Marcus's birth story

This is the story of how Marcus was born. A story written by Chin, Bao, and Tara - our dear friend & trusty doula.

Sunday 6/3 (35 1/7 weeks)
Went to the hospital (Family Beginnings Unit - FBU) with contractions that were 3-5 minutes apart for over an hour. Dilation: 2 cm. Effacement: 70%. Station: +1. Tara out of town. Midwife predicted that Marcus would come this week. Studying for finals. False alarm #1.

Wednesday 6/13 (36 4/7 weeks)
Went to the hospital again in the wee hours of the morning. Tara met us there. Was grateful for free toll on way over, not so pleased to return home during peak hours. Dilation: 2 cm. Effacement: 90%. Station: 0. Midwife on duty predicted that Marcus would come within 24 hours. Um, no. False alarm #2.

Wednesday 6/20 (37 4/7 weeks)
Went to the hospital with strong and regular contractions. Tara met us there. Dilation: 4 cm. Effacement: 90%. Station: +1. False alarm #3. Ugh! At least we all were able to have brunch at Coastal Kitchen!

Sunday 7/1 (39 1/7 weeks)
Contractions on and off, enough to interfere with sleep ... called midwife Judy Lowe and talked to her about coming in for membrane sweeping or something. She mentioned Lesley and her magic fingers were on tomorrow, so it was up to me...

Monday 7/2 (39 2/7 weeks)
6:30am - Contractions started and they were the strongest they’d ever been for this pregnancy. About 4 or 5 minutes apart for an hour...but then decreased in intensity and frequency by 8am. So frustrating! Marcus’s movements were also changing. They were less frequent and there was something that told me he was more tired.

9:15am - Texted Tara. “I’m so effing tired of these irregular ctx!! :( I don’t know what I want. Anything short of getting a pit drip, I’ll be game. I want to pray with Chin first. He’s still sleeping and I want him to get as much rest as possible.” Chin woke up soon after and we prayed.

10:00am - Called FBU and nurse advised us to come in to monitor baby.

11:30am - Arrived at FBU. Hooked up to monitor & found that Marcus was doing just fine. Chin walks to Subway to get a sandwich for lunch.

12:00pm - Midwife (Lesley Kennedy) checked - Dilation: 4.5 cm. Effacement: 70-90%. Station: 0. “Is there anything you can do to help me out, Lesley?” Bao asked. You see, Lesley is famed amongst the group of midwives as having “nice, long, magic fingers.” “I’ll see what I can do,” Lesley replied empathetically...knowing how frustrated Bao has been with these non-productive contractions over the past month. *some cervical massage magic occurs* “You are now 6 cm dilated.” Lesley complimented Bao on having a favorable cervix that “melts away like buttah”...and explains that at 6 cm and a history of fast labor, we needed to be admitted. “We’re going to see this baby today, I think!” Lesley said with a broad smile.

12:20pm - Chin returned. We decided to go for a walk before getting admitted. Contractions started to pick up in intensity and frequency/regularity. But they were still just feeling like mild cramping. Maybe 3/10 on the pain scale.

1:00pm - Admitted. Stayed in normal clothing. Assigned a fantastic nurse: Luanne. Contractions still mild and regular. Tara arrives. Ate lunch. Explored different methods of getting things moving - bouncing on exercise ball, walking, stairs, deep squats, etc. We tried all methods, including "etc." Tara and everyone step out.

4:00pm - Lesley checked and virtually no progress was made in cervical changes. A little more cervical massage. “You’re now at 6.5 cm.” Whoop. Dee. Freakin’. Doo! Contractions pick up a little bit, but not much. “These are the contractions that make me tired. But they’re frustrating me because I don’t think they’re doing anything for my cervix,” Bao tells Luanne. Bao was getting tired of trying all these things to quicken labor and decided that she needed space to just be with Chin and maybe to take a nap. Asked everyone to leave, including Tara - no hard feelings! Tara was concerned for Bao, seeing that she was tired and having to balance her need for rest and "getting things going" for the sake of being admitted. Tara helped tucked Bao in and left so Bao could get some rest. Managed to nap a little bit.

5:45pm - Contractions picked up a bit more. So full of hope that things are going to take a turn soon. Bao needed to go to the bathroom (lots of pooping that day). Chin relayed to Luanne that Bao was feeling more sacral pressure and she needed to have a bowel movement. As a labor & delivery nurse, this was a signal of possible impending birth. Luanne quietly mobilized the birthing team and all the sterile trays were prepped by the time Chin & Bao came out of the bathroom.

6:15pm - Had dinner and was advised to eat in small portions. Tara returns and we worked through the contractions together. “I know that these contractions aren’t the real thing because I can still think about getting free stuff off of Craigslist while going through them,” Bao commented. Due to sacral pressure, Bao chose to try hands and knees on floor, then adapted with birth ball.

7:00pm - Luanne’s shift ended. Bummed she couldn’t be there for the birth. New nurse came on and her name is Tupi. She was also very good, just not as talkative as Luanne. Continued to do more squats for a while.

While Tupi was in the room charting, Bao mentioned that having Lesley present would make her feel pressure to perform (i.e., magically producing cervical changes), and Tupi said she would let her know to give us space. Tupi was also very sweet in offering to leave, too, so that we could labor as a team of three (plus Marcus).

8:15pm - Bao saw on Facebook that someone had posted something about pudding and started craving for that. Nurse brought her tapioca pudding and Bao was really, really happy to be enjoying pudding between contractions. Leaning over the labor ball on the ground with pillows to cushion the knees was the best position at that point. “If Lesley checks me and I’m at 7 cm, I am going to be so pissed!!” Bao expressed.

8:45pm - Lesley checked and Bao was at 7.5 cm. “Bao, please don’t be pissed,” said Chin. We talked briefly about our options: pop bag of water, start pitocin drip, try some more natural labor augmentation methods, or do nothing and see how things go. Bao started to let go of her dream of having a baby born en caul. Chin & Tara reassured Bao that they would support whatever decision she made. “Pop it, Lesley.” *pop* After a few moments, contractions markedly increased in intensity and frequency. Pain level was probably 7/10 during those first few contractions after water broke.

9:30pm - Contractions increasing in intensity and pain was probably 9/10. Bao really missed Camille at this point and wanted to talk to her between contractions. Got her on the phone and we had a sweet conversation.

9:50pm - Bao needed to go to the bathroom. Did not quite make it to the toilet when she had to crouch down for a contraction. “I’m just going to pee right here [on the bathroom floor],” Bao says. *pees* Chin & Tara cleaned up. Bao then made it to the toilet and stayed in bathroom for a minute. Tupi returned, surveyed the situation, followed by Lesley. Preparations for impending birth were made. Bao decided she wanted to be on the bed (even though the option of giving birth anywhere in any position was available). She felt that the hospital gown was getting in the way so she decided it needed to go. Once on the bed, she got into the worst laboring position - right side lying. So painful for the hurting pelvis. Pain 10/10.

At this point, Bao was just waiting to be completely dilated and for an urge to push. She thought that she was ready to push at one point and gave it a shot. But it didn’t feel right so she stopped. Lesley checked and said that there was still a little bit of cervix in the way and she could manually “push it out of the way” if she wanted to, but Bao declined.

Thoughts going through Bao’s mind: “Is there a pause button? Can I just have a little break and some more tapioca pudding? I know it’d be nice to have the pain relief provided by epidural anesthesia (it’d be real nice!), but I know I can do this. I am the only one who can do this...and I was made to do this!”

During some of the contractions, instead of breathing out deep groans, Bao would say, “I love you! I love you Little Boy! I love you!” And this really helped her modulate the pain.

10:08pm - Around this point was when the pain reached its apex and Bao had her “Eli Eli, lama sabachthani” moment.

10:10pm - Started pushing for realz. Bao pushed with all her might and was reminded of why pushing was her favorite part of the laboring experience: it was so productive and the pain seemed to melt away as she pushed. Bao also pinched a loaf during this pushing time. She knew it, too, and was totally unashamed.

10:13pm - Head out. “Look down, Bao. Do you see him?” Nope, giant belly still in the way.

10:14pm - Marcus was born! “Reach down to get him, Bao!” After ensuring the safe passage of the shoulders, Lesley let Chin & Bao take over the rest of the delivery of Marcus. The two of them fetched the boy and put him on Bao’s chest.

After being placed on Bao’s chest, he managed to worm his way to a breast and started nursing. Chin cut the cord after it had some time to finish pulsating. Marcus was on Bao’s chest during the delivery of the placenta, the stitching up (shallow 2nd degree tear), and the manual extraction of clots in the lower uterine segment (by far the most painful part of the birthing experience). And Bao was so glad to have had Marcus's company during these unpleasant procedures.

Apgars were 9 and 9. Weight: 7 pounds 8.5 ounces. Length: 18.5 inches.

"I'm so proud of you, Honey!"

Some final thoughts from...

Our team of champions!

...Tara: You are an incredible woman Bao! I loved supporting you both so that you could be your best selves and so the labor and birth process could unfold. Marcus is a very lucky and very sweet little boy!

Chin surveying his newborn son
as Bao enjoys another cup of pudding

...Chin: I am so proud of my wife for how she handled another amazing birth. I had worried that I wouldn't be able to love a second child, and a boy as much as my first born daughter; but one look at Marcus made me dismiss those thoughts completely. Our little boy is such a handsome little guy; and I have my amazing, beautiful wife to thank for his place in our lives.  I'm so proud of you, Bao, and I love you so much!

Much thanks and love to our friend and doula - Tara.  I can't imagine how parents go through this without someone like you at their side.  You have a special place in our children's life stories.

Bao updating the event on Facebook, to make it really official

...Bao: I'm so humbled and grateful for all those who were involved in making this another beautiful birthing experience. From my labor support team, to the midwives, nurses, and friends and family members who served us in incredible ways. I could not have done it without you all.

Tara mentioned after the birth that Chin is the most supportive birth partner she has ever seen (and she has seen a few, being a doula for many years and a recent midwifery graduate!). I completely agree! Chin, you are wonderful.

I am not a numerology buff, but there is something nice about the number 2 (as in July 2nd). There is something meek about it. Like our boy Marcus. Hopefully.

Here he is!

You can read about Camille's birth story here.

Chestnut Week 38

Last pregnancy picture w/Marcus?

Today is the last day of week 39 (I know, I think I'm a week off with numbering these posts somehow). Tomorrow starts the lasssst week of this pregnancy, week 40. This kid's lease is up. I've begun the eviction process. Lots of stairs. Lots of squats. Lots of bouncing on the exercise ball. Son, you are coming out!!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the size of a pumpkin - ~20 inches and weight, again, could range from 6.1 - 9.2 pounds.
• Baby might have an inch or so of hair already. Lanugo (the soft down), which covered the body throughout the pregnancy, is now disappearing.
• The body fat is continuing to build up, baby putting on about 1oz (28 grams) a day.
• The wrinkled skin is becoming 'baby' smooth.
• Baby is getting his antibodies from mom to protect against illness. Baby's growth is slowing, but fat cells under skin get plumper for life outside the womb.
• Lungs are just about fully developed.
• The baby may have reached its final birth position. Most babies are born head first with only about 3 percent coming out feet first.
• Mom may begin to feel electrical buzzes down her legs and inside her vagina. This is caused from the baby hitting nerves as he settles into the pelvis.

Physical:

• Weight: 150 lb (+37) ... Howwwww did this happen?!
• Belly circumference: 42.75 in (+14.25)
• Fundal height: 35 cm
• Dilation: 3.5 cm (was 4 cm last week)
• Effacement: 70% (was 90% last week)
• Station: +0 (was +1 last week) Sheesh! I regressed?!?!
• Midwife's estimate of baby's weight: close to 8 pounds if not over
• Baby's head: engaged and ready to go...and has been for some time now!
• Mucus plug: still no sign of Danny Tanner...not that it's always necessary for DT to appear prior to onset of labor.
• Leaking fluids: none 
• Cervical position: still posterior
• Some changes this week: more breast tenderness, more hip pain, contractions are a little bit more painful (but not regular at all).
• Hip pain is even worse this week. Although as long as I keep moving, it's not too bad. It's just when I've been immobile for a while (sleeping), it's excruciatingly painful to start moving again. One of the midwives in the group (Judy Lowe), one I respect very much, even suggested that I go for an epidural to mitigate the extreme hip pain. I said that I had the same kind of pain with Camille and [unmedicated] labor was fine for me. Hopefully that'll be true this time around with a much larger baby!
• For the past 2-3 weeks now, I've been getting this shooting nerve pain (kind of like a Charlie horse feel) radiating down the lateral sides of my legs whenever I need to pass a turd (totally technical medical term, honestly). Ouch!
• One observation I've made about all the tips on how to bring on labor: spicy food does not work for me; it only gives me a lot of gas.
• A highlight of this week was my first prenatal massage yesterday! I went to Wellness One in Bellevue with a 60-minute massage gift certificate I got for $20 through a high school fundraiser. The massage was fantastic! I even asked the masseur to press on the pressure points that would offset labor :P He said I was going to give birth within one week but not within the next couple of days. He said I didn't have that "glow." We'll see!
• Next week, if Marcus still hasn't arrived yet, they will offer to induce me if I'd like since my last time laboring was precipitous. They would do this first by stripping my membrane and then give me pitocin if that's necessary. I'm not at all keen on these interventions...but we'll see how I feel about things next week. :P

Spiritual & emotional:

• Even though I logically understand that the longer Marcus stays in, the better developed he will be, the better chances he would have of being a good eater and sleeper, etc....It doesn't change the fact that my heart is tender after all the anticipation.
• Now, I would like to emote a little about all these "false alarms." I feel cruddy about them. All three times, they occurred in the middle of the night. This meant no sleep for Chin & me. We're tired. So thankfully, no false alarms this week! Honestly, there is definitely an element of embarrassment. Moms who've experienced false alarms may not admit to it, but I will: I felt embarrassed to have misjudged false labor for true labor. "Don't you know your own body?" "You've done this before, don't you remember what it felt like?" "You were probably not in that much pain, right? How much of a wuss would you have to be to mistake Braxton Hicks contractions for real labor?" These are not questions anyone asked me (not even Chung, my brother-in-law who is infamous for not having a filter between brain & mouth). These are questions I have asked myself.
• I'm pretty much done with having to sit on towels everyday (in case my water breaks). I would like to have all my towels back for the typical purpose of showering. Sheesh!

Chestnut Week 37

Maybe this is my last
pregnant picture?...

An eventful week, but alas, no baby yet! I can't believe I've made it this far. Onto week 38!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the size of a winter squash - ~19.1 inches and weight could range from 6.1 - 9.2 pounds. 
• He is official full term now, but can still benefit from extra days in the womb. 
• Baby continues to practice breathing movements. 
• At 37 weeks of pregnancy, grasp is firm. 
• A few weeks ago, your baby would move his eyes toward light. Now he turns towards light outside the uterus. 
• The lanugo is gone except on the upper arms and shoulders. 
• Fingernails extend beyond fingertips. 
• Small breast buds are present on both sexes. 
• Head hair is now coarse and thickest. 

Physical: 

Chin snoring away on the hospital triage bed (in my place).
The nurse threatened to check his cervix.

• Weight: 144 lb (+31) 
• Belly circumference: 42.25 in (+13.75) 
• Dilation: 4 cm 
• Effacement: 90% 
• Station: +1 
• Midwife's estimate of baby's weight: between 7 and 7.5 pounds 
• Baby's head: engaged and ready to go 
• Mucus plug: still no sign of Danny Tanner yet 
• Leaking fluids: none 
• Cervical position: posterior (needs to move anterior before baby is born; but the move from posterior to anterior could take place in a matter of minutes) 
• Number of false alarms (trips to the hospital) so far: 3. THREE!! 
• Tara, our friend and trusty doula, came over for a visit on Tuesday. Tara recently earned her Master's in Nurse Midwifery from the UW! We're kind of getting away with murder having secured her as our doula. :) So when she was over on Tuesday, I asked her to check me to see how I was doing and at that point (yes, a bit beyond her scope of practice as a doula...but definitely not as a nurse!), I was 3cm dilated, 90% effaced, and at station +1. She even showed me how to check myself. I got to feel Marcus's head. He has a lot of hair! 
• After the 3 false alarms, I am pretty tired. They all happened in the middle of the night and they all resulted in sleepless nights. I'm so tired and I want to sleep all the time. Except I can't. My hip pain has worsened and I can only sleep a few hours at a time. :( 
• I got 2 fleets enema at the hospital on Wednesday morning and they were totally awesome. I am not kidding. 

Spiritual & emotional: 

• Everyday, I keep rationalizing that, "This is the day!" On Sunday, he would have been a Father's Day baby...which would have been a beautiful gift for BaBa and the grandfathers. On Monday, it would have been perfect for Marcus to come out because my new MacBook Pro arrived that day (in Portland). On Tuesday...well, I actually didn't want him to come out Tuesday because 8/19 was Penelope's birthday and I wanted her to have her own day. On Wednesday, I really hoped he would have made an appearance that day because (1) I had walked a ton the day before, (2) it was the first day of Summer, (3) I had a parking ticket that was "pardoned," and (4) it was just a beautiful day. On Thursday, again, I didn't want him to come out because 8/21 is Chin's birthday and Marcus needs his own day. Today, it would be nice for him to come out since family could come up to see him this weekend. Also, because I'm tired of being pregnant. 
• I talked to Tara earlier this week that all the things I thought would happen for labor this time based on my knowledge of labor last time have not come true at all. From the contractions to the lost of mucus plug to the feeling of impending labor to the many false alarms. Tara commented that Marcus is his own person and he wants that to be established right at this point. He is definitely his own person. :)
• After returning home from our third false alarm and taking a long nap, I woke up feeling so crummy. "I am so done being pregnant!" This pregnancy has been hard for me from the beginning to end. Yes, I am totally complaining! I was full of disappointment and frustration. I had been contracting for over 2.5 weeks with contractions that were painful enough to cause sleepless nights and general discomfort, but not enough to be productive. My hips are hurting so bad that I have a difficult time moving around. (If you've seen me recently and thought, "Hey, I think Bao was moving around just fine." It's because I was trying hard not to worry you.) Later that evening, Chin and I had a difficult talk. I asked him whether my hip pain went away soon after giving birth to Camille. He responded with a long explanation of how I did not bounce back very gracefully and was a total bitch during the postpartum period. Wow, really Dude? I totally did not ask about that. I even had sex with you tonight, Insensitive Jackass! So, I decided to throw myself a pity party and go take a hot bath. Surprisingly (or perhaps I shouldn't be surprised), God really met me in that dark place. I had a candid conversation with Him about guilt, needing forgiveness, desire to be restored, and all my hopes for Marcus. I felt so refreshed after that. In the morning, I asked Chin for forgiveness in the ways that I was being critical of him during my postpartum period (if you've heard me talk about my relationship with Chin, you may know that I rarely ever apologize). I also confessed a number of sins in my life to him and asked him for forgiveness, too. It was good. It felt really good to have that conversation. I felt like a huge load got lifted from my chest. I think I'm ready to have this baby.

Room is ready for you, son!

Ah!  Camille was born at the beginning of Week 37 so there's no more comparison. :)

Chestnut Week 36

Sorry 'bout the crazy eyes

I'm still here! Baby's still in my belly!

This week, I've still been mostly in bed.  I got out to run a few errands on Tuesday...and I really paid for it.  Early Wednesday morning, I started contracting and the contractions came about 3 minutes apart.  Pretty strong ones, too.  Chin woke up when he heard me breathing through the contractions. I said, "I think maybe Marcus is coming tonight."  We called our doula Tara and headed off to the hospital at 3am (my sister GT was home with Camille).  Of course, when we got there, the contractions wimped out and it was not true labor.  BAH! 

The midwife on duty (one I hadn't met before) did check me and she thought that baby was close to coming...maybe within 24 hours.  Chin, Tara, and I all independently and unanimously disagreed with her prediction. Evidently, she was incorrect!

Tomorrow, I will be 37 weeks pregnant.  I gave birth to Camille at 37 weeks exactly, the equivalent of tomorrow at 5:13am.  At 5:14am tomorrow, we will enter into unchartered territory.  I'm just going to keep growing this big, fat, wiggly baby until he's ready to come out. :)

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is size of a crenshaw melon - ~18.66 inches and 5.78 pounds.
• The baby's body is becoming chubby as fat layers build.
• In general, babies are gaining half a pound (225 grams) per week...or about an ounce (30g) a day. Baby continues gaining weight as fat deposits and is forming creases in the neck and wrists.
• You may feel contractions of the womb, called Braxton Hicks contractions, which can be used to perform and practice breathing exercises. You may be visiting your caregiver weekly up until the birth. Regular internal exams may begin, to see if your cervix has softened, thinned, dilated or if your baby's head is dropping into the pelvis. Any of these could be signs of impending labor but there are no guarantees and you could be waiting for weeks yet. Your baby is almost ready, a pair of kidneys and the liver has begun processing some waste products, the only organ still to mature is the lungs. 
• This week your baby may drop into the birth canal, this is called 'lightening' or 'dropping'. If this is not your first baby, this 'lightening' may not occur until right before labor. Your care provider may refer to it by saying that your baby is now 'engaged'. The majority of babies are now in the birth position, either head down (vertex) or butt down (breech), most will maintain this position until birth. Any movements that they make are more likely to be rolls from side to side.You may notice when this happens because it will suddenly become much easier for you to breathe. While breathing becomes easier, walking may be the exact opposite. If your baby has dropped you may find yourself visiting the bathroom much more often as baby is resting right on top of your bladder again.
• Keep talking - by now he can recognize you voice, and may respond to any loud noises with a swift kick out.

Physical:

• Weight: 144 lb (+31)
• Belly circumference: 42.0 in (+13.5)
• Dilation: 2 (from Wednesday morning)
• Effacement: 90% (from Wednesday morning)
• Station: 0 (from Wednesday morning...although he was at +1 last time I was checked)
• Baby's head: engaged and ready to go
• Mucus plug: no sign of Danny Tanner yet. (As explained before, when you type "mucus plug" into Google Images, amazingly a picture of Bob Saget pops up!)
• I feel like a whale.  So, so heavy.  I'm carrying all the weight out in front, so my back is really paying for it if I stand for any longer than a few minutes.
• Sleeping has been okay.  Although there was only one night this past week when I could sleep for 6 consecutive hours.
• The skin on my belly is just hanging on for dear life.  This kid is growing beyond what I've ever experienced!

Spiritual & emotional:

• This week, I've been having to remind myself to trust my instincts.  I remember that with regards to childbirth, I often regret not listening to my intuition more.  I think it's always a good reminder to stay in-tuned with one's body and mind.
• I finally got to finish some projects around the house and it feels great!  (See the pictures of Camille's room below.)
• In counseling this week, we talked about my pattern of feeling overwhelmed, shutting down, wanting to run away, and being overly critical of myself and others (yes, that's a lot to talk about).  I feel like I'm getting a lot out of my counseling sessions and I'm starting to discover the things that have been inhibiting me from living a fuller life.  Hopefully I will know how to actually incorporate these lessons into day-to-day living!
• I [not-so-secretly] wish that my water would break somewhere cool and interesting this time.

I'm so proud of this re-organization effort for the kids' room! And notice that Camille is now in a toddler bed!

More details to come on the mobile & the room re-design...

Click here to see the comparison to my pregnancy with Camille (MacNut) at the same gestational age.

Chestnut Week 35

A manageable haircut

Oy!  This week has been long! :)

As I mentioned in the last post, last week and the beginning of this week (Saturday) made up my Spa/Treat Yo'self Week.  After my pedicure last week, I was told I needed to take it easy because baby looked like he was going to come soon.  After my haircut on Saturday, I had a series of contractions that wouldn't let up and my midwife told me I basically needed to be on bed rest.  I wrote about that here.  

I am actually adherent this time!

I've been in bed ever since early Sunday morning when we came home from the hospital.  Even though I had to miss out on a number of exciting events (church pot luck, a surprise baby shower thrown for me by my thoughtful classmates, etc.), I am thankful that my professor let me take the in-class final exam at home, I'm surrounded by helpful family members like my sister GT & Chin's mom, and I have an amazing husband who will even indulge in some of my crazy Pinterest endeavors!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the heft of a honeydew melon - ~18.19 inches and 5.25 pounds.
• The body of your baby is growing round due to developing fat layers. Most babies gain about half pound per week in the last month of pregnancy. Fat stores accumulate in the legs and arms. These layers of fat will help them regulate his body temperature. Baby still doesn't have enough fat deposits beneath his skin to keep warm outside your womb.
• Lungs are almost fully developed. Baby's reflexes are coordinated, he turns his head, grasp firmly, and respond to sounds, light and touch. You should still feel movement every day. He is about 5 and a half pounds and growing fast, it is getting short of space in the womb.
• Your uterus has become more cramped, your baby's kicks and other movements less forceful. You may want to check on your baby's movements from time to time and do a kick count.
• Baby may push up against your ribs and make you a little breathless. Soon your baby's position changes to prepare itself for labor and delivery. The baby drops down in your pelvis ("lightening") and you will be able to breathe easily again. (Ha! This has definitely already happened a couple of weeks back.  I can't say I'm breathing any easier, though.) 

Physical:

• Weight: 143 lb (+30) ... I lost 3 pounds since last week
• Belly circumference: 41.75 in (+13.25)
• Fundal height: 34 cm
• Dilation: 2 (from Sunday morning)
• Effacement: 70% (from Sunday morning)
• Station: +1 (from Sunday morning)
• Judy's estimate of baby's weight: over 6.5 pounds! (from Wednesday afternoon)
• Baby's position: LOP...sunny side up.  Read more about this position here.
• I know some of you must be curious about why I tend to have threatened preterm labor.  No, it's not because of racism.  The explanation that I have been given is that because I was induced to give birth to Penelope at 22 weeks (with misoprostol and laminaria sticks), my body somehow remembers that experience and starts to go into labor before term.  I don't know if that's what it is, but I seem to be baking these children mightily quick!
• I discovered just last night that my pelvic pain has improved quite a bit, surprisingly!  I would normally be in exquisite pain for the first few steps out of bed in the morning, but I'm not experiencing that piercing pain so much anymore.  I find that I can do some of my PT exercises much more comfortably now.  Baby must have just moved into a different position.
• I have been having trouble sleeping, though.  No problem going to sleep.  I would just wake up at insane hours (like 1:30am or 5am) and am unable to go back to sleep.  And if you say, "Aww, you're just getting practice for when baby comes!" I'd better not hear you say that because I...will...RAGE!
• Stretch marks.  Probably the least of my concerns right now.  But they're there.  They're new.  They're angry-looking.

Spiritual & emotional:

• I finished my supposed-to-be-in-class final at home on Monday.  I had two online finals that were due on Thursday and Friday...but I really wanted to get them out of the way in case Marcus decided to come early.  So I did them both on Tuesday.  They took nearly 5.5 hours to complete.  My brain was fried!  But by midnight early Wednesday morning, I celebrated that I was completely finished with all academic obligations!  Felt very good!
• Now what?  I'm just chilling in bed most of the time, staring at our utterly messy bedroom.  My mind running wild with things on the to-do list.  Hoping that if I could keep my mind preoccupied with something, Marcus would think, "Maybe it's not time to come out yet."  That's my hope :)
• I'm bored.  And sometimes, I just want to go to my happy place.  My happy places right now are: Goodwill (the Seattle one, Bellevue one sucks), Daiso, and Samurai Noodle.  Or my parents' living room...because it's next to the kitchen where my mom can always be found, cooking up something amazing!
• Counseling update: I've gone to the counselor three times now and it has been very good. At first, I thought the therapist was a bit distant and cold. But I have come to appreciate her communication style. She has warmed up quite a bit. The first session with her was a bit chaotic since I had Camille with me. She was well-behaved, but I was distracted with her in the room...and I wanted to maintain composed for her (Camille). I was tearful for many parts of that first meeting, and the counselor didn't hand me a tissue box or anything. That's weird, right? Anyway, I thought that there was some emotional disconnect there. She's a bit more logical and less "listeny" for my taste. But I went back for the second and third time to see if it was any different. And it was! She was more of an attentive listener the second time around. She offered less advice and just listened. She seemed warmer in general, too. I didn't cry at all during the second or third sessions. I am in a better state of emotional health. I think most of that was due to the fact that I've been getting non-stop childcare from Chin's mom & my sister GT!
• Normally, I find myself reading Camille's birth story about once a month.  Lately, I've been reading it every other day :P  I love it!

Click here to see the comparison to my pregnancy with Camille (MacNut) at the same gestational age.

Coming to terms with not going to term

I need to do it.

I just need to wrap my head around the fact that I am not going to carry Marcus (Baby Chestnut) to full term.

I am disappointed and frustrated.  That's normal, right?

Last night around midnight, I was trying to take it easy just laying on the futon and pretending to review some material for my upcoming finals when a series of frequent contractions hit me.  They started out as been about 10 minutes apart.  And then they got closer and closer together, averaging about 5 minutes apart (some were 3).  In addition, a new symptom arose: deep sacral pressure.  The contractions weren't painful, just a little uncomfortable.  Before I went through childbirth, I would have ranked them 4 or 5/10 on a pain scale.  After childbirth, 2/10. Yes, M'am, knowing what a 10/10 pain is definitely shifts one's perspective!

I thought about it and thought about it.  Finally, I called the Family Beginnings Unit to ask if I should come in.  After answering a few questions (contractions getting more frequent & painful, no leaking fluids, no change in discharge, lots of fetal movements, etc.) they decided I should definitely come in.  The triage nurse said, "I'm seeing in the chart here that the last time you labored, it was only for 1.5 hours.  So...yes, please come in now!"

Then I still debated on whether to come in.  Now contractions were consistently under 5 minutes apart.  At around 3am, I asked Chin to drive me in to Seattle.

SR-520 is closed this weekend for construction so we had to take the long route to the hospital. *shakes fist* There, they monitored me for what seemed like an eternity, checked my cervix, and took a sample of urine just in case some hidden infection is causing all this preterm labor ruckus.  What they gathered was:

• My contractions slowed down to 5-7 minutes apart, but that was still frequent enough for them to be concerned about impending true labor.
• Dilation: 2
• Effacement: 70%
• Station: +1 (which explains the sacral pressure)

Camille was born at exactly 37 weeks (term).  I am currently at 35 weeks and 1 day.  The midwife who was there last night does not think that Marcus will make it to 37 weeks.  She predicts that he will be here by the end of this coming week.

She also gave us some good advice about coming to terms with the things that aren't ideal in this scenario:

• SR-520 is closed until Monday morning. That means we need to find alternate routes if things progress quickly before the weekend is over.
• Our trusty friend & doula, Tara, will be out of town until Thursday evening. No working around that :(
• If labor seems to be progressing quickly and/or traffic looks dismal, we need to get to Overlake Hospital (less than 2 miles from our house).
• I need to stay off my feet (or, rather, keep baby off my cervix) to hopefully increase my chances of keeping Marcus in for as long as possible. That means not being able to make it to church today (a huge disappointment because there is a pot luck today...and there ain't no pot luck like an RAC pot luck cuz and RAC pot luck don't stop!), possibly not being able to make it to my final on campus tomorrow, no play date for Lauren & Camille on Thursday, no traveling to Oregon to work on doing a surprise makeover of my sister's sewing room, no class reunion with my beloved MEPN friends next weekend, and no going to Lucky Buffet with the Ng cousins to celebrate Father's Day.
• Finally, if he arrives before 37 weeks (which is very likely at this point), he may be tiny, he may need to stay in the hospital longer, he may not be a good feeder, he may not have awesome lungs, etc.  Little boy...I really hope he stays in longer.

I mentioned this in my last post, but I am not done nesting, dangit!!

There are lots of things I still need/want to do around the house:

sort all the hand-me-downs for Marcus

somehow turn our dark gray bedroom into this serene oasis

attach the co-sleeper to our bed

do this for the little nook in our bedroom where
Marcus's mini crib will eventually go

do this thingamajig for the kids' room

and this funky idea with the Ikea-spice-rack-turned-bookcase

make & put up curtains in our living room

do this photo collage thing that I've been
meaning to do for months

And I still need to finish my Father's Day project for Chin, too. :-/

Have I already mentioned that Pinterest is slowly ruining my life?! It gives me the illusion that I can sew, do crafty carpentry, know how to cleverly organize all my crap, and live in a region where the sun perpetually shines. And I'm like, "Yeah, my house can totally look like that!" Sad.

Anyway, that's my rant.  I just need to get over it.  Get my poop in a group.  Finish this flippin' academic quarter.  And get physically/emotionally/spiritually ready for Marcus's early arrival.

It's disappointing, exciting, scary, frustrating, and wonderful.

Chestnut Week 34

Might be one of my
last pregnant pictures
with Chestnut!

This week started out with an amazing piece of news: I don't have to be on campus at all this summer quarter!  I was supposed to have a 1-credit course that would require commuting to campus for one hour, one day each week.  This obviously was not ideal.  The faculty decided to move this course to the Fall quarter (where I needed an extra credit anyway).  So this means that once I complete my Spring quarter on June 4th, I will not have to be on campus again until September 27th!  Woohoo!!

We've been having a train of family come through our house this past week.  It started off with dropping off my sister GT at the airport for her 40th birthday cruise.  Then it was my oldest sister Gia-Mien's family that came up to visit for the weekend.  We went shopping at Ikea with the kids and Chi Mien helped me put together a curtain (with blackout lining) in Camille's room...from scratch!  She is amazingly talented. 

Shopping at Ikea with cousin Donovan

After Chi Mien's family left, Chin's mom came to help us with Camille.  I am SO thankful for her being here this week.  With her staying with us, I can go to class instead of having to watch streamed lectures online (which I am rarely ever motivated to do), she keeps the house neat and clean, Camille has someone else to "play" with, and Chin & I can take it easy in the evening times, too.  Thanks, Mom!

This week is also "Treat Yo'self Week" in Bao-world!  I had a manicure with my buddy Emily, went out for a late night snack at Jack-in-the-Box with Chin, had a counseling session sans toddler today, and to top it all off, a haircut tomorrow at Salon 7 in Bellevue!

My first pedicure ever!

Thanks for sharing your gift certificate, EML!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the weight of a cantaloupe - ~17.72 inches and 4.73 pounds.
• Baby now has an excellent chance of survival outside the womb.
• Fat accumulations plumps up the arms and legs this week.
• Eyes opened when awake and closed when sleeping.
• The fingernails are now completely formed.
• Baby may have already turned to a head down position in preparation for birth (yes he is!).
• The skull bones are still pretty flexible and not completely joined to help to ease exit out of the narrow birth canal. 
• The baby's skin is also becoming less wrinkled.
• Thanks to antibodies crossing the placenta the baby is developing immunities to mild infections. 

Physical:

• Weight: 147 lb (+34)
• Belly circumference: 41 in (+12.5) ... hmm ... I shrunk!
• Dilation: 1-2 cm
• Cervix: Soft, but not too squishy; length is "decent"
• Station: -1
• Fundal height: 31 (he's definitely dropped his little head down there!)
• Estimated weight of baby: 5.5 pounds
• Midwife's prediction (Judy Lowe): 2 - 2.5 weeks until Marcus is born.  She was spot on with Camille!
• Recommendation: Take it reeeeeally easy for the next couple of weeks.  Lay on couch and do nothing, basically.  Judy said to even limit my walking.  Yikes!
• I have a contraction every time I get out of bed or get up from a chair.  I also get contractions walking to the bus stop if I am walking at a slightly brisk pace.  So I have to walk a little gingerly to make sure that I don't contract too much.
• Cankles!  They have returned with the warm weather and being on my feet a lot this weekend.  Definitely not as bad as they were with Camile, but they're there.  Poofy! 
• Yesterday was a long day: left home at 7:50 and didn't get back home 'til about 6:50. It was a long day at school with a 30-minute lunch break.  Good thing it was the last day of classes (I have an in-class final on Monday)! And I'm not sure whether it was because it was a long & tiring day, but I just had no appetite yesterday.  On top of the fatigue and loss of appetite, I also felt nauseous.  It felt like 1st trimester all over again.  My favorite of all trimesters.  NOT!

Spiritual & emotional:

• I'm generally feeling much better this week on the spiritual & emotional front.  I think having Chin's mom here takes off a lot of stress (physically and emotionally) which allows me to have a little more time for self care.  I should be better at getting to bed earlier, though.  I am so glad to almost be done with this quarter.  Just 3 more exams to go!
• I am surprising my sister Gia-Mien for her 45th birthday with a makeover of her sewing room.  I am hoping to drive down to Portland next Thursday to work on it that Friday.  Chin's mom will be going down with Camille and me (which I am so thankful for!).  Hopefully I will not go into labor before or during my trip.  I really want to do this for my sister and I've been anticipating this trip for a long time.
• Pinterest is slowly ruining my life with every well-lit, colorful picture of perfection...and I'm enjoying every guilty moment of it!
• I don't feel ready for Marcus to arrive.  There is so much more I want to do.  I want to nest some more, darn it!!  I kind of wish I had a capable assistant to help me execute all these Pinteresty ideas I have stocked up in my mind.  Any volunteers?! ;)

Click here to see the comparison to my pregnancy with Camille (MacNut) at the same gestational age.

Chestnut Week 33

*bleeaaaaaaah!*

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the heft of a pineapple - ~17.20 inches and 4.23 pounds.
• The early baby fuzz, lanugo, is disappearing now and being replaced by actual hair. The nails of baby are now long enough to reach to the tip of the fingers or beyond and may need trimming as soon as he are born. He may scratch his face even before birth.
• The baby is using his lungs to practice breathing by inhaling amniotic fluid. Baby is drinking about a pint of amniotic fluid a day now and urinating the same amount.
• Do not stop eating or start skipping meals as your weight increases. Both you and baby need the calories and nutrition you receive from a healthy diet.
• Healthy babies born at this stage usually do fine, though they need some care in the neonatal intensive care unit. 

Physical:

• Weight: 147 lb (+34)
• Belly circumference: 41.5 in (+13)
• Thankfully no more sleepless nights this week! I've been averaging about 4.5 hours each night and I'm pretty tired, though.
• Starting a couple of weeks back, I've started developing some lower back pain.  It's normally not very bad.  But I notice that it hurts a lot for me to hover over a cutting board while chopping things or stand over the sink to wash dishes for any more than 10 minutes. :(
• More charlie horses.
• Shout-outs to my friend Che for giving me a ton of very pretty maternity clothes!  I feel great wearing them.
• I fell off one of those swively stools in the clinic on Monday while leaning over to look at a patient's feet. It wasn't too hard of a fall but I did have a pretty strong contraction and Marcus was a little freaked out. :P
• We got a new mattress this week!  We slept on it for the first time last night and my hips definitely hurt less. Yay!

Spiritual & emotional:

• I finished my clinical rotation for this quarter and it feels great!  I've had a wonderful learning experience at this site and I am so thankful for my preceptor.  I'm glad it's over, though.  Those long days were so rewarding...but also draining.
• I am starting to really relate to those who overeat in stressful situations.
• Counseling update: I went to see the counselor on Tuesday.  I had Camille with me.  She had missed her nap that day but she was very pleasant.  Just played with toys.  Anyway, I can't say I had an automatic connection with the therapist, but she did have some helpful advice for me.  She basically said that things aren't ideal right now, so I just need to make certain adjustments to ensure that I don't get into a situation where I want to harm myself.  This means I need to make expectations very clear to Chin about the things that are absolutely on my plate and things that I can delegate to him.
• Chin & I had a very hard talk last night.  It started with me laying out all my responsibilities, tasks I could delegate, and things that have been frustrating me.  Starting this conversation at 1:30am was not a good choice.  Thankfully, we are on good terms now and we will continue to make progress toward a healthier way of relating.  Hopefully.

Click here to see the comparison to my pregnancy with Camille (MacNut) at the same gestational age.

Chestnut Week 32

That Marcus is
growing fast!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the weight of a large jicama - ~ 16.69 inches and 3.75 pounds.
• The diameter of the head is almost 4 inches (10cm).
• Under the skin the fat layer is getting thicker.
• The toenails and fingernails are completely formed.
• During this time the baby sleeps most of the day.
• The uterus is getting to be a small space for the baby to move about, so you may have noticed a decrease in your baby's movements (not really!).
• Mom is gaining about a pound a week at this point, and half of that weight goes directly to baby. (Mmmph! This is going to be a girthy child!)

Physical:

• Weight: 146 lb (+33)
• Belly circumference: 41 in (+12.5)
• I thought I'd seen the end of the rapid weight gain period.  I was wrong.  I got on the scale at the clinic where I am doing my rotation and when I saw "146," I seriously cursed it!
• The word of the week this week is: sleeplessness.  A part of my normal routine is to stay up late after Camille goes to bed so that I could do homework (but, really, who are we kidding...I'm on Facebook & Pinterest).  Saturday night, I finally went to bed around 2am.  Marcus (Baby Chestnut) was totally up and just giving it to me. Kicky, kicky, kicky!! In addition, Chin was having the loudest snorning night ever.  I'd never heard him snore that loud before.  He must have been so tired, poor guy :(  Anyway, after 30 minutes of trying to fall asleep, I finally gave up and devised a plan to go fold the laundry and watch boring documentaries.  I watched two: "Cruise Inc.: Big Money on the High Seas" and "Food Fight."  I washed and folded 5 loads of laundry (which sounds really impressive, but really that was laundry I should have been consistently been washing and folding all this time). Around 6am, I started feeling tired enough to go to bed. I set out some stuff for breakfast (Mother's Day was the next day...or rather, that day) and then got to bed around 6:30.  I woke up a couple of hours later and was surprisingly not in a terribly bad shape for the rest of the day!  Wednesday night was another sleepless one.  That time, I was a zombie all day long at school.  I really hope this doesn't continue.  I love to sleep!
• New belly stretch marks started appearing this week.  They just appeared very suddenly one day earlier this week and took us by surprise.  I am not getting new stretchmarks anywhere else, though. With Camille, I had a lot of stretchmarks and they spread down as far as my calves!  With Marcus, my belly just shoots straight out so all the new stretchmarks are localized at the front of the belly.
• More contractions this week...and they are getting to be a bit painful.

Photo courtesy of Rants from Mommyland

Spiritual & emotional:

• Chin & I have talked about this for a long time, but I am finally pulling the trigger: I am going to see a counselor.  I just need someone to talk to who is not Chin.  I sometimes feel a suffocating sense of being trapped and not being able to honestly vent to anyone.  I sometimes wish I were Catholic so I'd have access to those confession booths.  But I'd like to get feedback, too.  Someone to tell me that I'm not crazy.  So, I checked with our insurance and I've set up an appointment to see someone in a couple of weeks.  I hope I will feel better.
• Our amazing friends have been gracious enough to fill in as our childcare stopgaps.  Thank you so much!!!  We are still looking for childcare.  I think the problem now is that...we don't know what we're really looking for.  We have childcare coverage through the end of this academic quarter.  Next quarter (starting June 18), I will only need childcare for about 2 hours in the middle of the day on Thursdays - from 11am-1pm.  This basically means I need someone to play with Camille for two hours while I'm in class...with Marcus strapped to me.  I am sure it will be very helpful to have a consistent person to help us out as taking care of a newborn and a toddler will be a little crazy.  But if we don't have anyone to help us out in the summer, maybe we can handle it.  Riiight?  (See why I need to go see a counselor?)

Click here to see the comparison to my pregnancy with Camille (MacNut) at the same gestational age.

Chestnut Week 31

Bonus belly picture

Hard to believe that Marcus could be here in under a month and a half.  I feel progressively heavier.  The belly just shoots right out (as opposed to the generalized fatness that I had during my pregnancy with Penelope and Camille).

This week, several people said, "Wow, you look like you're about to pop!" Which makes me sad that American schools are teaching that babies come from spontaneous abdominal explosions. What? They don't teach that? You mean those people were just insensitive idiots?!

Technically, this is what's going on this week:

• Chestnut is the weight of a butternut squash - ~ 16.18 inches and 3.31 pounds.
• He should more than double his weight again between now and birth.
• The eyes have now completely opened and are responding to light and darkness.
• A loud noise near you may cause him to jump.
• His lungs and digestive tract are very near to being mature.

Physical:

• Weight: 144 lb (+31)
• Belly circumference: 40 in (+11.5)
• Fundal height: 33 cm
• Great news this week, you guys: I don't have gestational diabetes!  I had an appointment with my midwife on Wednesday and she delivered the news that the glucose tolerance test results looked good.  Yippee!
• More charlie horses this week.

Spiritual & emotional:

• I'm really thankful that my sister GT has been here over the weekend and early in the week to help take care of Camille.  Camille loves hanging out with Di Be and I love watching them have fun together!
• Oy, I am so emotional this week.  Just the littlest things will push me over the edge.  I'm completely stressed out a lot of the time because of all the school/house work that has still been piling up since the long week that Chin & Camille were sick (I know, that was a long time ago). This week in particular, I got to talk to my academic adviser a bit more about my timeline toward graduation. As mentioned before, she recently discovered that the curriculum that was drawn up for me for the past two years is a little faulty and that my graduation date might get pushed back 1-2 quarters.  She doesn't seem to think that there is any flexibility. *sigh* I spent some time crying and it really didn't help.  I am just pissed.
• I find that when I'm already stressed out, I am just not very keen at taking criticisms. I just have a lower threshold for them. That's normal, right?
• In other news, one of my BFFs moved away to Oregon.  That is so not cool.

Doing tai chi at the park

More tai chi
(ok, so it wasn't tai chi...
but it sure does look like
it, huh?!)

After this picture was taken,
she *jumped* down the slide...

Hahaha!
(She was okay. We laughed.)

Watching ducks from the lifeguard chair

Starbucks Frappuccino Happy Hour
with Mommy

Just chillin' here

Click here to see the comparison to my pregnancy with Camille (MacNut) at the same gestational age.