Don't mess with my raging pregnancy hormones!

I heard a powerful quote recently: "Pregnancy trends come and go.  But bad advice never goes out of style."  Oh so true.  Many of you know that I have a wiki-style Google document of pregnancy and child-rearing advice.  Many of my friends have contributed to this document and, surprisingly, they are mostly very good advice!  I think the thing I appreciate the most about this document is the love that people have poured into sharing their personal experiences (instead of, "So-and-so's sister-in-law had a horrific experience with a home birth!").

I was given plenty of warning (advice) about parents who are just really over zealous with advice-giving once they find out I'm pregnant.  So far, it hasn't been too bad!  There are several things that bug me when it comes to people's reactions to pregnancy, childbirth and parenting, though.  And don't even get me started about the lame things people have said to me after we lost Penelope!!  I've compiled them in this top 10 list below.  Honestly, it was really hard to rank them.  They're all kind of equally frustrating to me.  Anyway, here they are:

Top 10 baby-related things that irk me (and there are a lot of things)

10. When people call being pregnant "preggo" or "preggers."  C'mon, pregnant is only 2 syllables.  (Okay, this actually doesn't bug me that bad.  Hence it being #10.)

9. When women advise me to "only gain between 15 to 25 pounds in pregnancy because that way baby will be smaller and easier to push out."  Yes, and you're guaranteed to enjoy sex more after pushing out a 5 pound baby as opposed to a 7-pounder.  Ironically, this advice is (1) never given to me by women who seem to enjoy their sex lives (you know who you are) and (2) usually given by women who end up with some sort of analgesia/anesthesia for birth anyway.  I dunno about you, but this kind of advice sounds terribly selfish to me.  I get it that you shouldn't gain excessive weight...but for the sole reason of birthing ease?  C'mon... 

8. When another mom observes what you do with your kid and then say, "Oh, that's how you do it?  Interesting..."  You know what?  You can leave. 

7. When baby smiles and people say, "Oh, it's just gas!"  Okay, you know what?  You can leave.  Because if it's at all genetic, my baby's gas is going to not be so pleasant for you. 

6. When I tell people what we're hoping to do when baby arrives and they say, "Wow!  Okay, we'll see how that goes and how many days that'll last before you quit!"  Yes, we will, Captain Optimist.  Jerk. 

5. When I mention that we will be trying out the cloth diapering route, I get all sorts of responses.  Mostly, "Good for you" with the reactional undertone of "Eww, gross."  What irks me is when people cite their friends' experiences with diaper rashes and how baby has to sit in pee and poop when using reusables.  So...your disposable-diapered babies never had diaper rashes?  And when they did, did you rush out to get cloth diapers?  But, I appreciate your valiant effort in crusading for the destruction of the planet. 

4. When the nurse tells a laboring or postpartum woman, "Nobody is going to give you a medal of honor for doing it all natural and being brave."  No, really?  And here I am with the display case ALL ready! 

3. When L&D nurses roll their eyes at women who've prepared birth plans.  "They're just bound for a c-section," they'd often say.  I'd like to c-section you if you keep rolling your eyes! 

2. When people look down on moms who can't successfully breastfeed.  I don't know from experience...but I'm pretty sure it's tough work.  Shame on you for thinking that way!! 

1. When people are competitive about their children's or grandchildren's developmental prowess.  It's never so overt that they could be called on it.  But we've all seen it, haven't we?  I recently put in a bid with God for "smartest baby in the world" and "fastest crawler at 5 months while sleeping through the night while preparing own meal while potty trained while mastering quantum physics."  We'll see how that goes.  And then I'd like to see you weep.  God REALLY likes me, believe it or not.

Did you find yourself in any of the above rants?  If you did, it's okay.  I still love you.

Now let's hear from YOU!  What ticks you?