Parenting...is hard

Ain't that the truth.

As a friend has reflected, "Have to say, I sometimes want to go back in time and smack my pre-parent self for being judgy."

I just feel that no matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it wrong...and I'm also doing it awesomely. There is intense cognitive dissonance between my beliefs about parenting and the extreme spurts of anger I often feel when, well, I'm tired of being a grown up.

Anyway, there are so many articles these days about parenting. How it's hard. How people are judgy. But it's okay, dang it! So don't be too hard on yourself. In response to these articles, I'd like to say, "B*tch please!" I've been lazy-parenting since I developed ovaries.

I am, however, constantly thinking about how my actions (or behavior, rather) affect the kids. I am yelling a lot these days. And I'm nearly convinced that I may have borderline personality disorder. One moment I'm so deeply thankful for my kids, and the next I want to strangle them (not literally, never, ever; please don't call CPS). I'm grateful that there is grace in all of this mess. Consider: God is the perfect parent, but how screwed up am I?! Rather than striving for perfection in this parenting thing, I really should be praying more. I really should be trusting more.

Also, I'd just appreciate some more sleep. And to poop in peace.

So, yes, I was on my phone while pooping

Woohoo! That's two blog posts on two consecutive days! This is part of something new that I'm trying: blogging for 5 minutes each day. Partly to emote. Partly because I'm procrastinating (senioritis, you know).