Chestnut Week 38

Last pregnancy picture w/Marcus?

Today is the last day of week 39 (I know, I think I'm a week off with numbering these posts somehow). Tomorrow starts the lasssst week of this pregnancy, week 40. This kid's lease is up. I've begun the eviction process. Lots of stairs. Lots of squats. Lots of bouncing on the exercise ball. Son, you are coming out!!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the size of a pumpkin - ~20 inches and weight, again, could range from 6.1 - 9.2 pounds.
• Baby might have an inch or so of hair already. Lanugo (the soft down), which covered the body throughout the pregnancy, is now disappearing.
• The body fat is continuing to build up, baby putting on about 1oz (28 grams) a day.
• The wrinkled skin is becoming 'baby' smooth.
• Baby is getting his antibodies from mom to protect against illness. Baby's growth is slowing, but fat cells under skin get plumper for life outside the womb.
• Lungs are just about fully developed.
• The baby may have reached its final birth position. Most babies are born head first with only about 3 percent coming out feet first.
• Mom may begin to feel electrical buzzes down her legs and inside her vagina. This is caused from the baby hitting nerves as he settles into the pelvis.

Physical:

• Weight: 150 lb (+37) ... Howwwww did this happen?!
• Belly circumference: 42.75 in (+14.25)
• Fundal height: 35 cm
• Dilation: 3.5 cm (was 4 cm last week)
• Effacement: 70% (was 90% last week)
• Station: +0 (was +1 last week) Sheesh! I regressed?!?!
• Midwife's estimate of baby's weight: close to 8 pounds if not over
• Baby's head: engaged and ready to go...and has been for some time now!
• Mucus plug: still no sign of Danny Tanner...not that it's always necessary for DT to appear prior to onset of labor.
• Leaking fluids: none 
• Cervical position: still posterior
• Some changes this week: more breast tenderness, more hip pain, contractions are a little bit more painful (but not regular at all).
• Hip pain is even worse this week. Although as long as I keep moving, it's not too bad. It's just when I've been immobile for a while (sleeping), it's excruciatingly painful to start moving again. One of the midwives in the group (Judy Lowe), one I respect very much, even suggested that I go for an epidural to mitigate the extreme hip pain. I said that I had the same kind of pain with Camille and [unmedicated] labor was fine for me. Hopefully that'll be true this time around with a much larger baby!
• For the past 2-3 weeks now, I've been getting this shooting nerve pain (kind of like a Charlie horse feel) radiating down the lateral sides of my legs whenever I need to pass a turd (totally technical medical term, honestly). Ouch!
• One observation I've made about all the tips on how to bring on labor: spicy food does not work for me; it only gives me a lot of gas.
• A highlight of this week was my first prenatal massage yesterday! I went to Wellness One in Bellevue with a 60-minute massage gift certificate I got for $20 through a high school fundraiser. The massage was fantastic! I even asked the masseur to press on the pressure points that would offset labor :P He said I was going to give birth within one week but not within the next couple of days. He said I didn't have that "glow." We'll see!
• Next week, if Marcus still hasn't arrived yet, they will offer to induce me if I'd like since my last time laboring was precipitous. They would do this first by stripping my membrane and then give me pitocin if that's necessary. I'm not at all keen on these interventions...but we'll see how I feel about things next week. :P

Spiritual & emotional:

• Even though I logically understand that the longer Marcus stays in, the better developed he will be, the better chances he would have of being a good eater and sleeper, etc....It doesn't change the fact that my heart is tender after all the anticipation.
• Now, I would like to emote a little about all these "false alarms." I feel cruddy about them. All three times, they occurred in the middle of the night. This meant no sleep for Chin & me. We're tired. So thankfully, no false alarms this week! Honestly, there is definitely an element of embarrassment. Moms who've experienced false alarms may not admit to it, but I will: I felt embarrassed to have misjudged false labor for true labor. "Don't you know your own body?" "You've done this before, don't you remember what it felt like?" "You were probably not in that much pain, right? How much of a wuss would you have to be to mistake Braxton Hicks contractions for real labor?" These are not questions anyone asked me (not even Chung, my brother-in-law who is infamous for not having a filter between brain & mouth). These are questions I have asked myself.
• I'm pretty much done with having to sit on towels everyday (in case my water breaks). I would like to have all my towels back for the typical purpose of showering. Sheesh!

Chestnut Week 37

Maybe this is my last
pregnant picture?...

An eventful week, but alas, no baby yet! I can't believe I've made it this far. Onto week 38!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the size of a winter squash - ~19.1 inches and weight could range from 6.1 - 9.2 pounds. 
• He is official full term now, but can still benefit from extra days in the womb. 
• Baby continues to practice breathing movements. 
• At 37 weeks of pregnancy, grasp is firm. 
• A few weeks ago, your baby would move his eyes toward light. Now he turns towards light outside the uterus. 
• The lanugo is gone except on the upper arms and shoulders. 
• Fingernails extend beyond fingertips. 
• Small breast buds are present on both sexes. 
• Head hair is now coarse and thickest. 

Physical: 

Chin snoring away on the hospital triage bed (in my place).
The nurse threatened to check his cervix.

• Weight: 144 lb (+31) 
• Belly circumference: 42.25 in (+13.75) 
• Dilation: 4 cm 
• Effacement: 90% 
• Station: +1 
• Midwife's estimate of baby's weight: between 7 and 7.5 pounds 
• Baby's head: engaged and ready to go 
• Mucus plug: still no sign of Danny Tanner yet 
• Leaking fluids: none 
• Cervical position: posterior (needs to move anterior before baby is born; but the move from posterior to anterior could take place in a matter of minutes) 
• Number of false alarms (trips to the hospital) so far: 3. THREE!! 
• Tara, our friend and trusty doula, came over for a visit on Tuesday. Tara recently earned her Master's in Nurse Midwifery from the UW! We're kind of getting away with murder having secured her as our doula. :) So when she was over on Tuesday, I asked her to check me to see how I was doing and at that point (yes, a bit beyond her scope of practice as a doula...but definitely not as a nurse!), I was 3cm dilated, 90% effaced, and at station +1. She even showed me how to check myself. I got to feel Marcus's head. He has a lot of hair! 
• After the 3 false alarms, I am pretty tired. They all happened in the middle of the night and they all resulted in sleepless nights. I'm so tired and I want to sleep all the time. Except I can't. My hip pain has worsened and I can only sleep a few hours at a time. :( 
• I got 2 fleets enema at the hospital on Wednesday morning and they were totally awesome. I am not kidding. 

Spiritual & emotional: 

• Everyday, I keep rationalizing that, "This is the day!" On Sunday, he would have been a Father's Day baby...which would have been a beautiful gift for BaBa and the grandfathers. On Monday, it would have been perfect for Marcus to come out because my new MacBook Pro arrived that day (in Portland). On Tuesday...well, I actually didn't want him to come out Tuesday because 8/19 was Penelope's birthday and I wanted her to have her own day. On Wednesday, I really hoped he would have made an appearance that day because (1) I had walked a ton the day before, (2) it was the first day of Summer, (3) I had a parking ticket that was "pardoned," and (4) it was just a beautiful day. On Thursday, again, I didn't want him to come out because 8/21 is Chin's birthday and Marcus needs his own day. Today, it would be nice for him to come out since family could come up to see him this weekend. Also, because I'm tired of being pregnant. 
• I talked to Tara earlier this week that all the things I thought would happen for labor this time based on my knowledge of labor last time have not come true at all. From the contractions to the lost of mucus plug to the feeling of impending labor to the many false alarms. Tara commented that Marcus is his own person and he wants that to be established right at this point. He is definitely his own person. :)
• After returning home from our third false alarm and taking a long nap, I woke up feeling so crummy. "I am so done being pregnant!" This pregnancy has been hard for me from the beginning to end. Yes, I am totally complaining! I was full of disappointment and frustration. I had been contracting for over 2.5 weeks with contractions that were painful enough to cause sleepless nights and general discomfort, but not enough to be productive. My hips are hurting so bad that I have a difficult time moving around. (If you've seen me recently and thought, "Hey, I think Bao was moving around just fine." It's because I was trying hard not to worry you.) Later that evening, Chin and I had a difficult talk. I asked him whether my hip pain went away soon after giving birth to Camille. He responded with a long explanation of how I did not bounce back very gracefully and was a total bitch during the postpartum period. Wow, really Dude? I totally did not ask about that. I even had sex with you tonight, Insensitive Jackass! So, I decided to throw myself a pity party and go take a hot bath. Surprisingly (or perhaps I shouldn't be surprised), God really met me in that dark place. I had a candid conversation with Him about guilt, needing forgiveness, desire to be restored, and all my hopes for Marcus. I felt so refreshed after that. In the morning, I asked Chin for forgiveness in the ways that I was being critical of him during my postpartum period (if you've heard me talk about my relationship with Chin, you may know that I rarely ever apologize). I also confessed a number of sins in my life to him and asked him for forgiveness, too. It was good. It felt really good to have that conversation. I felt like a huge load got lifted from my chest. I think I'm ready to have this baby.

Room is ready for you, son!

Ah!  Camille was born at the beginning of Week 37 so there's no more comparison. :)

See how nice things look when we clean the house?!

As I have mentioned before, I am addicted to Pinterest.

And I am pretty sure that there is a theorem that goes something like this:

pinterest + nesting hormones = insanity

While on bed rest, I was on Pinterest all the freakin' time.  Trying to imagine how much nicer our house would look.  Drooling over recipes that always tend to include avocado.  Admiring opulent pictures of beautifully-lit settings.  Planning my escape from the reality of unfolded laundry, a wacko painter who really didn't do a great job in painting our house (and being on bed rest, I saw every flaw in the paint!!), active toddler who needed my care, a giant belly that would probably hinder the work required to do any of these Pinterest projects, and, oh yeah, threatened preterm labor.

But reality didn't matter to me.  My nesting hormones won.

Without further ado, I want to introduce you to the makeover of the kids' room. It's Camille's room for now, but Marcus will eventually move in here when we're sick of him being a jerk baby and not sleeping.

(Sorry, no "before" pictures. That would be gross. You might barf.)

Beautiful corner

Now let's move onto my proudest part of the room - the part with the mobile!

Closer view of the mobile

See how beautiful it is?  It was inspired by this.  Kind of.  And this.  Kind of.  I used a 48" dowel that I found left on our porch by the previous owner, hacked it in half with a saw (it's tricky to use a saw when one is 36 weeks pregnant), made grooves so the two pieces fit together as an "X", used twine to tie them together, hang one arm of the X (close to the center) onto a question mark ceiling hook, and then hanged the pieces off of that X.

Now, let's go through this mobile piece by piece.

Big ass ball

This globe-shaped lantern was given to Camille by our friends Dave & Quan's family.  It's so beautiful and I'd been meaning to put it up in her room.  This piece served as the center of the mobile simply because of its size and the fact that it's so colorful.  Cost = $0.

Three stars

At the bottom of the big ass globe, I made three stars using this tutorial.  Super easy!  I suspended them in varying heights with fishing lines. Cost = $0 (paper printed from library...hehehe).

Rain drop lantern

I really dig this rain drop lantern.  I'd been wanting to go to Daiso to look for lanterns for a long time.  Every time I was close to a Daiso, however, something would come up and I would end up not going.  This happened at least 4 times this past month.  Well, Chin finally took me there on Monday and I went a little nuts (even so, I only ended up spending $12)!  I got this plain white lantern that is shaped like a water drop.  I then cut up pieces of tissue paper with colors ranging from green to aqua to turquoise to mint to blue (okay, I made up some of those color names).  I cut them up in the shape of rain drops and varied the sizes.  I pasted them on with Mod Podge, more dense at the top and sparse toward the bottom of the lantern.  It was a little tricky doing this with Camille running around and wanting to touch the Mod Podge, but it didn't take very long.  It was actually very therapeutic!  So, there you have it.  Cost = $1.50 for the lantern, $0 for the Mod Podge (I got it for free from the King County Household Hazardous Waste program a few years ago), and $0 for the tissue paper (since I saved them from gifts!) = $1.50.

Another Daiso beauty

In addition to the rain drop lantern, I got another plain white lantern that is shaped kind of like a bee hive...just to make things interesting.  I saw this idea and knew that I wanted to do this to add some fun colors to the kids' room.  I don't have a sewing machine and I can't sew to save my life.  So instead of using fabric, I used scrapbooking paper.  Oh! You know how pretty paper can be expensive?  Yes?  So what I do is I look up images of pretty paper and fabric patterns and I go to a King County library to print them out in color!  Did you know that you can now print out 25 sheets of laser color prints per week?  Mad tax money at work, yo!  So, I cut the pretty paper into small triangles (it's okay if they're not all exactly the same size...but I am kind of perfect so they did end up being approximately the same).  I pasted the wide edge of the triangles on using Mod Podge and I spaced them apart consistently.  It's not a science.  I just eye-balled it...just as I eye-balled the twisting pattern of the bunting banner.  After the triangles were pasted on, I was like, "Dang, I wish I had a blue-ish ribbon."  I didn't.  So I just cut up some scrapbooking paper and made the bunting "string."  Pretty, right?!  Cost = $1.50 for the lantern, maaaaybe 50 cents for all the paper, and $0 for the Mod Podge = $2.

Blue lantern

I did nothing to this blue lantern.  I just thought that the cylinder would add an interesting shape to the mobile.  Since everything else was so busy, I decided to leave this little guy alone.  Cost = $1.50, another Daiso gem.

Put. A. Bird. On. It.

And then add another bird

I could not leave this last Daiso lantern alone.  This brown rectangular lantern is in the front of the mobile to juxtapose all the rounded shapes...and I wanted to put a few birds on it to remind our children of their Portland roots.  I originally wanted to make 4 birds, one in the center of each panel.  Then my sister GT talked some sense into my demented, hormone-raging life.  She suggested that I stuck to two birds, on two opposing panels, and at two opposing corners.  Brilliant!  Like the other lanterns, I also decorated this one while Camille was awake.  A little tricky but not impossible...if we use our third parent: Netflix. Cost = $1.50 and maybe another 50 cents for the paper = $2.

Paper fan wheel

Simple paper fan wheel I made with the help of this nice tutorial. Cost = $0 (printed this Amy Butler fabric design at the library!).

And finally, this yellow pom pom!  I made it with two tones of yellow tissue paper purchased from Tuesday Morning and with the help of this concise DIY tutorial.  I used less than 1/2 from each of the 8-sheet packages. I made this while Camille was napping and just had a pleasant conversation with my sister.  It was nice.  Cost = $1.

That's it for the mobile.  To tally up the cost, it's $8!  But with lots of love and effort. :)

Let's move onto other parts of the room...

Curtain, complete with back-tie

My sister Gia-Mien was up here a few weeks ago with her fancy sewing machine (did you know that  some sewing machines could cost $3K?!) and she was on a mission to make a black-out curtain for the kids' room. We got the yellow fabric from Ikea and the black-out material from Joann's.  It was nice that it was Memorial Day weekend and everything was on sale. :) My sister is uber talented with crafty things and she managed to make everything in half a day...while wrangling two toddlers and making food for everyone!

To be honest, I can't remember how much the curtain costs.  But I think it was close to $45.  I think that's expensive...but it is a one-of-a-kind that's made with a ton of love!

Yellow pillow

To add to the yellow theme, I got Camille this pillow case from Goodwill.  It's just cute.  Cost = $1.

Ribbon bulletin board

This pretty purple picture board (aka a ribbon bulletin board, as I was told) was made and given to me by a sweet co-worker from my Public Health days.  We put it up in the office of our Seattle house but when we moved, it never got put up again.  I think this is a perfect spot for it.  I plan to put up pictures of extended family on here so that the kids will get to know their relatives who don't live in town.  Cost = $0.

Dear husband supporting my Pinterest obsession

Chin has been very supportive of this whole re-organization/makeover process.

Camille's collection of books

I saw this idea on Pinterest and I really wanted put something like this up to keep Camille's books all gathered together.  These Ikea-spice-rack-turned-book-holders can hold a surprisingly large number of books!  Now her bedtime books can all fit into these racks and not strewn all over the room.  Nice!  Cost = $4 x 2 = $8.

If you look closely, you can see a
rock Camille found the other day.

We got this white shelf from Goodwill back when we were living in Seattle.  It was removed from the Seattle house when we moved out but we never put it back up again...until now.  I love that it's both fanciful and functional. It provides a perfect shelf to display little trinkets like that Curious George wind-up clock I got for Chin at a little store in Harvard Square in the summer of 1999, when he still found me as annoying as that alarm clock. :)  And see that precious little bag with Camille's name embroidered on it?  I won it online back when I was obsessed with giveaways.  Cute, yeah?! Cost = $5 for the shelf (50% off at Goodwill).

Camille's dresser

This beautiful 8-drawer Hemnes dresser from Ikea has served us very well ever since we got it from Craigslist just before Camille's birth.  This is not a new piece, but the color and design of this dresser really holds the look of the room together.

Pale yellow quilt with white flowers

This was our queen-size bed before we upgraded to our fabulous king-size.  All the bedding was from our old room except for this lovely pale yellow quilt I found at Goodwill.  I love how soft it is...and it doesn't hurt that it is beautiful, too! Cost = $15 for the quilt.

Thomas!

This Thomas the Train pillow totally sticks out like a sore thumb in this room.  But it was made by my sister, Gia-Mien.  She made one for Camille and an identical one for her son Donovan.  Camille likes it because it has a choo-choo train. :)  Cost = $0 for me!

You don't want to know what's inside

Finally, the closet.  Behind those doors are just about everything that's messy and insane about this room!  Looks nice from the outside, though, don't it? ;)

Now here's the view of the nicest angle of the room...

Tada!

I really like this room now.

Yesterday when I was taking some of these pictures, Chin commented that this room feels so much more comfortable now.  He even used the word "idyllic" to describe the ambiance.

I would use the word "clean."  But, you know, whatever.

Chestnut Week 36

Sorry 'bout the crazy eyes

I'm still here! Baby's still in my belly!

This week, I've still been mostly in bed.  I got out to run a few errands on Tuesday...and I really paid for it.  Early Wednesday morning, I started contracting and the contractions came about 3 minutes apart.  Pretty strong ones, too.  Chin woke up when he heard me breathing through the contractions. I said, "I think maybe Marcus is coming tonight."  We called our doula Tara and headed off to the hospital at 3am (my sister GT was home with Camille).  Of course, when we got there, the contractions wimped out and it was not true labor.  BAH! 

The midwife on duty (one I hadn't met before) did check me and she thought that baby was close to coming...maybe within 24 hours.  Chin, Tara, and I all independently and unanimously disagreed with her prediction. Evidently, she was incorrect!

Tomorrow, I will be 37 weeks pregnant.  I gave birth to Camille at 37 weeks exactly, the equivalent of tomorrow at 5:13am.  At 5:14am tomorrow, we will enter into unchartered territory.  I'm just going to keep growing this big, fat, wiggly baby until he's ready to come out. :)

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is size of a crenshaw melon - ~18.66 inches and 5.78 pounds.
• The baby's body is becoming chubby as fat layers build.
• In general, babies are gaining half a pound (225 grams) per week...or about an ounce (30g) a day. Baby continues gaining weight as fat deposits and is forming creases in the neck and wrists.
• You may feel contractions of the womb, called Braxton Hicks contractions, which can be used to perform and practice breathing exercises. You may be visiting your caregiver weekly up until the birth. Regular internal exams may begin, to see if your cervix has softened, thinned, dilated or if your baby's head is dropping into the pelvis. Any of these could be signs of impending labor but there are no guarantees and you could be waiting for weeks yet. Your baby is almost ready, a pair of kidneys and the liver has begun processing some waste products, the only organ still to mature is the lungs. 
• This week your baby may drop into the birth canal, this is called 'lightening' or 'dropping'. If this is not your first baby, this 'lightening' may not occur until right before labor. Your care provider may refer to it by saying that your baby is now 'engaged'. The majority of babies are now in the birth position, either head down (vertex) or butt down (breech), most will maintain this position until birth. Any movements that they make are more likely to be rolls from side to side.You may notice when this happens because it will suddenly become much easier for you to breathe. While breathing becomes easier, walking may be the exact opposite. If your baby has dropped you may find yourself visiting the bathroom much more often as baby is resting right on top of your bladder again.
• Keep talking - by now he can recognize you voice, and may respond to any loud noises with a swift kick out.

Physical:

• Weight: 144 lb (+31)
• Belly circumference: 42.0 in (+13.5)
• Dilation: 2 (from Wednesday morning)
• Effacement: 90% (from Wednesday morning)
• Station: 0 (from Wednesday morning...although he was at +1 last time I was checked)
• Baby's head: engaged and ready to go
• Mucus plug: no sign of Danny Tanner yet. (As explained before, when you type "mucus plug" into Google Images, amazingly a picture of Bob Saget pops up!)
• I feel like a whale.  So, so heavy.  I'm carrying all the weight out in front, so my back is really paying for it if I stand for any longer than a few minutes.
• Sleeping has been okay.  Although there was only one night this past week when I could sleep for 6 consecutive hours.
• The skin on my belly is just hanging on for dear life.  This kid is growing beyond what I've ever experienced!

Spiritual & emotional:

• This week, I've been having to remind myself to trust my instincts.  I remember that with regards to childbirth, I often regret not listening to my intuition more.  I think it's always a good reminder to stay in-tuned with one's body and mind.
• I finally got to finish some projects around the house and it feels great!  (See the pictures of Camille's room below.)
• In counseling this week, we talked about my pattern of feeling overwhelmed, shutting down, wanting to run away, and being overly critical of myself and others (yes, that's a lot to talk about).  I feel like I'm getting a lot out of my counseling sessions and I'm starting to discover the things that have been inhibiting me from living a fuller life.  Hopefully I will know how to actually incorporate these lessons into day-to-day living!
• I [not-so-secretly] wish that my water would break somewhere cool and interesting this time.

I'm so proud of this re-organization effort for the kids' room! And notice that Camille is now in a toddler bed!

More details to come on the mobile & the room re-design...

Click here to see the comparison to my pregnancy with Camille (MacNut) at the same gestational age.

Chestnut Week 35

A manageable haircut

Oy!  This week has been long! :)

As I mentioned in the last post, last week and the beginning of this week (Saturday) made up my Spa/Treat Yo'self Week.  After my pedicure last week, I was told I needed to take it easy because baby looked like he was going to come soon.  After my haircut on Saturday, I had a series of contractions that wouldn't let up and my midwife told me I basically needed to be on bed rest.  I wrote about that here.  

I am actually adherent this time!

I've been in bed ever since early Sunday morning when we came home from the hospital.  Even though I had to miss out on a number of exciting events (church pot luck, a surprise baby shower thrown for me by my thoughtful classmates, etc.), I am thankful that my professor let me take the in-class final exam at home, I'm surrounded by helpful family members like my sister GT & Chin's mom, and I have an amazing husband who will even indulge in some of my crazy Pinterest endeavors!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the heft of a honeydew melon - ~18.19 inches and 5.25 pounds.
• The body of your baby is growing round due to developing fat layers. Most babies gain about half pound per week in the last month of pregnancy. Fat stores accumulate in the legs and arms. These layers of fat will help them regulate his body temperature. Baby still doesn't have enough fat deposits beneath his skin to keep warm outside your womb.
• Lungs are almost fully developed. Baby's reflexes are coordinated, he turns his head, grasp firmly, and respond to sounds, light and touch. You should still feel movement every day. He is about 5 and a half pounds and growing fast, it is getting short of space in the womb.
• Your uterus has become more cramped, your baby's kicks and other movements less forceful. You may want to check on your baby's movements from time to time and do a kick count.
• Baby may push up against your ribs and make you a little breathless. Soon your baby's position changes to prepare itself for labor and delivery. The baby drops down in your pelvis ("lightening") and you will be able to breathe easily again. (Ha! This has definitely already happened a couple of weeks back.  I can't say I'm breathing any easier, though.) 

Physical:

• Weight: 143 lb (+30) ... I lost 3 pounds since last week
• Belly circumference: 41.75 in (+13.25)
• Fundal height: 34 cm
• Dilation: 2 (from Sunday morning)
• Effacement: 70% (from Sunday morning)
• Station: +1 (from Sunday morning)
• Judy's estimate of baby's weight: over 6.5 pounds! (from Wednesday afternoon)
• Baby's position: LOP...sunny side up.  Read more about this position here.
• I know some of you must be curious about why I tend to have threatened preterm labor.  No, it's not because of racism.  The explanation that I have been given is that because I was induced to give birth to Penelope at 22 weeks (with misoprostol and laminaria sticks), my body somehow remembers that experience and starts to go into labor before term.  I don't know if that's what it is, but I seem to be baking these children mightily quick!
• I discovered just last night that my pelvic pain has improved quite a bit, surprisingly!  I would normally be in exquisite pain for the first few steps out of bed in the morning, but I'm not experiencing that piercing pain so much anymore.  I find that I can do some of my PT exercises much more comfortably now.  Baby must have just moved into a different position.
• I have been having trouble sleeping, though.  No problem going to sleep.  I would just wake up at insane hours (like 1:30am or 5am) and am unable to go back to sleep.  And if you say, "Aww, you're just getting practice for when baby comes!" I'd better not hear you say that because I...will...RAGE!
• Stretch marks.  Probably the least of my concerns right now.  But they're there.  They're new.  They're angry-looking.

Spiritual & emotional:

• I finished my supposed-to-be-in-class final at home on Monday.  I had two online finals that were due on Thursday and Friday...but I really wanted to get them out of the way in case Marcus decided to come early.  So I did them both on Tuesday.  They took nearly 5.5 hours to complete.  My brain was fried!  But by midnight early Wednesday morning, I celebrated that I was completely finished with all academic obligations!  Felt very good!
• Now what?  I'm just chilling in bed most of the time, staring at our utterly messy bedroom.  My mind running wild with things on the to-do list.  Hoping that if I could keep my mind preoccupied with something, Marcus would think, "Maybe it's not time to come out yet."  That's my hope :)
• I'm bored.  And sometimes, I just want to go to my happy place.  My happy places right now are: Goodwill (the Seattle one, Bellevue one sucks), Daiso, and Samurai Noodle.  Or my parents' living room...because it's next to the kitchen where my mom can always be found, cooking up something amazing!
• Counseling update: I've gone to the counselor three times now and it has been very good. At first, I thought the therapist was a bit distant and cold. But I have come to appreciate her communication style. She has warmed up quite a bit. The first session with her was a bit chaotic since I had Camille with me. She was well-behaved, but I was distracted with her in the room...and I wanted to maintain composed for her (Camille). I was tearful for many parts of that first meeting, and the counselor didn't hand me a tissue box or anything. That's weird, right? Anyway, I thought that there was some emotional disconnect there. She's a bit more logical and less "listeny" for my taste. But I went back for the second and third time to see if it was any different. And it was! She was more of an attentive listener the second time around. She offered less advice and just listened. She seemed warmer in general, too. I didn't cry at all during the second or third sessions. I am in a better state of emotional health. I think most of that was due to the fact that I've been getting non-stop childcare from Chin's mom & my sister GT!
• Normally, I find myself reading Camille's birth story about once a month.  Lately, I've been reading it every other day :P  I love it!

Click here to see the comparison to my pregnancy with Camille (MacNut) at the same gestational age.

Coming to terms with not going to term

I need to do it.

I just need to wrap my head around the fact that I am not going to carry Marcus (Baby Chestnut) to full term.

I am disappointed and frustrated.  That's normal, right?

Last night around midnight, I was trying to take it easy just laying on the futon and pretending to review some material for my upcoming finals when a series of frequent contractions hit me.  They started out as been about 10 minutes apart.  And then they got closer and closer together, averaging about 5 minutes apart (some were 3).  In addition, a new symptom arose: deep sacral pressure.  The contractions weren't painful, just a little uncomfortable.  Before I went through childbirth, I would have ranked them 4 or 5/10 on a pain scale.  After childbirth, 2/10. Yes, M'am, knowing what a 10/10 pain is definitely shifts one's perspective!

I thought about it and thought about it.  Finally, I called the Family Beginnings Unit to ask if I should come in.  After answering a few questions (contractions getting more frequent & painful, no leaking fluids, no change in discharge, lots of fetal movements, etc.) they decided I should definitely come in.  The triage nurse said, "I'm seeing in the chart here that the last time you labored, it was only for 1.5 hours.  So...yes, please come in now!"

Then I still debated on whether to come in.  Now contractions were consistently under 5 minutes apart.  At around 3am, I asked Chin to drive me in to Seattle.

SR-520 is closed this weekend for construction so we had to take the long route to the hospital. *shakes fist* There, they monitored me for what seemed like an eternity, checked my cervix, and took a sample of urine just in case some hidden infection is causing all this preterm labor ruckus.  What they gathered was:

• My contractions slowed down to 5-7 minutes apart, but that was still frequent enough for them to be concerned about impending true labor.
• Dilation: 2
• Effacement: 70%
• Station: +1 (which explains the sacral pressure)

Camille was born at exactly 37 weeks (term).  I am currently at 35 weeks and 1 day.  The midwife who was there last night does not think that Marcus will make it to 37 weeks.  She predicts that he will be here by the end of this coming week.

She also gave us some good advice about coming to terms with the things that aren't ideal in this scenario:

• SR-520 is closed until Monday morning. That means we need to find alternate routes if things progress quickly before the weekend is over.
• Our trusty friend & doula, Tara, will be out of town until Thursday evening. No working around that :(
• If labor seems to be progressing quickly and/or traffic looks dismal, we need to get to Overlake Hospital (less than 2 miles from our house).
• I need to stay off my feet (or, rather, keep baby off my cervix) to hopefully increase my chances of keeping Marcus in for as long as possible. That means not being able to make it to church today (a huge disappointment because there is a pot luck today...and there ain't no pot luck like an RAC pot luck cuz and RAC pot luck don't stop!), possibly not being able to make it to my final on campus tomorrow, no play date for Lauren & Camille on Thursday, no traveling to Oregon to work on doing a surprise makeover of my sister's sewing room, no class reunion with my beloved MEPN friends next weekend, and no going to Lucky Buffet with the Ng cousins to celebrate Father's Day.
• Finally, if he arrives before 37 weeks (which is very likely at this point), he may be tiny, he may need to stay in the hospital longer, he may not be a good feeder, he may not have awesome lungs, etc.  Little boy...I really hope he stays in longer.

I mentioned this in my last post, but I am not done nesting, dangit!!

There are lots of things I still need/want to do around the house:

sort all the hand-me-downs for Marcus

somehow turn our dark gray bedroom into this serene oasis

attach the co-sleeper to our bed

do this for the little nook in our bedroom where
Marcus's mini crib will eventually go

do this thingamajig for the kids' room

and this funky idea with the Ikea-spice-rack-turned-bookcase

make & put up curtains in our living room

do this photo collage thing that I've been
meaning to do for months

And I still need to finish my Father's Day project for Chin, too. :-/

Have I already mentioned that Pinterest is slowly ruining my life?! It gives me the illusion that I can sew, do crafty carpentry, know how to cleverly organize all my crap, and live in a region where the sun perpetually shines. And I'm like, "Yeah, my house can totally look like that!" Sad.

Anyway, that's my rant.  I just need to get over it.  Get my poop in a group.  Finish this flippin' academic quarter.  And get physically/emotionally/spiritually ready for Marcus's early arrival.

It's disappointing, exciting, scary, frustrating, and wonderful.

Chestnut Week 34

Might be one of my
last pregnant pictures
with Chestnut!

This week started out with an amazing piece of news: I don't have to be on campus at all this summer quarter!  I was supposed to have a 1-credit course that would require commuting to campus for one hour, one day each week.  This obviously was not ideal.  The faculty decided to move this course to the Fall quarter (where I needed an extra credit anyway).  So this means that once I complete my Spring quarter on June 4th, I will not have to be on campus again until September 27th!  Woohoo!!

We've been having a train of family come through our house this past week.  It started off with dropping off my sister GT at the airport for her 40th birthday cruise.  Then it was my oldest sister Gia-Mien's family that came up to visit for the weekend.  We went shopping at Ikea with the kids and Chi Mien helped me put together a curtain (with blackout lining) in Camille's room...from scratch!  She is amazingly talented. 

Shopping at Ikea with cousin Donovan

After Chi Mien's family left, Chin's mom came to help us with Camille.  I am SO thankful for her being here this week.  With her staying with us, I can go to class instead of having to watch streamed lectures online (which I am rarely ever motivated to do), she keeps the house neat and clean, Camille has someone else to "play" with, and Chin & I can take it easy in the evening times, too.  Thanks, Mom!

This week is also "Treat Yo'self Week" in Bao-world!  I had a manicure with my buddy Emily, went out for a late night snack at Jack-in-the-Box with Chin, had a counseling session sans toddler today, and to top it all off, a haircut tomorrow at Salon 7 in Bellevue!

My first pedicure ever!

Thanks for sharing your gift certificate, EML!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the weight of a cantaloupe - ~17.72 inches and 4.73 pounds.
• Baby now has an excellent chance of survival outside the womb.
• Fat accumulations plumps up the arms and legs this week.
• Eyes opened when awake and closed when sleeping.
• The fingernails are now completely formed.
• Baby may have already turned to a head down position in preparation for birth (yes he is!).
• The skull bones are still pretty flexible and not completely joined to help to ease exit out of the narrow birth canal. 
• The baby's skin is also becoming less wrinkled.
• Thanks to antibodies crossing the placenta the baby is developing immunities to mild infections. 

Physical:

• Weight: 147 lb (+34)
• Belly circumference: 41 in (+12.5) ... hmm ... I shrunk!
• Dilation: 1-2 cm
• Cervix: Soft, but not too squishy; length is "decent"
• Station: -1
• Fundal height: 31 (he's definitely dropped his little head down there!)
• Estimated weight of baby: 5.5 pounds
• Midwife's prediction (Judy Lowe): 2 - 2.5 weeks until Marcus is born.  She was spot on with Camille!
• Recommendation: Take it reeeeeally easy for the next couple of weeks.  Lay on couch and do nothing, basically.  Judy said to even limit my walking.  Yikes!
• I have a contraction every time I get out of bed or get up from a chair.  I also get contractions walking to the bus stop if I am walking at a slightly brisk pace.  So I have to walk a little gingerly to make sure that I don't contract too much.
• Cankles!  They have returned with the warm weather and being on my feet a lot this weekend.  Definitely not as bad as they were with Camile, but they're there.  Poofy! 
• Yesterday was a long day: left home at 7:50 and didn't get back home 'til about 6:50. It was a long day at school with a 30-minute lunch break.  Good thing it was the last day of classes (I have an in-class final on Monday)! And I'm not sure whether it was because it was a long & tiring day, but I just had no appetite yesterday.  On top of the fatigue and loss of appetite, I also felt nauseous.  It felt like 1st trimester all over again.  My favorite of all trimesters.  NOT!

Spiritual & emotional:

• I'm generally feeling much better this week on the spiritual & emotional front.  I think having Chin's mom here takes off a lot of stress (physically and emotionally) which allows me to have a little more time for self care.  I should be better at getting to bed earlier, though.  I am so glad to almost be done with this quarter.  Just 3 more exams to go!
• I am surprising my sister Gia-Mien for her 45th birthday with a makeover of her sewing room.  I am hoping to drive down to Portland next Thursday to work on it that Friday.  Chin's mom will be going down with Camille and me (which I am so thankful for!).  Hopefully I will not go into labor before or during my trip.  I really want to do this for my sister and I've been anticipating this trip for a long time.
• Pinterest is slowly ruining my life with every well-lit, colorful picture of perfection...and I'm enjoying every guilty moment of it!
• I don't feel ready for Marcus to arrive.  There is so much more I want to do.  I want to nest some more, darn it!!  I kind of wish I had a capable assistant to help me execute all these Pinteresty ideas I have stocked up in my mind.  Any volunteers?! ;)

Click here to see the comparison to my pregnancy with Camille (MacNut) at the same gestational age.