumption!

Refrigerator section
Full Fat Yogurt (pictured) - These were purchased for Camille. But I eat them. They are delicious. I'm a little afraid to read the nutritional information.

Carne Asada - A recent discovery. Chin is convinced they use some illegal substance to tenderize the meat. It is super tender and just perfectly marinated. Too busy to chop and stir fry up some peppers for your carne asada? Get the pre-made stuff from the freezer section!

Staples

Harvest Grains Blend - A perfect blend of Israeli style couscous, orzo, baby garbanzo beans and red quinoa! Chin isn't a huge fan of this blend because the baby garbanzos don't soften at the same rate as the other ingredients, leaving a crunch taste. I would agree with this. When we have time, I like to cook it longer than the package indicates so that everything is just the right softness.

Organic Polenta - In our pantry right now. Great with stews! We often fry, but you certainly don't have to.

A variety of pastas - I think our favorite has got to be the Organic Vegetable Radiatore. Camille loves this colorful mix! Their pastas used to be the cheapest. I don't think they're all that cheap anymore. But the prices are fair and for some reason, I just feel better eating stuff from TJ's.

Cocoa Almond Spread (pictured) - Yeah, it's a staple. And I think I might like it better than Nutella (it has slightly more calories per serving than Nutella, but there's 1/2 the amount of saturate fat). Not surprisingly, there are quite a few sites that have compared the two products: here, here, and here.

Banana Nut Crunch Cereal - I love this stuff!! It's a little spendy...but as Chin would say, "If you are going to eat it, buying grocery is always the right choice." He is so smart.

Joe's O's - They're fake-o Cheerios. But again, just for some reason, it feels better that it's from Trader Joe's.

Snacks
Simply Almonds, Cashews & [Dark] Chocolate Trail Mix - These are just all my favorite things in a trail mix. How'd they know?!

Multiseed Crackers with Soy Sauce - Crispy tasty snacks that are sure to be gone within 2-3 days around here. Chin & Camille are especially big fans of these.

There are too many snacks to list. Too many!

Other stuff
21 Seasoning Salute - Introduced to us not long ago by our friend Shelli (who puts it on everything), I have seriously become one of the biggest fans of this seasoning mix! A buck ninety-nine. *Kapow* My mind has been blown! I think I bring up this seasoning mix at least once a week with my patients who are struggling with diet control and are looking for salt alternatives. I love it.

Greeting cards - Okay, so I've never gotten these. But I think for the price of $0.99, they are a steal!!

And here are some more reasons that we love Trader Joe's:

• There's always something to sample. If I pick up two samples, that's like one meal for Camille. I often take her here for meals.
• They give out lollipops at the sample counter.
• They also have free coffee.
• They give out stickers at the checkout counter.
• At most TJ's, you can ring a bell to indicate that the service has been excellent.
• They have little shopping carts for kids (see picture above).
• The employees just all seem so happy to be there. Chin is convinced that marijuana is part of their employee benefits and they all toke out in the back.

While they don't have sales, clearance sections, or coupons, Trader Joe's is consistently a place that sells fairly-priced foods & goods. And I find that when we buy stuff from here, they get eaten!

There really wasn't a purpose to this post. I was just feeling a bit frustrated tonight and needed to write something completely different and mundane. But perhaps this post gave you some ideas about foods to try for your picky eaters? Or prompted you to go and buy yourself some good food to curtail your habits of going out to eat? Eh? Eh?

*I have not been paid by Trader Joe's to write any of this. But, TJ, if you guys want to pay me, that'd be totally awesome. Thanks.

First day of preschool

Camille's first day of "Friends School."

Bath time

For the past few weeks, Camille kept saying it was "owee" to go pee. She also said she had lower back pain. "It hurts in my BONE!" Okay, maybe I talk about work around her more often than I should.

I finally took her in to see the doctor last week when she refused to go to the bathroom for 5 or 6 hours.

It wasn't a UTI, thankfully. But it was vaginitis. Turns out we're not wiping her well enough...and we're not bathing her frequently enough. (Really? Once or twice a week is not often enough for ya?) How embarrassing. 

So we've been bathing her nearly every night for the past week. And bath times have just been a joy. She loves it (always has...as long as we don't pour water on her head). And it sort of curbs any meltdowns she has saved up for the end of the day.

Bath time tonight...

Camille: A doctor can take care of you.
Me: Who's a doctor?
Camille: Me! Camille! Doctor Camille!
Me: Oh, Dr.Camille, I have a fever. What can you do for me?
Camille: I pray. I'll take care of you, Mommy. I'll take care of you.
Me: Camille, will you take care of me when I'm old?
Camille: Mommy, *quiet chuckle* you're old nooooow.

I hate to say it, but she is extra hilarious when she doesn't nap. 

Xmas countdown: Day 12

Christmas is finally here!!

And here is my fave:

Feliz Navidad

I tried...but couldn't find a version that is performed by a Vietnamese church. Because we all know that is the best freakin' version of this song there is out there.

Phè lít na ví đà everyone!!