After Pomp & Circumstance...now what?

I started writing this blog post a couple of weeks ago... It remains empty.

I have signed on with a couple of jobs and I am ecstatically terrified.

That's what.

Crafting with Camille

We traced the hands of everyone in our family and made an autumn wreath around the clock.

"We did it! I want to show BaBa. It will make him sooooo happy!"

It's that time. Time to craft it up.

I love crafting with my girl.

I need to remember these things: Dog food

There are funny and endearing things that our kids do everyday. I keep telling myself that I'd write them down.

But I'm lazy.

Well, here's one:

At Camille's preschool open house, she was given a small bag of Lucky Charms cereal.

She squealed with delight, "Yay! ...What is it? Oh! It's dog food!!"

I feel like I've done something right.

21st grade...here I come!!

A new season

There are plenty of biblical references to living our lives in seasons. I am starting to discover, acknowledge, and embrace these seasons. Particularly, I am learning to live in the current season.

It was completely pissing me off a few weeks ago that people were already talking about pumpkin-spiced crap while it was still summer (yes, I have an anger issue...and I'm totally not dealing with it).

But now that it is the cold season, here are things I'm going to be looking forward to:

• Hot pot - yessssss!!
• Pretty leaves
• Costume parties
• Candy overload from Halloween
• Wearing the 1,200 turtleneck sweaters I own
• Baking
• Chai tea
• Crock pot cooking
• Making cháo/粥 (congee)
• Christmas music
• Candles
• Winter gourds
• Wearing tights
• Chicken noodle soup
• Digging for razor clams...with our kids
• New TV season!

What are you looking forward to this season?

Clam digging 2008

Deck

So, I didn't blog yesterday. But I was sick.

And I am going to be lazy today, too.

Here are some pictures of our kids playing on the back deck:

I keep forgetting that we could use the back porch as our extra play room.
But it's a fantastic play space!!

Camille probably complaining about Marcus taking over
her stuff and messing it all up. This happens a lot.

A few seconds after this picture was taken, Marcus ate some of the
homemade play dough in that jar. He was not a big fan.

"Here Mommy, I baked you a bear cookie. Enjoy!"
(The "oven" is the area underneath the table.)

"Hiiiiiiii!"

Throwback Thursday

January 11, 2012. She was almost 17 months old.

(Dip dip from Bao Ng on Vimeo)

*sigh*

We baked cookies

I baked chocolate chip cookies with both my kids for the first time today.

"Are they done yet? Are they done yet? Are they done yet?"

Notice the tear-of-anticipation
(his first chocolate chip cookie, the lucky little boy)

"*Mmmmm* Can I get two cookies?"

It was frustrating at times. But now that I'm reflecting on it at the end of the day, *ah* that was fun.

Parenting...is hard

Ain't that the truth.

As a friend has reflected, "Have to say, I sometimes want to go back in time and smack my pre-parent self for being judgy."

I just feel that no matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it wrong...and I'm also doing it awesomely. There is intense cognitive dissonance between my beliefs about parenting and the extreme spurts of anger I often feel when, well, I'm tired of being a grown up.

Anyway, there are so many articles these days about parenting. How it's hard. How people are judgy. But it's okay, dang it! So don't be too hard on yourself. In response to these articles, I'd like to say, "B*tch please!" I've been lazy-parenting since I developed ovaries.

I am, however, constantly thinking about how my actions (or behavior, rather) affect the kids. I am yelling a lot these days. And I'm nearly convinced that I may have borderline personality disorder. One moment I'm so deeply thankful for my kids, and the next I want to strangle them (not literally, never, ever; please don't call CPS). I'm grateful that there is grace in all of this mess. Consider: God is the perfect parent, but how screwed up am I?! Rather than striving for perfection in this parenting thing, I really should be praying more. I really should be trusting more.

Also, I'd just appreciate some more sleep. And to poop in peace.

So, yes, I was on my phone while pooping

Woohoo! That's two blog posts on two consecutive days! This is part of something new that I'm trying: blogging for 5 minutes each day. Partly to emote. Partly because I'm procrastinating (senioritis, you know).

Blink

I blinked.

And my baby is now a toddler...

 ...and my toddler, a preschooler.

Taking it all in.

That was easy

Marcus fell asleep quickly and peacefully tonight. I thought, "Boy, that was easy."

And then I realized it's also 12:09am and most children are waking up in 6 hours. 

Yeah... Okay.

But see how cute they are?!

Why I'm much happier these days

Well, actually, maybe the title should read, "How I'm learning to be happier."

This is a list. But it's not numbered. And it's not in any order. That's kind of one of my newfound keys to happiness.

When my kids are awake, I choose to be 100% there for them (although this doesn't always work out perfectly). Consequently, I don't get a lot of homework done.

When I get tired, I go to sleep. Consequently, I don't get a lot of homework done.

I don't really care about homework...that much.

I am reminding myself to drink more water.

The sun is out more often than it is behind the clouds.

I'm reminded that God loves me deeply.

Whenever I ask my patients, "What are you doing to take care of yourself?" (and I often do) I ask myself the same question.

Chin & I are in counseling together. We've gone twice. It has been good.

I'm more intentional about cultivating my friendship with Chin. I'm seeing the importance of going to bed together consistently. Don't laugh. It's not that easy.

Sometimes I clean the house even before Chin tells me to. A clean house makes me sublimely happy. That Chin Ng, he's really onto something!

Whenever I can, I take a shower.

I'm also bathing my children more often. Turns out once a week was a bit too infrequent. And bath time brings them so much joy.

I involve my kids in all the little things that I do. Like washing the dishes or cooking with Camille. Marcus just kinda watches us. That's okay.

I deleted some friends and don't read everything on my Facebook feed. Haha! No, no, I still do. I read everything.

We are trying to protect our margins. An event-free weekend can still turn out to be full of fun.

I buy low-effort meals from Trader Joe's and Costco.

I'm volunteering more.

Watching old episodes of Arrested Development with Chin.

I am trying to multitask less.

Exercise. Hehe, nope!

I'm okay that we still have Christmas decorations up in the living room.

Chin. I like him a lot.

I'm trying my best to return library material on time.

We're going on a cruise in less than 2 weeks.

We like Trader Joe's

It's always been kind of a struggle for me to prepare meals on a regular basis.

Probably because I'm lazy.

We've been going to Trader Joe's* for years. But for some reason, it has recently grown into my favorite place to shop!

If you look closely, she is eating a lollipop
while pushing a cartful of groceries.
Skills.

Here's a review of some of the things we've recently tried:

Produce
Organic bananas - At 29 cents a piece (or 19 cents for regular), they're a bit more expensive than some other stores when they're on sale. But in a pinch, they work just great.

That's about it for produce. We don't typically buy produce here when places like MacPherson's and Pacific exist!

Freezer section
Asparagus Risotto (pictured) - Looked a little disappointing at first, but it's actually not half bad for an instant side dish.

Orange Chicken - You know, it's just as good as Panda Express's!

Mushroom Turnovers - Are very good...although they're a bit expensive.

Raspberry Tart - We've never purchased this but had some when we were at some friends' house for dinner. So delicious!

Frozen Pineapple Bits - Okay, I don't know what the official name is...but the Camille loves these!

Organic Silver Dollar Pancakes - A new discovery that is loved by both our kids. They don't just like them. They loooove these little pancakes. In under 1 minute, they can be ready for consumption!

Refrigerator section
Full Fat Yogurt (pictured) - These were purchased for Camille. But I eat them. They are delicious. I'm a little afraid to read the nutritional information.

Carne Asada - A recent discovery. Chin is convinced they use some illegal substance to tenderize the meat. It is super tender and just perfectly marinated. Too busy to chop and stir fry up some peppers for your carne asada? Get the pre-made stuff from the freezer section!

Staples

Harvest Grains Blend - A perfect blend of Israeli style couscous, orzo, baby garbanzo beans and red quinoa! Chin isn't a huge fan of this blend because the baby garbanzos don't soften at the same rate as the other ingredients, leaving a crunch taste. I would agree with this. When we have time, I like to cook it longer than the package indicates so that everything is just the right softness.

Organic Polenta - In our pantry right now. Great with stews! We often fry, but you certainly don't have to.

A variety of pastas - I think our favorite has got to be the Organic Vegetable Radiatore. Camille loves this colorful mix! Their pastas used to be the cheapest. I don't think they're all that cheap anymore. But the prices are fair and for some reason, I just feel better eating stuff from TJ's.

Cocoa Almond Spread (pictured) - Yeah, it's a staple. And I think I might like it better than Nutella (it has slightly more calories per serving than Nutella, but there's 1/2 the amount of saturate fat). Not surprisingly, there are quite a few sites that have compared the two products: here, here, and here.

Banana Nut Crunch Cereal - I love this stuff!! It's a little spendy...but as Chin would say, "If you are going to eat it, buying grocery is always the right choice." He is so smart.

Joe's O's - They're fake-o Cheerios. But again, just for some reason, it feels better that it's from Trader Joe's.

Snacks
Simply Almonds, Cashews & [Dark] Chocolate Trail Mix - These are just all my favorite things in a trail mix. How'd they know?!

Multiseed Crackers with Soy Sauce - Crispy tasty snacks that are sure to be gone within 2-3 days around here. Chin & Camille are especially big fans of these.

There are too many snacks to list. Too many!

Other stuff
21 Seasoning Salute - Introduced to us not long ago by our friend Shelli (who puts it on everything), I have seriously become one of the biggest fans of this seasoning mix! A buck ninety-nine. *Kapow* My mind has been blown! I think I bring up this seasoning mix at least once a week with my patients who are struggling with diet control and are looking for salt alternatives. I love it.

Greeting cards - Okay, so I've never gotten these. But I think for the price of $0.99, they are a steal!!

And here are some more reasons that we love Trader Joe's:

• There's always something to sample. If I pick up two samples, that's like one meal for Camille. I often take her here for meals.
• They give out lollipops at the sample counter.
• They also have free coffee.
• They give out stickers at the checkout counter.
• At most TJ's, you can ring a bell to indicate that the service has been excellent.
• They have little shopping carts for kids (see picture above).
• The employees just all seem so happy to be there. Chin is convinced that marijuana is part of their employee benefits and they all toke out in the back.

While they don't have sales, clearance sections, or coupons, Trader Joe's is consistently a place that sells fairly-priced foods & goods. And I find that when we buy stuff from here, they get eaten!

There really wasn't a purpose to this post. I was just feeling a bit frustrated tonight and needed to write something completely different and mundane. But perhaps this post gave you some ideas about foods to try for your picky eaters? Or prompted you to go and buy yourself some good food to curtail your habits of going out to eat? Eh? Eh?

*I have not been paid by Trader Joe's to write any of this. But, TJ, if you guys want to pay me, that'd be totally awesome. Thanks.

First day of preschool

Camille's first day of "Friends School."

Bath time

For the past few weeks, Camille kept saying it was "owee" to go pee. She also said she had lower back pain. "It hurts in my BONE!" Okay, maybe I talk about work around her more often than I should.

I finally took her in to see the doctor last week when she refused to go to the bathroom for 5 or 6 hours.

It wasn't a UTI, thankfully. But it was vaginitis. Turns out we're not wiping her well enough...and we're not bathing her frequently enough. (Really? Once or twice a week is not often enough for ya?) How embarrassing. 

So we've been bathing her nearly every night for the past week. And bath times have just been a joy. She loves it (always has...as long as we don't pour water on her head). And it sort of curbs any meltdowns she has saved up for the end of the day.

Bath time tonight...

Camille: A doctor can take care of you.
Me: Who's a doctor?
Camille: Me! Camille! Doctor Camille!
Me: Oh, Dr.Camille, I have a fever. What can you do for me?
Camille: I pray. I'll take care of you, Mommy. I'll take care of you.
Me: Camille, will you take care of me when I'm old?
Camille: Mommy, *quiet chuckle* you're old nooooow.

I hate to say it, but she is extra hilarious when she doesn't nap. 

Xmas countdown: Day 12

Christmas is finally here!!

And here is my fave:

Feliz Navidad

I tried...but couldn't find a version that is performed by a Vietnamese church. Because we all know that is the best freakin' version of this song there is out there.

Phè lít na ví đà everyone!!

Xmas countdown: Day 11

We sang one of my absolute favorite Christmas songs tonight at our church's Christmas Eve service.

O Holy Night performed by Celine Dion

My friend/former housemate Dave posted a collage of the different versions of this song:

I must say Celine's is my favorite. Her voice is just spot on. A little on a nasally side, but it's not overly dramatic. 

Okay, back to the song itself... I just love every word of this song. Such humility. So much truth packed into one song. 

My favorite line is "...and in His name all oppression shall cease." To be honest, I don't know if it's true. I want it to be true. I want all oppression to cease every time Jesus's name is uttered...but we still live in a very broken world.

That is a prayer, then. I pray that in Jesus's name, all oppression will be erased. That we can speak truth into injustice. And looking to Jesus as an example, we can not only be kind to one another, but truly lay down our lives.

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our Friend!
He knows our need—to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!

Xmas countdown: Day 10

I can't believe it's almost Christmas!! Just a couple of days to go.

That means I'm down to 3 songs left...and it's getting tougher and tougher to choose. So today, I'm going to pick 3 songs. Because it's my blog and I can do whatever I want.

Song 1: Christmas is All in the Heart by Steven Curtis Chapman... I first heard this song the day after Thanksgiving one year in high school. At the time, it just seemed really strange to me that there could be people who are lonely at Christmas time. Growing up in the Vietnamese church, Christmas meant putting on a Christmas program. Program. Program. Program. I don't know what this whole "all in the heart" business is all about but I was pretty sure Christmas was all about having the best choir and matching outfits.

Song 2: Strange Way to Save the World... Okay, I can't say that this is one of my favorite songs. I just heard it while driving home a couple of days ago. I think this song has pretty strong Western influence in that it basically says, "Well, I woulda done things differently. But, you know, whatevs God." What it does show, though, is that God doesn't do things the conventional way. He doesn't do what we expect Him to do...but He is really smart that way.

Song 3: Welcome to Our [effed up] World... I first heard this song a few years ago when a soloist sang it at a women's luncheon at our old church. It touched me right away. The first couple of lines grabbed me right away. It wasn't the dark times 2000 years ago that they longed for a Savior. He is welcomed in our messed up world today.

I love this season of advent. Waiting for Christmas. It'll be here soon. We're so messed up...and we are longing for the King who is arriving and who is already ever so present.

Christmas is All in the Heart

In a one bedroom apartment on the humble side of town
There stands a little Christmas tree, looks a lot like Charlie Brown's
And underneath there's one little gift for him and one little gift for her
After six months on the new job, they're still barely getting by
So in the way of decorations, there's nothing there to catch your eye
But both of them would be the first to say
We're together, we're gonna have the merriest Christmas anyway

'Cause Christmas is all in the heart, that's where the feeling starts
And like a fire inside, it touches every part
'Cause Christmas is all in the heart
And even if no white snow falls, that's all right because
The joy can still be found, wherever you are
'Cause Christmas is all, all in the heart

Two little blonde haired boys with big dreams, tried to sleep but sleep wouldn't come
We'd be tearing into presents, long before the break of dawn
With Mom and Dad and cameras making sure we'd never forget that day
Now I'm the one who's taking pictures, in the middle of the night
Of my own blonde headed dreamers that just can't wait until daylight

And in my sleepy eyes the spark still glows
Well I guess there's just some things a kid never outgrows

No, it's not in the snow that may or may not fall
And it's not in the gifts around the tree
It's in the love heaven gave, the night our Savior came
And that same love can still be found wherever you are
'Cause Christmas is all in the heart
And the joy can still be found, wherever you are
'Cause Christmas is all, all in the heart
It's all in the heart

Strange Way to Save The World

Sure he must have been surprised
At where this road had taken him
'Cause never in a million lives
Would he had dreamed of Bethlehem
And standing at the manger
He saw with his own eyes
The message from the angel come to life
And Joseph said...

Why me, I'm just a simple man of trade
Why Him, with all the rulers in the world
Why here inside this stable filled with hay
Why her, she's just an ordinary girl
Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world

To think of how it could have been
If Jesus had come as He deserved
There would have been no Bethlehem
No lowly shepherds at His birth
But Joseph knew the reason
Love had to reach so far
And as he held the Savior in his arms
He must have thought...

Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world
...this is such a strange way to save the world...Saving the World

Welcome to Our World

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking
How we need to hear from God
You've been promised, we've been waiting

Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child

Hope that you don't mind our manger
How I wish we would have known
But long-awaited Holy Stranger
Make Yourself at home
Please make Yourself at home
Bring Your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
Word now breaking Heaven's silence

Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world

Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born
So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy

Perfect Son of God
Perfect Son of God
Welcome to our world

Xmas countdown: Day 9

Sorry, not a lot of time to blog today. But here is one of my favorite Christmas songs.

Handel's Messiah - Hallelujah Chorus

The video above shows a bit of an "irreverent" version of this song. But what it does very well is show the lyrics. Sure, Handel composed a magnificent tune. But it is the words that are in the song that takes me back to the true meaning of Christmas.

A King is born. Hallelujah!

Happy

I was tucking Camille in last night after having watched half of the Happy documentary.

Me: Camille, are you happy?
Camille: Uh huh.
Me: What makes you happy?
Camille: Uh...happy...eyes. Happy eyes are happy. I like them.
Me: What else?
Camille: Going out.
Me: *chuckle* What else makes you happy, Honey?
Camille: *pause* BaBa. BaBa makes me happy.

I came upstairs and told Chin this story...and we both cried.