Sleep is for the weak: Stop blogging and go to sleep already!

We started sleep-training Camille exactly a month ago today.  So far, we feel like it has been a very good decision.  We're all getting better rest!  So, this blog post marks a temporary halt to the "Sleep is for the Weak" series...while we catch up on sleep :)

What does life look like in our family right now?  A typical weekday looks something like this (if you're a parent, you're probably already scoffing at the word "typical"):

1:00am - Chin & I go to sleep (okay, sometimes later...because we are fools).

8:30am - Camille wakes up and plays in her crib.  Chin goes to pick her up and brings her over to our bedroom for "Family Snuggle Time."  Camille loves it and is all smiles.

Family Snuggle Time this morning

8:32am - Camille gets over the novelty of snuggle time and wants to nurse.  I nurse her in bed.  Although, she likes to take breaks and looks to make sure Chin is still there.

9:00am - Either Chin or I change Camille's diaper, Chin goes off to work, Camille is less distracted, and we finish off morning nursing.  After that, we play together.  Which means she's in her jumperoo and I'm next to her...on Facebook.

10:00am - I'm starting to get hungry and get up to make something to eat.  I find that there is nothing good to eat in the fridge.

10:15am - I'm still trying to figure out what to eat.

10:30am - I whip up something, usually pretty unhealthy.  And, of course, Camille is cranky because she sees that I'm eating.  Does she want to eat?  Does she just want to ruin my life?

10:35am - After stuffing down what I'd just made, I go to make some food for Camille.  For now, it's oatmeal cereal + pumped milk + Japanese yams.

10:40am - I start feeding Camille while she watches cartoons...in her jumperoo.  She, of course, feels like a diva.

Diva

10:50am - She has either eaten the entire thing (which is usually the case) or she has turned into Spitty Gonzales.  I clean up and we are off to wind down in her new room!  That's right!  We moved her into her new room last Saturday and, well, I will write more later.  So, winding down involves me changing her diaper, take her to go potty (she usually poops), and then walk around holding her upright (facing me) while singing a sleepy time song.

Sneaky little girl...with her taggie blanket

11:00am - (Yeah, winding down is a process and it takes a while...mostly because she likes to take forever on the potty.)  I put her down in her crib with her little taggie blanket and say, "It's nap time, Camille.  I love you very much.  Have a good nap!"  I then leave the room and I don't return unless I sense that there is something wrong (I have the baby monitor with me).  If she's over-tired, she will cry anywhere from 2 minutes to 5 minutes.  If it's just the right time, she will just play with the blanket and then worm into a comfortable sleeping position -- no crying!

11:05am - She's out!  If I'm smart, I'd take a nap or shower or have a quiet time.  I'm usually on Facebook.  And maybe I eat something.

12:50pm - She starts stirring.  Sometimes she will wake up and play in her crib for maybe 5-10 minutes.  If she was woken up by the garbage truck or something, though, then she'd cry.  I go pick her up.

1:00pm - I nurse her first and then take her to go potty.  Then we spend the rest of this awake period doing different things like visiting people, receiving visitors, going grocery shopping, or just dinkin' around the house.

Playing with Auntie Tara

2:15pm - I feed Camille her second solid food meal of the day.

2:50pm - Wind down and put down for second nap.

3:05pm - She's out!  But for her second nap, she often wakes up.  Usually not crying.  Just worms around and tries to get into a comfortable position.  Maybe there are more noises in the afternoon?

Ahhh...so peaceful

5:30pm - She wakes up and I nurse her.  Then I take her to go potty and change her diaper.

6:30-7:00pm - Chin comes home.  We make dinner and eat.  Haha!  Okay, this rarely happens.  Last night, it was fried chicken from Albertson's.  Yummm!

7:30pm - Camille gets her solid dinner.  Usually Chin feeds her.

8:00pm - Camille starts getting cranky.  You see, we've cut out her 3rd nap.  And she's sleepy.  But if I try to put her down at 8 (which we've tried a few times), she doesn't go down until past 10!  So, we just try to do different things to distract her.  Like walk around the mall or give her a bath (which she gets 2-3 times a week).  Or sometimes we just give her "naked time" where we take off her diaper and let her roll around.  She really enjoys this.  We do need to take her to go pee about every 15 minutes, though.  She can hold in pee.  But only for 15 minutes.  Hehe.  She's peed on our bed and the futon and the play mat and the couch a few times when we've been careless and let her go longer than 15 minutes.

8:45pm - If we haven't changed her diaper by now, we change her diaper and take her to go pee.  She normally wears cloth diapers during the day.  But at night, we put her in a disposable.  I don't really want to know what they put in those disposables to keep babies feeling dry for so long.  I suppose most parents don't want to know this.  Aaaaand that is why we continue to pollute God's green earth.  (I'm really stepping down from my organic, dye-free soap box now.)

8:50pm - The three of us wind down a little bit.  But usually by this time, Camille is pretty ready to go to sleep.  Chin kisses her good night.  I nurse her laying down on the futon in her room.  Most of the time, she falls asleep while nursing.

9:30pm - But inevitably, she wakes up at the end and starts having a conversation with herself.  No, I'm not kidding!  She's not looking at me.  She's just making talking sounds.  There's no need for a paternity test.  She's totally Chin's daughter!  If I don't feel like she's had a full feeding, I nurse her a little more (which takes a little bit of convincing).  When she's done, I put her down in her crib, give her the little taggie blanket and kiss her good night.  Most of the time, she plays in her crib and worms around for about 5-15 minutes and then falls asleep.  No crying.  Yay!  Chin & I hang out.  Which means we're on our separate computers but sitting in the same room (the living room, where we've relocated the office).

I woke up the other night to find her sleeping in this position

Weekends are completely different.  We just wing it most of the time. :)

So, that's it!  We ended up sleep-training her and we do let her cry-it-out when we feel that it's necessary.  We are thankful for the occasions where she does not need to cry at all.

Last night, I slept through the night.  It was my first time doing this since the 20th week of pregnancy!!  I didn't wake up even once.  When I woke up at 8:34am, I checked the monitor and Camille was playing with her taggie blanket.  I love this child so much!

...

As a final note, I would like to thank all my friends who have given me their input on infant sleep.  I am especially thankful for those who just listened to me bitch about this process.

And thank you for reading.  As I write, I aim to be as transparent and honest as I can be about this journey through life.  I realize that there are risks to being this naked about our lives.  But what the heck...we hope you still love us. :)

Thank you.

Sincerely,

The Weak

...

Blessed are the weak, for they will get sleep... 

(excerpted from the Baoieatitude)

Sleep is for the weak: Book reviews (*giggle*)

"The night is a very dark time for me." 

Chazz, Blades of Glory 

...

So, I haven't posted in a long time.  I've been catching up on sleep :)  Okay, that's a lie.  I've just been lazy and sleep-deprived.

As promised, this is the blog post solely dedicated to the review of baby sleep books I've never read.  I've picked up some of these books but I have not seriously read any of them.  So, here goes!

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
My smart friends who are not hippies all recommend this book.  You know who you are.

What I appreciate: As every parent knows, once you have something figured out, your child changes!  This book gets that.  There are solutions for different stages of development.  There are also several different solutions to choose from depending on your/your child's temperament or the parenting style you choose.

My concerns: The biggest point of contention for me is the advice to put your child down early.  He recommends between 6 and 8pm.  If the child has a lot of trouble with sleep, then even earlier!  Dr. Weissbluth talks about how parents and grandparents will keep children up past 8pm because they are selfish and just want to play with them.  Um, heck yeah!!  If Camille goes to bed at 6 or even 7, she'll never see Chin!  And that would mean she'd wake up at 6...which is totally uncool, in my book (my book, of course, is called "Sleep is for the Weak.").  I do appreciate, however, that I can still glean helpful information on the science of sleep from this book even if I don't buy into all of his philosophies.

On Becoming Baby Wise
Oh boy.  Many of my dearly respected friends use this book.  I love my friends.  The book?  Not so much!

What I appreciate: The authors talk about creating a routine and sticking to it so that baby can develop a sense of security based on this routine.  They discuss the sleep-eat-play cycle that you should get your children on so that they will know what to expect when sleepy time comes.  Good, sound concepts. 

My concerns: There are so many concerns, I need a bulleted list:

• He talks about stretching the feeding times so that babies do not develop the habit of "snacking" and will also thereby increase the amount of continuous sleep at night.  This sounds like good advice, but there are inherent hidden dangers.  Putting infants through a rigid schedule may result in malnutrition, dehydration, lost of trust, hunger strikes, decreased milk supply for moms, etc.
• The philosophies described in this book are largely legalistic and rigidly regimented.  It is perhaps something that works for other families.  Not for ours.
• I don't like the fact that he refers to a young baby's cry as being "manipulative."  That is hands down my biggest beef with this book.  I believe that babies cry to communicate.  Sure, baby could be communicating, "I want to be picked up just because I want to be held."  It is then up to the parents to decide whether to pick baby up.  When babies are young, their emotional needs and the need to be near parents are considered basic needs.  I believe that manipulation comes from kids whose parents have exhibited wide inconsistencies.  When kids know that parents will bend, they will manipulate.  I know it's all semantics.  But it's the same as calling an end-of-life patient "needy."  Do you get what I mean?
• Finally, I do not appreciate that there is a "Christian" spin to this book.  Sure, the author (Ezzo) has published Growing Kids God's Way.  But to claim to be an expert on sleep and child-rearing while he has no credentials is a real concern that parents must be aware of.  If anything, I would say that the Ezzos are the manipulative ones...claiming to be experts, preaching legalism, and weaseling their ways into Christian libraries to misinform God's people.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution
Many of my friends recommended this book to me.  I checked it out from the library to read while I was pregnant with Penelope.  There were definitely some valuable points to learn from this book.

What I appreciate: I like that the author's name is Elizabeth Pantley.  It's feminine.  Yet confident.  Okay...aside from that, I also like her tangible examples of setting routines for bedtime. 

My concerns:  I just don't think it works for every kid.  Some kids, I think including Camille, will cry no matter what.

12 Hours by 12 Weeks Old / The Baby Sleep Solution
I hadn't heard of this book until Camille was beginning to exhibit some sleep issues at 5-6 weeks.  I borrowed it from a friend and I learned some pretty interesting things.

What I appreciate: I like the concept that there is a distinct start to the day.  She said that we should set a time to start the day everyday so that babies know what to expect.  So even if babies wake up at 6:15am and you want the day to start at 7, feed the baby at 6:15 and then again at 7 so that baby will know that 7 is always associated with this "good morning" routine.  I also like that the author says you can conform baby's schedule to the individual need of your family.  She cited one rock band family who had a wacky late-night schedule so the baby was on a 12-hour schedule where she woke up at noon and went down at midnight or something crazy like that.  Whether or not this is scientific, I don't know.  But I appreciate that flexibility :)

My concerns: I don't mean to dismiss the experience of mothers, but I have a harder time trusting the author purely because she doesn't have any scientific knowledge of infants and infant sleep.  Sorry.  I am also skeptical of the promise of 12 hours of sleep.  Not that I don't think it is possible.  But I don't think it is healthy for a 12-week-old.  Much to my chagrin, I do think young infants are wired to wake up at night.  You can call it evolution or you can call it God's design, but I think it is healthy for them to wake up and (1) eat, (2) regulate their breathing, and (3) make sure they are safe.

The Baby Sleep Book
Written by the Sears, readers must understand that they come from the stance of attachment parenting.  If you are not willing to rock your baby to sleep, wear baby, co-sleep, etc., you're outta luck, Chuck! 

What I appreciate: I like attachment parenting.  I really do.  It's a lot of things my parents practiced when they were raising us.  I also appreciate the tangible safety tips on co-sleeping.  Bed-sharing can be very controversial in terms of safety and I feel that this book adequately discusses these concerns.

My concerns: If you are not bed-sharing and if you want to try cry-it-out, there isn't a lot of information for you in this book.  I've actually tried the method of laying a hand on Camille and soothing her to sleep standing over her crib.  That worked once...out of five times (sometimes I did this for 20 minutes)!  The book also talked about helping the child make a healthy association with sleep.  That sleep is a safe and peaceful time to enter into.  Really?!  Show me a child who likes bed time and I will show you why your little pariah has no friends.  Okay, I don't [completely] mean that.  But seriously, awake time is fun!  Who the heck wants to go to sleep?!  I hated nap times as a kid because there was always some fun to be had.  Maybe I just had an amazingly awesome childhood.  Yep, that's it! :P

The Happiest Baby on the Block
A lot of my friends recommended that I read this book.  So I looked it up on YouTube.

What I appreciate: Loved the 5 S's!!  I tried them all on Camille and they have all worked at some point in time.

My concerns: Beyond the first few months (what Dr.Karp describes as "the fourth trimester"), a lot of his calming methods do not work. 

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems
This book is written by the father of the cry-it-out method, Richard Ferber.  The man.  The legend.  The verb - "ferberizing." 

What I appreciate: For a book that promotes cry-it-out, I like the scientific explanations and reasons behind the methods.

My concerns: Dr.Ferber's cry-it-out method (called "graduated extinction") calls for parents to go in and check at scheduled intervals.  Without a video baby monitor, I think this would be necessary.  But if you have a baby monitor, I feel that it is better to do pure extinction (no checks) so that the baby doesn't get confused about, "How come Mommy is here but she's not picking me up?"  Just my opinion...

...

"Baby sleep books are as suspicious as Nigerian scams, instinctively you know it."

I found this quote on a blog while looking for reviews on good infant sleep books.  And, ain't that the truth!  These books always begin with horror stories of nightmare babies who are miraculously transformed into sleeping angels as soon as their parents followed the advice by Mommy Whozits or Doctor Whatzits who wrote the book.  And, of course, how irritating is it that these books all contradict each other?!  *sigh* In the end, really, you were just scammed into wasting time that you could have spent sleeeeeeepiiiiiiing! 

That is precisely why I don't read. :)

Sleep is for the weak: Sleep training week 1

We often ask just about every parent we meet, "How did you get your kids to sleep?  How did you put them down for naps?"

One answer we have consistently heard was, "Hmm...you know, I don't remember."

Well, that's not going to be us.  We're no loser, I-can't-remember parents!  So, we're going to note it down on this blog.  And hopefully you can glean some helpful information from our journey.  Or at least learn what not to do :)

This is week 1 of our serious sleep-training for Camille.

Thursday, February 3 (Lunar New Year)
To be honest, I don't remember much of this day.  It was the first day that we put forth an earnest effort to sleep train Camille.

It all started the day before, Wednesday.  We had dinner at Chung & Alice's (Chin's brother & sister-in-law) that evening and Chin made a comment that Camille would be sleep trained by now if it hadn't been for my unwillingness to let her cry it out.

This comment hurt me a lot, actually.  It was alarming that at 6 months, Camille could not fall asleep without the aid of being nursed, rocking (which usually involves crying anyway), riding in a car seat, or being carried in a carrier.  It also called my attention to being more united with Chin on this sleep-training front.

So I decided that the next day, I would try to see if there was truth behind Chin's comment -- whether Camille could be trained to sleep if she were left to cry.  I've always believed that it could work.  I just don't know if it would be a good fit for Camille's temperament and our lifestyle.

For the first nap of the day, I calmed her down, read her a book, and sang to her some sleepy time tunes (songs that I've been singing to her around bedtime since she was born).  The book we read had a scary gorilla on the front page and it freaked her out a little.  Okay, perhaps not the best choice.  So, I put her down in her crib, told her that I loved her, stroked her fro, and said, "It's time to take a little nap!"

She cried for about 25 minutes before falling asleep.  And then she woke up after 15 minutes and cried for about 10 minutes.  Altogether, there was probably 35 minutes of crying for 70 minutes of sleeping.

That afternoon, she napped for about 40 minutes in the car seat while I was running errands.

That evening, she napped for about 25 minutes in the car seat again.

I nursed her at our normal time, 10:00pm, and she fell asleep pretty quickly.

All in all, she seemed a bit tired and docile after the crying-out session.  The crying really dug at my spirit.  Chin was right, deep down I was really bothered by her desperate cries.

Friday, February 4

• Early, early morning, I think she woke up twice to nurse.  I can't remember exactly.
• 9:15 woke up
• 11:30 put down to crib, played, turned 90 degrees and starts kicking crib rails, laughing
• 11:40 I go in and picked her up to turn her around, gave her a little hug, put her down in crib, she started crying shortly thereafter
• 11:54 she's out!
• 12:36 up and crying
• 12:41 back to sleep
• 12:50 up again
• 1:15 fiiiinally back to sleep
• 2:10 woke up, nursed
• 3:45 put down to crib, started crying
• 3:50 she's out!
• 5:40 I had to go in to wake her up because we had a dinner to go to at OCB :)
• 7:30 napped in carrier at OCB for ~ 30 minutes
• 10:00 started night time feeding
• 10:45 she nursed until I was completely drained, but was still not asleep.  I sent Chin in with a bottle, she took about .5 oz - this girl still does not want to take the bottle!  She was pleasant and not crying, but we knew she was tired.
• 11:15 we put her in the crib and let her cry - the first time we've ever let her cry it out at night.
• 11:31 she's out!

Saturday, February 5

• She woke up twice to nurse.  Pretty uneventful, though.
• 10:00 woke up playing in crib
• 11:55 put down for nap
• 12:05 she's out
• 1:20 woke up, nursed
• 3:30 fell asleep on the way to Ikea
• 3:55 woke up in the As-Is section at Ikea.  We tried to get her to go back to sleep but were not successful.
• 7:13 cried "loud and violently"
• 7:39 went to sleep
• 7:48 woke up
• 7:56 back down
• 8:05 woke up for good. Then Chin & I had a conversation, debating whether to continue with cry-it-out.  It was a hard talk.  We decided not to continue it.
• 10:00 nursed to sleep
• 10:42 Chin wrote a blog entry about us stopping the cry-it-out training

Overall not a great sleeping day.

Sunday, February 6

• 4:30 woke up to feed. She woke up when I put her back into the crib.  I let her cry and she was out in less than 5 minutes.  "What?  You're going to let her cry?  I thought we decided not to do that," Chin said.  I replied, "I just don't see it working out any other way.  I am too tired to rock her to sleep."  Chin agreed.
• 9:30 woke up playing, Chin takes her and also composes a "proposal for sleep training."  It's pretty sweet. :)
• 11:15 nursed (at church)
• 12:40 fell asleep in car
• 1:15 woke up at Jumbo dim sum restaurant (who can blame her?)
• 2:15 nursed
• 3:30 put down for nap, cried for < 20 minutes, I think
• 5:00 woke up, nursed
• 8:15 napped in carrier
• 8:40 woke up
• 9:30 bedtime feeding, played and took a long time to fall asleep
• 10:17 finally asleep (took a lot longer than usual)

Another not-great sleeping day.

Monday, February 7

• Woke up twice to feed.  Again, I don't recall what time it was.  I tend to block out those painful memories.
• 9:30 woke up, played in crib, EC'd, nursed, played, blah blah blah
• 11:10 put down for nap, started crying
• 11:15 out!
• 12:45 woke up, played in crib
• 1:10 nursed
• 2:15 nursed a little again
• 3:03 put down for nap
• 3:08 she's out
• 5:50 woke up (prior to waking up, she was stirring a little bit but no crying), very pleasant, nursed
• 8:10 Chin wanted me to put her in the carrier to see if she would fall asleep, she nodded off a few times
• 8:45 Definitely not sleeping, wanted to play
• 9:45 bedtime feeding, fell asleep by 10:10

Great day, if you ask me! :)  I also noticed that Camille has less of that docile look and she is back to her interactive self.  I would say that she is even happier.  Perhaps because she is finally getting the much needed rest.

Tuesday, February 8

• 1:40 woke, fed on one side
• 4:55 woke, fed on other side, put back into crib but woke up, fed other side, back to sleep by 6:00, put back into crib around 6:15 but woke up and played
• 6:35 changed, fed again, woke after having fallen asleep, blah blah blah, walked around, rocked on bouncy ball for 5 mins
• 7:15 fiiinally back to sleep in crib!
• 9:10 woke up, played in crib for 20 minutes, changed
• 9:50 nursed
• 11:20 put down for first nap, started crying
• 11:24 sleeping
• 12:54 woke up playing in crib, very pleasant
• 3:03 put down for nap
• 3:05 out!
• 3:47 woke up, started crying
• 3:51 stopped crying, but started playing and turned 90 degrees
• 3:54 I went in to turn her around and put the pillows back on top of her. (We put two heavy pillows on top of her while she sleeps.  The weight of the pillows calm her.)  Started crying.
• 3:58 back to sleep
• 5:15 woke up, played in crib, changed, fed
• 7:30 asleep in car
• 7:55 woke up
• 9:30 nursed to sleep, took a while to actually fall asleep

Wednesday, February 9

• 2:15 fussed a little, picked up and rocked for 5 mins
• 3:50 woke up to feed, right back to sleep
• 5:08 up again for feeding
• 6:55 up again to ruin my life (changed, fed)
• 8:45 woke up playing
• 9:15 fed, not very well
• 10:57 fed again a little bit
• 11:05 down, already asleep from nursing
• 12:57 woke up, pleasant
• 3:08 put down for nap, crying
• 3:19 out
• 3:55 woken up by the damn squeaky kitchen faucet knobs, started crying after 3-4 minutes
• 4:06 out again
• 5:18 woke up, pleasant, nursed
• From 7 to 8:30, she showed signs of being pretty tired but did not fall asleep in the carrier and, after crying for over 10 minutes, she was just not going down.  Oh well.
• 9:00 nursed, fell asleep
• 9:45 put her down in crib, woke up, nursed a little bit again, back to sleep

There.  More to come...

Sleep is for the weak: Back on

Oh, it's back on...like Donkey Kong!  Slightly different methods.  But there is a plan. :)

Sleep is for the weak: Abort Mission!

After 3 days of trying the cry-it-out method of sleep training, Bao and I have agreed to stop.  It's not what we want for us, and it's not what we want for Camille.  If there are other methods of training her to sleep better, then we'll explore all other options.  Right now, we're gonna go with the "wait until she's 18" approach to sleep training.  Surely she'll get it by then.

Sleep is for the weak: Cry it out

This blog entry is to remind me of what it was like before Camille slept soundly through the night.

Efforts so far
Bao and I have gone back and forth dozens of times on what the proper method of sleep training is.  So far, we've stuck to the tried-and-true method of picking her up and comforting her whenever she wakes and cries.  It's worked out great.  She's attached to us, she is stable in social environments, and we are confident there are no emotional scars for her or us.  Unfortunately, this comes at the cost of our own sleep, energy levels, and moods.

The new plan.. and results
So the new plan is to let her cry her way to sleep for naps and at night.  Our hearts break each time we hear her cry, but from a sleep perspective, it has worked very well.  Camille has only cried for over more than 15 minutes twice since we've started.  It's day 3, and she routinely puts herself to sleep within 15 minutes.  Sometimes she'll be asleep in as little as 3 minutes.  We don't know if this will cause any emotional scaring, but here goes nothing.

Before and after
Before cry it out - Camille is always happy when awake.  She's usually smiling at people, likes to talk and relax, and always loves being picked up by most anybody (if facing outward).

When she's sleepy however, she is difficult to put down.  She's even difficult to hold in a "laying down" position.  About the only position she likes when tired is upright and facing out from the person holding her.  She usually can't sleep in this position.  Naps and nights usually require 10-40 minutes of rocking/walking/bouncing/putting her down again and again until she finally goes down for sleep.  She will often wake up just after 5-10 minutes and require us to do the whole song and dance routine again to get her down.  Once down for good, she sleeps well most nights.

After cry it out - We've only been through 4 naps and 1 night time sleeping routine trying the cry-it-out method.  She's still the same personality during waking hours; but Bao and I both notice she has less "really big smile and laughs."  I think this is just our guilt skewing or perception of her, but it's something to keep an eye on.

As for sleeping, it's very easy to put her down - just put her down and let her fight it out until she passes out.  The tough part is living with yourself knowing that you aren't answering your child's cries for help and comfort.  The first time Bao did this (while I was at work) it took 50 minutes to get her down and she slept for 5 minutes before waking again, and crying for another 10 minutes.  After the 10 additional minutes of crying, she slept for 45 minutes.  60 minutes of crying for 50 minutes of sleep.  Not good returns.

Things got much better really fast.  By the 2nd day, it would take ~5 minutes to get her down for naps of 1-1.5 hours.  By day 2 night (the first time trying cry-it-out at night), it took her 16 minutes to put herself to sleep.  She slept soundly for 5 hours.  She fed and went back to sleep for 4.5 additional hours, with only a small (~5 minute) break to cry it out some more.  9.5 hours of sleep with less than 10 minutes of wake time.

By day 3's first nap, it took her 10 minutes to put herself to sleep, and she slept for 1:15 hours.  Her cries are also less violent and painful.

During waking moments, she's much more calm.  Is this a sign of maturing as she learns to soothe herself, or is this a symptom of emotional scaring?  Is she growing up, or turning away from her parents?  Crazy thoughts from a inquisitive, and slightly guilt-ridden father.

More to come
We'll try to keep the comments on this post updated with how she does as we continue with the new sleep training methods.  Keep us in your prayers.

Follow-up data

Day 3
Nap 1 - 25 minutes sleep while driving from Bellevue to Ikea.  Woke up at Ikea right away and couldn't go back to sleep.  Essentially skipped nap 1 for this day.
Nap 2 - Should be dead tired since she skipped nap 1, but looked awake and alert.  We decided to put her down anyway at 7:13pm.  She cried - loud and violently - until 7:39, then went to sleep.  Woke at 7:48.  Back down at 7:56.  Woke for good at 8:05.  34 minutes of crying for 18 minutes of sleep.

Sleep is for the weak: Childrearing philosophies and...being real

These are general child-rearing and sleep concepts that I believe in:

• Adjustment to extra-uterine life can be rough!  Heck, if I had a choice, I would crawl back inside my mom (provided that I can take along my laptop...and she is around places with good Wifi).
• Sleep is as important, if not more so, for baby's growth as eating.  
• For the first three months, often referred to as "the fourth trimester," care for your infant without worry of spoiling them and help them ease into life outside the womb.  This means feeding on demand, swaddling, not waking them up (but who would be dumb enough to wake up a sleeping baby...*points to self*), and gently teaching them the difference between day and night.
• That being said, I believed that the first three months were important in teaching them when to sleep.  The how part is a secondary priority and could be saved for later when they have gotten the when down.
• After the first three months (actually, I waited to 15 weeks since Camille was born a little early), it is okay to start training them in certain things such as how to sleep and when meal times are.  I started stretching out Camille's feeding time to every 4 hours while she was awake and feed on demand in the middle of the night.
• I try to incorporate small inconsistencies into Camille's routines.  Nothing too drastic.  Maybe a 30-minute shift in feeding time, or singing a different song for nap time, or letting her nap in a different setting, etc.  I hope that by doing this, she will become more adaptable while still having a good routine.
• My relationship priorities are as follows: God, Chin, children, other family, others.
• I believe that parents and children should have good boundaries.  There are times for co-sleeping and baby-wearing, and then there are times to wean children of childish things and to set healthy boundaries.
• A lot of Western childrearing philosophies lead to independence.  Independence for parents (don't have to rock children to sleep, more Mommy and Daddy times) and independence for children (learning to self-soothe, learning to be self-sufficient).  That's cool, I guess.  But that's not really for me.  Chin & I prefer interdependence and would much rather have children who are more relational.

I believe that there are two types of people in the world: Those who live strictly on principles, and childrearing adults.

Before Camille's arrival, I had all these ideals.  There are certain things that parents do that make me question their sanity.  I now realize that all parents are insane.  Here's a list of things that Chin & I have done as new parents that we never thought we would do:

• Breastfeeding for over 1.5 hours long.  A friend of mine told me that she did this with her first baby.  My thought, "Uh, yeah, that's because you are insane!"  True.
• Breastfeeding every meal for five stinkin' months.  Camille doesn't take the bottle, and with her teething, introducing the bottle has been really tough.  In fact, I believe that some of her nursing strikes are due to her rebellion against the bottle.
• Being completely inconsistent with sleep training.  We've let Camille cry it out about 5-6 times...but not with any consistency or method.  Yep, sometimes we just let her cry because we're just pooped out.
• Sometimes spending up to 30 minutes to rock the child to sleep.  As mentioned before, I really thought we would be better at disciplining and sleep-training our baby so that she doesn't need to be rocked to sleep.  But, here we are...
• Having the nerve to raise our voice at a child who is either not sleeping or not feeding.  Okay, that's just mean.
• Staying up until the wee hours of the morning, forfeiting precious sleep hours, just so we can savor some child-free times.  We still do this.  Every night.
• Being willing to spend $1000 for a truly good night's sleep.  Okay, maybe not $1000.  But if Groupon has a deal for $400, we're on it!
• Some days, regretting the decision to embark on this journey of parenthood.  What the heck were we thinking?!?!
  and finally...the best...
• Doing a #2 while child is on breast.  I did this the first time when Camille was 2 weeks old and was nursing in a sling.  I've done this several times since then...just holding her with one arm.  You know, sometimes you just have to do what's necessary to not poop your pants.

Fortunately, there is grace. 

We are still learning.

Finally, I was going to apologize that all my posts are composed of multiple bulleted lists.  But I'm not going to.  Because I only have the capacity to think in short thoughts.  That is the truth.