Sleep is for the weak: Tug-o-sleepy war

Many of you may already know that I have been struggling with the issue of infant sleep for a long time. The time line for my struggle goes something like this (time ... and the philosophy that I espoused):

• Growing up ... Babies should be rocked to sleep. Babies should sleep with their parents. That's how it goes. I slept with my parents until I was twelve! And I'm totally normal & well-adjusted. *twitch*
• A few years ago ... I was amazingly impressed by those who trained their infants to sleep on their own at ages as early as a few days old. I was convinced that this was the way to go. Cry it out, baby!
• Not so long ago ... I was more educated in the realm of attachment parenting and found many flaws in the cry-it-out method that is made popular by the Babywise series of books. So I set out to look for methods that were more gentle on babies and parents.  
• When Camille was born ... Seeing how she slept most of the time her first few weeks of birth, I thought that God had gifted us with an amazing sleeper! Thus, I further embraced the attachment parenting (no crying it out) method.

At one week old, we had a hard time waking this girl up for meals

• When Camille was about 4 or 5 weeks old ... She started getting her day and night flipped. And life was miserable for a couple of weeks until she figured things out.  Once she figured out that nighttime was for sleeping, it was still very difficult to get her to sleep (staying asleep has not been a problem for her...so far).  When we get tired, it is so tempting to let her cry it out.
• After the first month ... There were several occasions that I just let her cry it out because I was so frustrated.  Not the smartest thing I have done. 
• Now ... Chin & I keep flip-floppin' between cry-it-out and something else.  

Walking around Factoria Mall for nap time

Essentially, this is how we have broken things down:

Cry-it-out ish sleep method

• Pros:
• We know lots of friends (who we respect) who have used this method and I think all of their kids are good sleepers. 
• Those who did it with good consistency yielded great results: children with good sleep hygiene.  We know that by letting children cry it out, it eventually works for the majority.
• Cons:
• We need to endure hearing our child cry for an extended period of time.  (Not so much of a problem for me :P)
• Whenever I've let Camille cry it out (I know, this it not how the proper training works, but please bear with me...), I've always later found out that she was crying because of some other physical discomfort that I neglected to account for.  Like a soiled diaper, or gas, or teething. If I, an educated woman who has motherly instincts like you wouldn't believe, have moments where I have mistaken physical discomfort for a "manipulative" cry, how reliable could this method be? Also, Camille does seem awfully docile after a crying session and the following day.
• We have noticed that some kids whose parents practiced cry-it-out turned out to be not as affectionate as those whose parents chose to do something else.  
• I have this fear that children will lose trust and also associate sleep with abandonment trauma.
• I have a theory that children who are sleep trained this way are more likely to develop ADD when they grow up because sleep-time parenting is inconsistent with wake-time parenting.

Attachment parenting ish sleep method

• Pros:
• Well, my parents practiced attachment parenting and I loved it.  My parents are still sane.  Since I love and respect my parents, I desire the same kind of relationship between my children and me. 
• We have noticed that children whose parents practiced attachment parenting turn out to be kids with better social skills.
• Cons:
• Takes more effort on the part of parents.  Lots of effort.
• We know several people who have claimed to practice attachment parenting and their kids are terrible sleepers even at older ages. (Am I talking about your kids?  Um...maybe.  Please don't hate me.)
• I have a theory that children whose parents practice attachment parenting to the extreme are more likely to develop depressive mood disorders because it is freakin' disappointing to find that the world is not a warm and fuzzy place.

Last November, Chin & I decided that this is the year we were going to get smart phones.  So we set out to research the best phones for our family.  In a way, that process was very similar to our struggle with finding the best-suited sleeping solution for our family.

The Cry-it-out method is like a Windows phone.  It is methodical and straight forward.  You know what to expect.  It is a good product.  It's old school.  And it isn't as expensive as the iPhone.

The Attachment Parenting method, on the other hand, is the costly iPhone.  It is beautiful.  It is great for all us "feelers" in the world.  But it is going to cost you!!

What we're looking for is an Android sleep solution.  Something flexible, user-friendly, and open-source (hey, like y'all giving us free advice!).  Something not too costly...and something that won't crash [our children].  (Sorry, Microsoft.  I had to go there.  I had to.)

I wonder what psychological disorder an Android sleep solution would produce.  Perhaps not a disorder at all.  Maybe a super mutant power!  YES!

...

Welp, tune in next time when I discuss my sleep-time parenting beliefs.  And then tune in next, next time for when I, Bao, review books I've never read.

(Btw, keep the advice coming!  Oh, and don't think "I'm just a new parent myself.  What do I have to contribute?"  Please just say something so that I won't feel like I'm going through this all on my own.  Thank you.)