Camille's twelth month: A review

Yes, it's the last of the monthly reviews.  It's here.  She's ONE!

*pause to reflect, ponder, and cry a bit*

This month has been a bit crazy for us.  I am getting close to the end of my first quarter back at school.  As I look toward the next two years of academia, I honestly don't know how I can do it!  But I certainly cannot imagine life without Camille.

Warning: toddler road rage

New, fun things this month:

• Standing for a lot longer
• Saying words like "bear bear" and "ball" and "pssss" (please) more consistently
• She'll copy a lot of the sounds we make
• She's a lot more curious about things and is getting into everything!
• I can sense that in general, she knows what she's not supposed to get into...and purposely gets into them.  The defiance begins...
• Tries to offer food to/feed others
• Getting so much better at drinking out of a cup!!!
• She lets out a satisfying "aaaaah" after drinking.  A skill taught by Daddy.
• Lastly...I may be getting ahead of myself here, but I could have sworn Camille could recognize that the image in the mirror is herself!  One day while I was feeding her some tofu, a little bit got on her upper lip.  I thought it made her look funny so I resisted wiping it off.  So while she was exploring (yes, I feed her when she's not on the high chair), she crawled into our room and to our closets which had mirrors on the doors.  She saw her reflection and got really excited (as per usual).  But then she looked carefully and used her hand to guide the bit of tofu into her mouth.  That's gotta be some sort of Asian rouge test, right?!

"See how helpful I am?"

The specs
As of August 3, 2011:

• Weight: 15 lbs 13 oz
• Height: 28.2 in

Milestones & important events
July 14 - Camille's first day in daycare.  She did great.  Didn't cry when I left.  Didn't fuss all day.  But she did scratch another kid and made her cry when she felt that her toys (well, actually the other kid's toys) were being taken away.

July 15 - She learns to spit things out of her mouth.  She learned out to blow water out of her mouth pretty early on.  But thrusting food back out was a new skill.  Blurg!!

Chin & Camille.  DiniNG.

July 26 - Camille learned how to say "ball."  She says things like "bear bear" and "baby" and "BaBa" (mostly "b" words).  But "ball" is the most clear and most consistent in speech and comprehension.  Chin & I also celebrated our 8th anniversary - first with a baby.

August 3 - GI check-up: "She's healthy and happy.  She's fine.  Now pay up."  I coulda told you that first part.  That last part may or may not have been uttered (but I'm sure it crossed the doc's mind).

August 13 - Camille gets her first haircut.

I think one or two hundred other children
have chewed on that toy...

Favorite part...
So many!  My favoritest would be Camille's hugs.  She's a lot more affectionate now and will give me hugs randomly. 

After nursing, she fell asleep...

...and rolled to the edge of the bed...

...I laid down some pillows in case she fell off the bed...

...she did.  And continued sleeping.

Least favorite... 
I think it's just the feeling that I'm not doing as much homework as I'm supposed to.  I can really only do work while she is sleeping.  And then when she's sleeping, I'm on Facebook.  Lack of discipline is my least favorite!

Shout outs
...To the Ephrems for watching Camille so that we could enjoy a romantic night out to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary!

...To Camille's daycare lady who continues to amaze us with what she does.  Camille loves spending time at her house and playing with her children.  She comes home well-fed and happy (albeit sometimes not very well-rested).  She's amazing!

Camille with Anna, her favorite person to scratch.  *sigh*

...To Di Mien & Bac Nguyen for watching Camille while we got to enjoy a good dinner & catching up time with our small group.

...To Columbia City Cuts and Dina for giving Camille her first haircut.  Dina has had 7 years of experience cutting kids' hair and over 20 years in the industry.  Her suggestions were great, she was quick, precise, creative, and the end product is wonderful.  (A secondary "shout out" is due to LivingSocial for giving us a deal on this haircut.  Hip hip!)

Discoveries & reflections
...I look at other children who have extremely cute, multi-piece outfits on...then I look at Camille and she has on a onesie that she has worn for maybe a couple of days and there are stains all over it.  And then realize that (1) it probably doesn't take other parents 10 minutes to put on a diaper and one item of clothing for their child like it does mine, and (2) if it takes that long for them, w'hell, I just lack that kind of patience.

...I seriously took a week to mourn the loss of Camille's hair.  I never knew I could be so sad over something so simple.  But I was.  It was her original hair.  That hair was nurtured by my womb.  *sigh*  But when I see her new haircut, I think it looks really cute.  I'm glad we decided to keep the bangs, though :)

A graduated bob.  Just like Mommy's!

...I think Camille is so lovely.

...It's simply inexcusable to not have all of our thank-you cards written for Camille's baby shower gifts and gifts from her baby party.  But what can I say, I put the pro in procrastination.

...I don't know why it took us so long to finally realize this, but dining out is so much more convenient and pleasant if we brought along her booster chair!  When she has nowhere else to go (i.e., climbing out of the restaurant high chair), she actually sits and eats with us.  She'll even feed herself most of the time or keeps herself entertained somehow.  It's great!

...I'm so sad that Camille doesn't like avocado.

...This year has been action-packed, full of excitement, longer than it should be, and has gone by like a flash.  (Oh, don't you worry, there will be a review of the full first year.  Do look out for it.)

Last day before she turns 1

Camille's eleventh month: A review

Wow, this post is 1/2 a month overdue.  Is it because I'm in denial that when the next post is written, Camille will be a ONE year old?  Perhaps.

As you can see in the above picture, our pint-sized wonder is getting into everything.  She's more independent.  A strong crawler and climber.  She's making advances toward bipedal movements.  Super active.  We're so tired! :)  There haven't been a whole lot of new "tricks" and development this month, but Camille is definitely standing on her own a bit longer everyday (still under 5 seconds).

We had prayed that she would be an affectionate child.  And thankfully, this month she has shown that she is capable of snuggling and giving hugs!  We love her. :)

The specs
As of July 9, 2011 (not at a clinic, just on a bath scale at Grandma & Grandpa Ng's):

• Weight: 15 lb 
• Height:? maybe taller than last month?

Milestones & important events
June 16 - Camille learned how to clap on the cruise.  I didn't even know she could clap (um, because I didn't teach her).  One of the ladies on the cruise taught her how to clap and she picked it up right away.

June 17 - Camille says her first multi-syllabic word: tickle.  I would tickle her and say, "Tickle tickle tickle!"  And she would say, "Duckle!  Duckle!"  I take it that she's a genius.  (Btw, "Duckle" is one of her favorite things to say now.)

June 19 - Happy 1st Father's Day, Chin!

June 23 - Bao's first day back at school.

June 24 - After being chewed on one time too many by Camille, my laptop charger died.

"I am innocent."

June 28 - In the middle of the night, Camille rolled around and whimpered a bit.  Me (to Chin): "I think she's cold.  Maybe we should put pants on her." Chin (half sleeping): "I will give you $1,000 if you do it." Of course, he was referencing Three Men and a Baby.  But I took his money anyway and we made a trip out of it...to Southern California to attend the first centennial celebration for the Vietnamese church!

July 1 - First airplane ride!  Did well.  Slept half of the flight and played for the other half.  Very pleasant.  We went down to Southern California and had a fun, short vacation.

"Happy 4th of July!"

July 4 - Second airplane ride.  Did not do as well.  She wasn't fussy, just screamed really loud.  Some fellow passengers were real sourpusses about it.  Can't say I blame them.  Wish we had duct tape!

July 9 - While we were out running errands in Seattle, Chin & I decided that we'd just take a spontaneous trip to Longview!  With nothing packed, we managed to make it work.  (It may not sound very special to those of you who don't have children, but it was kind of a big deal for us.)

July 11 - 7Elevens had their free Slurpee day today!  Camille and I went to get one.  She insisted on sucking on the straw.  We'd tried and tried introducing the straw to her for the past 4-5 months.  And finally, the Slurpee did it!  From this day forth, she knows how to suck fluids up a straw.  Amazing!

Favorite part...
Family snuggle time.  Every morning before Chin goes to work, the three of us would just roll around in bed together.  Mostly it's Camille snuggling with us for about 30 seconds and then the rest of the time, the two of us are trying to wrangle her.

Least favorite... 
When I feed Camille, she doesn't want to eat, she squats food away, and it lands in the most inconvenient places.  Somehow, there's always food in her hair!

Shout outs
...to all the old peeps on the Holland America Cruise.  They were all real cool.

...to Lam and my sister GT for helping us watch Camille while I was at school!

Look at that pouty face. (Picture taken by Auntie Lam)

...to the Chins for lending us a stroller for our trip to California.  I highly recommend getting the MacLaren Volo!

...to GT & Wayman for taking us to and bringing us back from the airport.

Discoveries & reflections
...Words & phases often heard around here these days:

• "WHAT is in her mouth?"
• "No screaming!"
• "Camille!!  EAT!!"
• "Argh!! Not on the carpet!!"
• "Nooooo!  Stop eating Mommy's textbooks!" (But we all know this is as much action as these things are ever going to get.)
• "She's made a patty." (Translation: "She has pooped.")
• "She's giving birth." (Translation: "She's very constipated.")
• "It's TJN time!" (Translation: "Time to give her a bath.  Her neck smells like toe jam." TJN = toe-jammy neck.)

"What?"

...We've been doing elimination communication since Camille was pretty little.  We started associating a "psst psst psst" sound with toileting since the day she was born.  Nowadays when I put her over the toilet, rather than waiting for me to make the sound, Camille would make the "psst psst psst" sound. :)

...After many months of feeding solids to Camille, I am still incapable of spoon-feeding her without mimicking the eating movements with my own mouth.  You know what I'm talking about!

...When Camille doesn't eat or drink, it makes me want to cry.

...The last thing a mom of a skinny kid wants to hear is grandmas telling her, "Could you try a little harder to feed her more?"

...Her lack of weight is always a concern for us.  I just want to write that down so that there's a written record somewhere.  We do feed her.  We do care about her deeply.  For some reason, people (grandparents, mostly) are not so convinced of this.

...Camille's love for her dad is one of the most amazing things I've been fortunate enough to witness. Her eyes light up and she gives the brightest smile when Daddy comes home from work. He makes her laugh out loud. They have a blast together. I love it!

Fun times with BaBa

...Camille has my thighs. I'm sorry.

...Camille has my temperament. I'm sorry.

...It used to be that every month, we (I) would go through Camille's clothes and put aside the items that she has outgrown.  This month: nothing.  In fact, I feel that she's even regressing and can fit into 3-6 month stuff!  Our baby has simply stopped growing.

"I fart rainbows."

...When Camille is well-rested, she will wake up very happy.  She will smile and clap when I go in to get her.  If she ever wakes up really irritated, it's best if I let her cry for a couple of minutes and let her fall back asleep.  It works nearly every time!

...Camille is starting to look like a kid.  Like a toddler.  No more baby Camille. :(

The last sticker picture before she turns ONE!

Camille's tenth month: A review

Again, a late post.  Sorry, fans!  We were on a cruise, you see, and we just came back a few days ago.  Also, today is the last day of my maternity leave.  I go back to school tomorrow.  *sniff sniff hooray!*

"What's up, Cat?"

Naturally, Camille continues to brighten our lives with all sorts of loveliness.  Here are the ways that she's grown lately:

• Camille likes to mimic sounds.  One day, I made a clicking sound with my tongue and amazingly, she was able to copy me!  When we say "baba" or "please" or "yucky," it seems like she's trying to imitate the sound, too.
• She is very particular with toys.  She likes toys that are (1) not her toys from home, and (2) not intended to be toys...like electrical wires.
• She loves to play with the dresser in her room.  It is just a matter of time before some little fingers get smashed.  I'm not ready for that day.
• Camille will wave hello/goodbye, but very unpredictably.
• Her manual dexterity continues to improve.  She can take a small piece of cereal with her thumb and forefinger, transfer it to the thumb and forefinger of the other hand, and insert it into her mouth but only far enough so that she can slowly crunch it with her six front teeth.  Girlfriend's got skills!
• A few people have commented on how strong Camille is.  I don't think she's extraordinarily strong.  I think people are just caught off guard that a girl this scrawny can have any muscle strength at all! :P  She has started to walk gripping onto our hands.  At first, she would only take a few steps before getting distracted/bored/thinking "I can crawl so much more efficiently than this."  But she is slowly making more progress and is taking increasingly more steps.  Still, I don't want her to be an early walker.  Our house is totally not toddler proof!
  

Messin'

The specs
As of June 10, 2011:

• Weight: 15 pounds even
• Teeth: 2 at the bottom, 4 at the top

Pig tails

Milestones & important events
May 19 - While Camille was laying down, I said, "Do you wanna stand?" (I say this a lot)...and she extended her arms to grab onto my hands so I could help her up!  Also, later that day, the OT/lactation consultant at Children's called for a check-in.  Hearing that there is no progress in the drinking department, she said, "There isn't anything mechanically wrong.  Camille knows how to drink.  It's just a matter of her strong will.  I wonder if your best option might just be to cut off nursing completely so that she could learn how to drink from another source.  And then it might be possible to reintroduce breastfeeding later once she's gotten a hang of drinking from a cup."

May 20 - I started cutting off breastfeeding completely.  This was a very difficult decision but I was just so tired of battling with Camille.  The following days were pretty unpleasant.  Every time she woke up, she expected breastfeeding.  When we offered her milk in a cup, she was very upset.

May 22 - After over 48 hours of holding out on breastfeeding her, Camille had only taken in a cumulative of 4 oz of milk.  We were both very frustrated.  I called up Krista to ask for her advice.  Well, she didn't have any advice for me (ha!), but it was a good conversation that gave me insight into my own stubbornness.  I resumed breastfeeding Camille that morning.  She was so happy and fell asleep right away.  What a sweet girl.

May 23 - Camille was mistaken for a parrot at Grocery Outlet. 

June 1 - Went down the slides for the first time!

Down the slides with BaBa

June 8 - While playing, hanging onto the couch, Camille suddenly pushed the couch away and stood on her own for a few seconds.  Then she sat down on her bum...with a huge, proud grin on her face. :)  She hasn't done that very often since then, though.  We also had an appointment at Seattle Children's GI department today.  Verdict: she's perfectly healthy...and incredibly strong-willed.

June 9 - Camille climbed up a step all by herself.  We live in a small apartment with no stairs inside the living space and Camille has not had an opportunity to try out this skill.  When we were visiting the Pangs, she wanted to come to me and climbed up a step (from the sunken living room) to get to me.  Good job, Miu Miu!!

June 11 - I put Camille's hair in pigtails for the first time (her hair is getting long and her neck is always so sweaty).  She looks supah cute!  She looks like Boo, the little girl from Monsters, Inc.

June 12 - We take off for a week-long cruise to Alaska.  The first time for all of us!

We're on a boat!

Favorite part...
Chin took some time off for the cruise.  Being together as a family was definitely the highlight of this month!

Least favorite... 
Do I need to say it again?  I think my least favorite moments involve having milk (oh yes, milk that I took so much effort to pump) spat out at me or spilled on the carpet/clothes/hair/etc.

Shout outs
...to Kristie for babysitting Camille several times during our sippy cup training trials.  So, so sorry, Kristie!!

...to Jonas Leong for lending Camille his fancy sippy cup.  Unfortunately, she didn't like it :(

...to the Grays for taking Camille when we were just fed up with her...and giving her the love and comfort that she needed at the time.  Thank you so much!

...to Dr. Ghassan Wahbeh at Seattle Children's GI Clinic for letting us know that Camille is totally fine and that she should be given more fruits so she won't be so constipated.  Oops!  As Chin said, "This guy really knows his sh!t."

...to Grandma Ng for watching Camille so many times on the cruise so we could go watch shows and leisurely buffet ourselves to death.

Discoveries & reflections
...I think every parent has had that moment when the thought briefly crosses their mind, "Hmm...this [food] kinda smells like [my child]'s poop.  No!!  Stop thinking this!  Stop thinking this right now!"

*Evil laugh*

...It seems inevitable that we have to cut Camille's hair soon.  The back of her neck gets really sweaty as the weather is getting warmer because of her thick hair.  Awww...I don't wanna cut her hair!

...Someone recently asked me, "Have you been teaching Camille baby sign language?  You know, it's proven to blah blah blah."  To which I responded, "Of course I've been teaching her sign language!"  I have not.  I haven't taught her body parts or how to clap or any good words.  Crap, I guess you're not going to amount to much, kid!

...I think Camille is really smart.  No, no, I'm not just that biased mom who thinks her baby is the best.  She is empirically the best!!

It's been an incredible 10 months
staying home with you, Camille!

Breaking a child's will without breaking her spirit

I realize that the title of this post might be misleading.  This is not a "how to" kind of post.  I have no idea how to do it.

In this mothering journey, I have come to realize that I have no idea how to do most things.  I just rely on the goodness of God and the kindness of my husband who sometimes takes the baby and lets me sleep in.

I'm writing this post at 4:30 in the morning.  Camille woke up crying at around 3:15am.  Instinctively, I knew she woke up because she was thirsty/hungry.  I didn't feel like she nursed very well before bed because she was a little hyperactive and wanted to crawl around.  I had to switch from side-lying nursing to picking her up and holding her to nurse in order to keep her from crawling away.  Still didn't work.

I waited until 3:35 to pick her up.  Yes, I let her cry bloody murder for 20 minutes.  (Thankfully, we must have thick walls because the neighbors insist that they never hear her cry.  I'm also thankful that Chin can sleep through her crying, too, for the most part.) 

I really struggled with the decision to pick her up.  If I pick her up and nurse her, will she develop this pattern of always wanting to be nursed in the middle of the night?  Should I just leave her to cry until she is so tired she will pass out again?  What kind of a mother would be so cruel?  What do my instincts say?  (Yes, I am plagued by this awful question all the time!)

I decided to heat up a ThinkBaby transitional sippy cup with about 3 oz of pumped milk and a little bit of formula for a calorie booster.  Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeams and struggles and gulps of milk spat out on my face and all over the bed.  No go.  Rest a little bit.  Try again.  Same results.  Rest a little bit.  Try again.  Same results. 

Then I tried to reason with her.  "Beloved child, if you don't take the milk from this cup, I am putting you back in bed.  This is Mommy's milk.  It's good for you.  It will make you less thirsty."  Who expects anyone to think straight at four in the morning?!

Try again.  Same results.

Then I think about her recent weight loss, undoubtedly due to the fact that she's simply not getting enough milk.  I think about nursing her.

But am I giving into her strong will?  How I break her will...without breaking her spirit?  And without breaking the trust that I have built with her?

Then I think of articles like this one.  Those natural parenting writings that "never intend to guilt you" but inevitably do so.

I don't know.  I don't know what to do.  She finally fell asleep in my arm.  I am sure she's still thirsty and hungry. 

What do I do?

I feel incredibly alone.

Camille's ninth month: A review

This post is obviously a few days late.  Sorry, Camille's fans!

We've had a busy month and the past few days have been a bit challenging with stubborn child not wanting to drink, friend in a coma, and us attending a marriage retreat...

Next month, I go back to school.  Wow!  I am both stoked and scared to go back to school.  I would love to once again interact with grown-ups.  But I am a little apprehensive about (1) my academic muscles being atrophied, (2) Camille not drinking while I'm away, and (3) missing the little girl. :(

Camille & Auntie GT (my sister)

Well, this little girl continues to grow developmentally...although not so much in terms of weight:

• Started making the waving/grasping hand motion for "hi" and "bye"...although I'm not sure if she's doing them on purpose.
• Pincer grip!  It's here in full force!  She loves playing with her food.
• She likes to drum on things and bang toys together.  She's starting to nod and shake to music!
• Loves playing peek-a-boo.  I think she gets object permanence, though, because she will go look for things that are hidden underneath the covers or inside my palm.
  
  

  

  Playing peek-a-boo with Kaia

• Can sit up on her own
• Can crawl
• Can pull herself up to a standing position.  This also means that she will take forever to go to sleep because she's just up...exploring her new skills!
• Very, very talkative at home and in the backseat of the car.  Once she's in public, how much she babbles depends on how comfortable she feels in that environment.  Her babbling has gotten more "sophisticated."  She says "BaBa" ("Daddy" in Cantonese) a lot; although we're not sure she knows what she means.  She just started saying "Mumma"...and this melts my heart.

The specs

As of May 17, 2011:

• Weight: 14 lb 7.5 oz (off the bottom of the chart!)
• Height: 27.75 in (50-75%ile)
• Head circumference: 16.5 in (5%ile)
• Teeth: 2 at the bottom, 4 at the top

Milestones & important events
April 23 - An unexpected drive through some of Washington's most beautiful sites!  First time visiting Skykomish, Leavenworth, Cle Elum, and Roslyn...first time for all of us.

Our family outside of the Roslyn Cafe
(from the show "Northern Exposure"!)

April 26 - Camille sits up on her own.

April 27 - For the first time ever: No poop!

April 28 - Camille bit me during nursing (intentionally!) and got herself in trouble.  I disciplined her for the very first time by putting her in time out...in her crib.  She started crying immediately because she knew she was in trouble!  I left her her there for 2-3 minutes.  After that, she never bit me again!

May 2 - It's hard to say when Camille started crawling because she's been scooting for a while now.  But this was approximately when she started making all the crawling motions and propelled herself forward...toward electrical wires.

May 5 - Cinco de Mayo!  Midwives Day!  Children's Day!  I took Camille to Children's for an appointment in the OT/PT department to get help with her drinking.  I also found out that day that Camille learned how to pull herself up to a standing position while she was in her crib.  How did I find out?  Via the baby monitor.  She stood up, reached out of the crib for the camera, took the camera into the crib and started chewing on it.  *sigh*  This girl...

May 7 - Camille's first Shrimp Feast!

May 8 - My first official Mother's Day (I'd already had 2 Mother's Days being with child)!  We also dedicated Camille at church.

We may look like we're posing,
but we are just really that perfect looking

May 12 - International Nurse's Day!  In honor of this day (joke), I started cutting down the number of times I nurse Camille.  Instead of nursing Camille four times a day (waking up, after first nap, after second nap, and before bed), I started cutting out the middle two sessions.  I was simply too frustrated with the fact that she was not making any progress in drinking and just wanted her to get desperate enough to try and drink.  Read more about this here.

Favorite part...
Hearing Camille babble/sing in the back seat.  Such a sweet sound.  She's so talkative!  In the middle of the night one night, she woke up, sat up in bed, babbled a few things for about 5 seconds, and then laid down and fell back asleep.  I love this girl a lot!

Least favorite... 
The sound of a snotty nose.  Camille still not taking milk out of the bottle/cup (and barely any other liquid).

Shout outs
...This is a belated shout out.  I can't believe I missed it!  Shout outs to Kristie for getting Camille her Fisher Price booster chair!  We use it everyday and it is so useful!

...to Mina for babysitting so I could go to my eye appointment.  Camille napped extra long that day and was very happy to see that Auntie Mina was still there when she woke up.  Thank you, Mina!!

...to Gayle Bonato for the thorough assessment of Camille's feeding problems and for offering great advice!

...to Lindsey for watching Camille while we spent much needed time away at the marriage retreat!

Discoveries & reflections
..."Have I brushed my teeth today?  I coulda sworn I have.  I distinctly remember applying toothpaste on the toothbrush.  I was standing right here...no wait, was that yesterday? *use tongue to check for dental cleanliness*  Hmm...  What have I eaten today?"  I have this thought going through my head nearly everyday.

...It doesn't matter if you have reached your pre-pregnancy weight or weigh even less.  If you routinely unbutton your jeans around the house, you have not lost all that baby weight!

...I have learned that I am self conscious about my postpartum pooch.  Just a little, usually.  Sometimes a lot.

...I think I would enjoy breastfeeding a lot more if I don't have the stress of transitioning her to a bottle/cup.

...No matter how freaking fantastic Daddy is, Mommy is the bottom line.  (But Camille's Daddy is pretty freaking fantastic!!)  Daddy can afford to reach a certain threshold and say, "I can't do this anymore."  Mommy never has the luxury to do so.  If all the Mommies of the world can bank on an equitable division of labor, say that they have reached their limit and then pass on the baton, I think that would be a pretty scary picture.  (Happy Mother's Day, Momkind!)

...When people say, "Wow, she feels so light!"  I hear, "So...how come you're not feeding her?"  When people say, "It's okay that she's skinny.  As long as she's healthy, right?  She doesn't even look that skinny to me, she looks just right."  I hear, "So...how come you're not feeding her?"  I know that's not what people mean.  But...such is the plight of a mother whose child is a bean pole.

...The more I feed Camille, the more she poops.  Some days, the volume of output seemingly exceeds the volume of input.  Seriously!  It seems like the act of feeding her is equivalent to earning and income.  And her pooping is equivalent to income tax.  The less effort I put into feeding her, the less poop comes out.  On days when she's been a good eater, she poops a lot!  Sometimes, I just say, "Why bother?!"  If I just don't feed her at all, can I just go on some form of...public assistance?

...I am finding that sometimes my attempts to be honest and transparent just sound like whining.  I post on Facebook all the time about my struggles with motherhood.  Recently, I've been wondering if it sounds like I'm just whining a lot.  Really, though, I just want to put it out there so no one would be under the illusion that this motherhood thing is all pink roses and maple bars (that's a saying, isn't it?).

...I have learned that I have no idea how to even start baby-proofing this place :-/

I like her a lot

EatiNG ... not so much drinkiNG

I'm really excited that Camille is eating solids now.  Sometimes it takes a lot of work.  Most of the time it is super messy.  But it is FUN!!

"I'm here. Feed me!"

We started introducing Camille to solids soon after she turned 6 months.

Here is what Camille has tried so far (kind of in order, but not really):

• Oatmeal cereal
• Banana
• Greens (usually served steamed and whole for her to munch on): spinach, broccoli, bok choy, lettuce
• Japanese white yams
• Sweet potatoes
• Rice & other grains: jasmine, sushi, brown, quinoa, puffed kamut
• Multigrain cereal
• Legumes: refried beans, peas, garbanzo beans, lentils, green beans
• Pho noodles
• Butter & olive oil
• Fruits: blueberries, papaya, avocado, apple, pear, mango, kiwi
• Yogurt (full fat & Greek style)
• Cheese: cottage, Laughing Cow Swiss cheese, cream cheese
• Squash: butternut, zucchini, yellow
• My mom's chicken congee: rice, chicken, lotus seeds, and mung beans
• Spices & flavors: curry, pepper, agave
• Coconut cream
• Hummus
• Bready stuff: bread (w/out nuts or honey in the ingredients list), injera, tortilla
• Asparagus (spears)
• Veggie chips
• Carrots (pureed and whole)
• Cherios
• Mango sorbet!
• Probably lots more that we can't remember

Camille likes variety

I started a food journal for Camille to have a written record of possible reactions she might have to certain foods.  After about three weeks, I got lazy and we just started winging it.  So far, she has shown no signs of adverse reactions to any of the food we have fed her.  Yay!

I make most of Camille's food.  I actually enjoy it!  At night when Camille has already gone to bed, I get out the veggies & whatnot and I do some experimenting.  Mostly, I roast/bake the veggies and then I use an immersion blender to puree the food.  Some foods don't need pureeing, though.  Like bananas, avocado, ripe papaya, congee, etc.

Top to bottom: peas, quinoa, sweet potatoes,
Japanese yams, butternut squash, blueberries

Have you heard of Baby-led Weaning/Baby Led Solids?  It's a simple concept that babies don't need purees.  While purees aren't bad for them, solids that babies pick off of our plates are perfectly fine.  Some of my hesitations about this philosophy are: choking and mess.  Well, first...  If you have a baby, I strongly recommend taking an infant CPR course or at least look up some YouTube videos.  There are lots of things babies can choke on, not just food.

My first concern was quickly dispelled once I observe how Camille eats.  When she eats purees, she just swallows.  When she eats finger foods (even at 6 months old with no teeth), she knows how to negotiate them in her mouth and not swallow large chunks.  She has on occasions gagged (which is different from choking where her airway is compromised) and spat out large chunks of food that she couldn't swallow.  Babies are much smarter than we give them credit for!

My second concern is, well, confirmed! :)  Baby-led solids is really messy.  Especially at the end of the meal when everything ends up on the floor.  It'd be nice to have a dining room where the floor is not carpeted.  But, who cares, we live in an apartment and it's not our carpet anyway, right? ;)  My least favorite thing, though, is getting food out of her massive head of hair!

On the floor: broccoli, zucchini, yellow squash

This has been our meal time routine:

1. I prepare meals for both of us and set them on the table
2. I give thanks for our meal
3. I offer Camille liquids in a sippy cup (either water, expressed milk, or diluted juice).  She never takes milk but she will drink the other stuff.
4. I feed her pureed stuff by spoon.  She has been taking about 2 oz of purees (a standard size baby food jar is 2.5 oz) during each meal.  Sometimes almost 4 oz if she's just really hungry.
   4a - She finishes her pureed foods.
   4b - She makes a poopy face, I take her to the potty, she poops, I change her, and then we're back at the table to finish her purees.
5. Then I offer her the finger foods so she can explore and make a mess.  I take this time to eat my meal.  I will usually share my low-sodium foods with her and she seems to enjoy these foods the best since they're big people food!
6. She throws food on the floor to signal she's done.  I think every kid does this.  How do they learn to signal stop without throwing food on the floor?  I dunno.  But for now, it's okay.
7. I clean up.

Chomping on a banana


Things that I have learned on this journey of transitioning Camille to solids:

• It's messy, messy, messy
• It's totally fun!
• I should wash my hands more often
• I should really wash Camille's hands more often...especially since I'm offering her finger foods
• After a while, convenience trumps BPA/phthalate-free (I use zip lock bags a lot in freezing pureed foods)
• Initially when we first started solids, Camille would nurse more frequently.  So she was getting at least the same amount of milk plus the solids she was taking in.  Slowly, I think she's getting more full with solids and is taking in less milk.  I don't know, though, since I still breastfeed and I am not sure how much she's drinking.
• Camille will usually take a very small bite at first to gauge whether the food is to her liking.  And then she will either open wide for the subsequent spoons...or clamp shut!
• I've never met a kid who doesn't like blueberries
• Camille loves big people foods
• She gains mad manual dexterity skillz due to the fact that she was introduced to finger foods early on
• I should feed her purees and finger foods at separate times.  If she gets purees and chunks of solids in her mouth at the same time, she's more prone to gagging (and possibly choking).
• She will drink when she gets thirsty
• She doesn't get as thirsty enough or drink enough to satisfy her body's needs for liquids.  This is evidenced by really solid poop and concentrated pee.  She's learning to drink more, though (more on this at the end of the post).
• Foods that stain a lot: blueberries, squash, and the #1 stainer...bananas!!
• Having an always-ready source of boiled water (like this thermos) is super useful
• I should never force feed.  Never, ever!  (But I do it all the time.)

Okay...hmm...

I'd like to give an update on Camille's "drinking problem," too.

As you've heard, we went to Seattle Children's Hospital a couple of weeks ago to see a pediatric PT/lactation consultant about Camille's aversion to drinking from any source other than Mommy.  I followed the PT's advice on slowly diluting her pureed foods with my pumped milk and feeding it to her using a small cup at the beginning of each meal.  This added another step to our already lengthy mealtime routine.  This step happened to be the messiest and most frustrating one, too.  Camille would take one sip from the pink nosey cup and that would be it.  No more!  She would turn, shake her head, scream, try to knock the cup over, clamp her mouth shut, spit out the gulp of liquidy food, etc.  It was a battle, to be sure. She even grew an aversion to all pink drinking cups!

So we gave it about 10 days of trying and we stopped the little pink cup trick. 

What I did instead was that I decided to nurse her in the morning and at night, but that I would skip the two nursing sessions in between so that she would have an opportunity to learn how to drink from another source.

The first day, I put pumped milk into a Born Free training sippy cup and offered it to her in lieu of a nursing session after her first nap.  She screamed for about 45 minutes straight.  Lots of tears, snot, and struggles.  She then got to a point where she was so tired, she actually started sucking.  I honestly almost cried because of how miraculous this event was!!  Eventually, she took in about 4 oz.  I couldn't have asked for more!  After she woke up from her second nap, she struggled with me again for about 10-15 minutes and then eventually drank another 5 oz.!

I nursed her that night and the following morning.  Then that was it.  She figured, "Okay, okay.  So, Mommy does give in after a while."  And with that, she has taken in less than 1 oz. of milk at every cup feeding session thereafter!  ARGH!!  Oh, and because she was not drinking enough during the day time, she was waking up at night multiple times to make up for her fluid intake needs.  Double ARGH!!

The reason that I was so adamant about making this transition now was that Chin & I were attending a marriage retreat this past weekend and we left Camille with our friend Kristie all day Saturday.  Kristie tried to give Camille the cup and she barely took half an ounce.  She was obviously thirsty but would refuse to drink.  She was very constipated and her urine was concentrated. *sigh*

On Sunday, we just about had it.  We even borrowed a ThinkBaby Trainer Cup from our friend Chris whose son would only drink from this type of cup.  A big struggle and no milk was consumed.  Seeing our frustration, Pastor Julie from our church told us to drop Camille off at her house after church and she would watch her all afternoon while we go do something relaxing.  We did not skip a beat!  We dropped Camille off with their family and left them with her drinking problem.  Good riddance, stubborn child!

When we returned, nearly four hours later, they said that she slept for over three hours, woke up, and drank some diluted juice from a Take & Toss sippy cup. 

What the WHAT?! 

I guess she just got thirsty enough to drink it.  Pastor Julie also explained that Camille has drank water before and, even though she doesn't have too much of a problem with it, she prefers milk.  But milk has to come from Mommy.  Milk from any other source is an abomination.  Diluted juice, on the other hand, is something new.  Something that she is willing to explore.  Pastor Julie said to give her this diluted juice for a few days and she will learn how to drink from a sippy cup.  Score!

We've been having her drink diluted apple juice out of this cheap sippy cup ever since Sunday and it has been amazing!  I still skipped one nursing session but instead of struggling to give her milk, I just offer her diluted juice.  She takes it just fine, albeit not the same amount she would take if she were nursing.  I have reinstituted the nursing session after her second nap, just to make sure she is getting enough to liquid (and doesn't wake up in the middle of the night!) and to make the transition smoother and less stressful on all of us.

So, that's where we stand.  We still have a ways to go in training Camille to drink milk from a cup.  But maybe Jesus will decide to come back by then and save us the turmoil.

 

"I love playing with my food!!"



Stubborn child

Our child has an eating disorder...and a drinking problem.

From the very beginning, even though she was great at latching and breastfeeding correctly, Camille has never been a good eater.  To boot, she does not know how to get liquids from any source except for...me.  I've already ranted about that here.  These two issues make for a big source of stress for me.  She is getting skinnier and skinnier.  And as I anticipate going back to school next month (yes, next month already!), I feel sad and frustrated at the thought of her not being able to drink from a bottle or a cup.

A good friend of mine (thank you, Caitlin!) suggested pediatric occupational/physical therapy as an option to transition Camille to a bottle or sippy cup.  I made an appointment a few weeks ago and we were able to be seen today at Seattle Children's Hospital!

The person that we saw was Gayle Bonato, MPH, PT, IBCLC OT/PT (yep, a full bowl of alphabet soup after her name!).  She was so personable and I felt like I could trust her right away.

First thing she said was, "I just reviewed your file (showed me the file and exactly what was written) and, I gotta say, I'm a little scared of your girl."

She should be!

I discussed what I've tried:

• Bottles/nipples (slow & fast flows): Dr Brown, Avent, Born Free, Tommee Tippee, Green to Grow, and some other random brands.
• Pacifiers: Born Free, Playtex, Nuk, Gerber, Soothie, and I'm sure a few more brands.  
• Sippy cups: Born Free training cup, Nuby sippy cup, Playtex Disney Princess sippy cup, Tommee Tippee Explora water bottle, and the Ikea Smaska training cup.  
• Little shot glasses to big tall grown-up glasses.

I have had success with none of these.

Don't be fooled, friends. She's only playing with the bottle.

Gayle asked a few more questions about breastfeeding and solids and my expectations.  She established that my concerns (and goals) are:

1. Camille not [effectively] taking fluids from any source except for me.  Goal: For her to take fluids from a bottle or cup before I go back to school.
2. Camille not gaining a lot of weight (this is a much smaller concern).  Goal: Fatten the girl up!

Then we jumped straight into "let's try out some things" mode.

We put Camille in a high chair.  Gayle diluted the pureed food with my expressed milk - half and half - and she started feeding it to Camille with a spoon.  She took it okay.  Then Gayle tried feeding her from a flexible soft cup.

"Wait, wait...what are you trying to do?!"

The cup looks something like this:

"Flexi-cut nosy cups"

See? It's flexy!  For easy feeding.

Camille was moderately hungry so she took it very well.  Gayle was amazing at taking all the tiny windows of opportunities when Camille would be open to drinking/eating!  She gave me great pointers on how to look for these opportunities.

"Hmm...not bad."

And then after about 5 minutes and a lot of tactics to keep her interested...

"Um, so, where's the boob?"

And then melt down.

So I nursed her and everything was better.

Before I started nursing her, though, I wiped Camille's face and she expressed that she did not like that.  Gayle asked me if she hates getting her face wiped.  I said yes.  She asked if Camille hates getting water on her face.  I said yes!  She then told me that this was not uncommon in babies, but it isn't typical.  (What?  Is it really?  I thought all kids hate water in their face.)  She recommended a few things to distract Camille and train her to be better at having water run down her face.

Anyhow, at the end of the visit, we established these objectives:

1. Gradually diluted the solids that we are currently feeding Camille with expressed milk.  We will eventually get to the point where it's just expressed milk.  Do this almost immediately after I breastfeed her.  After she's had her fluid, everything is fair game.  She can have her solids in varying consistencies (e.g., thick purees, finger foods, etc.).  This is because Gayle noticed that after she has been given something solid, she is no longer interested in going for fluids.  
2. Adding formula and/or oil and/or butter to Camille's feeds.  This will enrich the expressed milk and fatten up her meals.  She also gave me some handouts of foods that are dense in calories.

Gayle will call me in two weeks to check in.  She gave me a couple of the flexi-cut nosy cups, a couple of spoons, and an Avent Feeding Bottle Set (because I like "free" stuff!).

I felt very good about this visit.  I feel like there is a lot of work to be done.  More pumping, more mess, more stubbornness from Camille.  But hopefully it will all be worth it!

Stay tuned for updates in a couple of weeks...