21st grade...here I come!!

A new season

There are plenty of biblical references to living our lives in seasons. I am starting to discover, acknowledge, and embrace these seasons. Particularly, I am learning to live in the current season.

It was completely pissing me off a few weeks ago that people were already talking about pumpkin-spiced crap while it was still summer (yes, I have an anger issue...and I'm totally not dealing with it).

But now that it is the cold season, here are things I'm going to be looking forward to:

• Hot pot - yessssss!!
• Pretty leaves
• Costume parties
• Candy overload from Halloween
• Wearing the 1,200 turtleneck sweaters I own
• Baking
• Chai tea
• Crock pot cooking
• Making cháo/粥 (congee)
• Christmas music
• Candles
• Winter gourds
• Wearing tights
• Chicken noodle soup
• Digging for razor clams...with our kids
• New TV season!

What are you looking forward to this season?

Clam digging 2008

Deck

So, I didn't blog yesterday. But I was sick.

And I am going to be lazy today, too.

Here are some pictures of our kids playing on the back deck:

I keep forgetting that we could use the back porch as our extra play room.
But it's a fantastic play space!!

Camille probably complaining about Marcus taking over
her stuff and messing it all up. This happens a lot.

A few seconds after this picture was taken, Marcus ate some of the
homemade play dough in that jar. He was not a big fan.

"Here Mommy, I baked you a bear cookie. Enjoy!"
(The "oven" is the area underneath the table.)

"Hiiiiiiii!"

Throwback Thursday

January 11, 2012. She was almost 17 months old.

(Dip dip from Bao Ng on Vimeo)

*sigh*

We baked cookies

I baked chocolate chip cookies with both my kids for the first time today.

"Are they done yet? Are they done yet? Are they done yet?"

Notice the tear-of-anticipation
(his first chocolate chip cookie, the lucky little boy)

"*Mmmmm* Can I get two cookies?"

It was frustrating at times. But now that I'm reflecting on it at the end of the day, *ah* that was fun.

Parenting...is hard

Ain't that the truth.

As a friend has reflected, "Have to say, I sometimes want to go back in time and smack my pre-parent self for being judgy."

I just feel that no matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it wrong...and I'm also doing it awesomely. There is intense cognitive dissonance between my beliefs about parenting and the extreme spurts of anger I often feel when, well, I'm tired of being a grown up.

Anyway, there are so many articles these days about parenting. How it's hard. How people are judgy. But it's okay, dang it! So don't be too hard on yourself. In response to these articles, I'd like to say, "B*tch please!" I've been lazy-parenting since I developed ovaries.

I am, however, constantly thinking about how my actions (or behavior, rather) affect the kids. I am yelling a lot these days. And I'm nearly convinced that I may have borderline personality disorder. One moment I'm so deeply thankful for my kids, and the next I want to strangle them (not literally, never, ever; please don't call CPS). I'm grateful that there is grace in all of this mess. Consider: God is the perfect parent, but how screwed up am I?! Rather than striving for perfection in this parenting thing, I really should be praying more. I really should be trusting more.

Also, I'd just appreciate some more sleep. And to poop in peace.

So, yes, I was on my phone while pooping

Woohoo! That's two blog posts on two consecutive days! This is part of something new that I'm trying: blogging for 5 minutes each day. Partly to emote. Partly because I'm procrastinating (senioritis, you know).

Blink

I blinked.

And my baby is now a toddler...

 ...and my toddler, a preschooler.

Taking it all in.