Simple fun

Sometimes a laundry basket full of socks is all you need to keep a kid entertained

Camille's seventh month: A review

How did this happen?!  How could it be that this child is already seven months old?!

Time flies, as they say.  But these past seven months have been so dense in experiences and memories that, yes, it is possible that it has been seven months...or even seven years.

So grown up now!

Sleep is not as much of an issue this month.  Camille has more or less gotten used to the whole "parents leave so I can sleep" deal.  The more we think about it, the more we are assured that this was the right decision at the right time for our family.  I believe that the timing is just working out in our favor with these factors:

• Camille being 6 months old means that there are lots of developmental things that enable her to sleep through the night.  Hehe, I'm realizing how vague that sounds.  I just mean that I think she's sleeping deeper, less easily awakened, is mobile enough to worm herself into a comfortable position, etc.
• We recently introduced her to solids and she's been having consistently 2+ solid meals each day for the past couple of weeks.  Some say that solids will help kids sleep through the night.  I don't know if I completely buy that.  But I definitely think that this is a factor.
• I think the biggest contributor to Camille (and us!) getting a good night sleep is the fact that we have moved her into her own room.  We resisted this for a long time because (1) co-sleeping was so easy for nursing her at night, (2) we felt safer with her being in the same room with us, (3) we grew up sharing rooms with our parents, (4) we didn't want her crying to bother the neighbor sharing the 2nd bedroom's wall, (5) Camille is still not financially contributing to our rent, and (6) we didn't want to go through the effort of moving her if we were going to be moving out of this apartment anyway.  Seeing that we will stay here for the foreseeable future, we decided to give Camille her own space.  We miss having her in our room...but not really.  She's just in the other room.  We definitely don't miss (1) being woken up by her tossing & turning, (2) waking her up with our tossing & turning, (3) having to rock her to sleep when she cries so that Chin's sleep doesn't get disturbed, (4) being frustrated when she cries as we sleep train her, (5) actually sleeping in the other bedroom while she sleeps on our giant bed, and (6) not being able to sleep together sometimes because one of us is with the child (guess who?) and the other one is trying to get sleep.

We feel like it's such a night-and-day difference now that Camille has gotten into a rhythm and she's learning how to fall asleep on her own.  Not only are we happier, but we have noticed that Camille is a much happier child, too!

Camille is now much more expressive and mobile.  Some highlights in her development:

• Starting this month, she has been really keen on laying on her side or tummy to sleep.  It was a little scary at first and I would go in to her room to flip her over (yunno, SIDS and all).  But I'm just thinking that she is at an age where she can learn how to flip over if she can't breathe.  Besides, a great benefit of sleeping on her tummy: her fro lays down and results in better hair!
• She sits!  It's amazing what a difference a couple of weeks can make.  One week, she couldn't sit on her own at all.  The next week, she would be a little wobbly.  And the next, she could sit on her own!  Admittedly, I'm pretty sure her giant cloth diapers have been holding her back from reaching this milestone sooner. Now that she is able to sit up, we've been putting her on the potty chair. We tried doing this when she was 3 months old...and her skinny butt fell into the potty hole! Now she loves sitting on the potty chair and kind of treats it like it's her throne. :)
• Camille can play on her own for a longer period of time now that she can more or less sit on her own.  I think maybe her attention span is longer, too.  Who knows.
• She has started to really like chewing on her feet. I know that sounds totally gross, but I let her do it. Think, spinach : Popeye :: toe jam : Camille. 
• Last month, she learned how to be Spitty Gonzales.  This month, she does this thing where she pools up saliva to the back of her throat and gurgles.  It's both gross and fascinating at the same time.
• She got to be very fond of pulling my glasses off.  Aaaaand that is why I got Lasik surgery.  Kind of an expensive remedy to this simple problem...
• Camille likes to rough house.  She likes it when we run around while holding her, or toss her up high, or hold her upside down.  She will laugh hysterically when we do this!
• Despite this, we have noticed that Camille is kind of a cautious child.  When handed a new object, she observes it carefully first before reaching out to grab it.  I think she gets this from Chin...who will spend months researching and weighing options before he buys anything! :P
• She does well with small groups of people.  When we're in a large group setting (especially at night when she's going for a long time without a nap), she tends to be a little more reserved and will sometimes freak out when people laugh loudly.  This doesn't happen during the day, though, because she is usually fine at church.
• She has been extending out more and contorting her body to get objects that are not within reach.
• Oh, how could I forget: she's eating solids now!  We started feeding her some solids soon after she turned 6 months on the recommendation of her pediatric nurse practitioner.  She didn't take to it right away.  But we tried a few days later and she's been liking it ever since!  It's never been a struggle for us to feed her.  She may stop wanting to eat before we are done feeding her that meal, but we take that cue to mean she's done and never let it escalate to a battle.  
  
  

  

  Mmm...fooooood...

• Now that we've introduced her to solids, Camille's poop is definitely more solid and smelly!  She has only shown signs of being slightly constipated once.  But we've definitely observed her using more effort to poop.
• Finally, Chin & I didn't think it would happen...but Camille has started a screaming phase!  Or at least I hope it's just a phase.  It usually happens when she's laying down.  She would let out a series of alarmingly high-pitched shrieks that's just like, "Ugh! Please don't do this at a grocery store or restaurant!  We don't want to be those parents associated with the screaming child."

The specs
As of March 7, 2011:

• Weight: 13 lb 13 oz - 10%ile

By the way, these percentile things are based on the CDC's growth chart.  Which is only meant to be used as a reference and not as a standard.  The WHO growth chart takes into account babies who are breastfed, and should be used as a standard.  (For more information on this, you can read the CDC's statement regarding these growth charts.)  According to the WHO chart, Camille is in the 25%ile for weight.

Milestones & important events
February 14 - Camille's first Valentine's Day!  We spent it with some uber cool people at the Boeing Ski Night.

February 15 - Went to 6-month check-up and found that Camille has not been gaining a lot of weight since the last visit.  Ruh roh...  PNP suggested we start her on solids.

February 16 - Fed her oatmeal cereal + breastmilk + olive oil.  Too watery.  Did not like it at all and she actually didn't eat any of what we fed her.  (She also started out on a sour mood.  That should have been our clue to not introduce food to her at this time.  Hehe...rookie mistake!)

February 18 - Left Camille with Hilary, Lam, and David while I went to an eye appointment.  The appointment ran a little long and Camille got hungry.  So I asked Lam to feed her some mashed bananas.  She ate it!  Her first solid food.  Thank you, Auntie Lam!

February 22 - Chin & I didn't get to go out on Valentine's Day.  After a little bit of whining, I got him to get a sitter (the Grays - thank you!) and take me out to dinner.  Hehe :)

February 24 - Despite the snow, Camille and I ventured into Seattle to attend a photo shoot for Zulily.  She starred in their online ads the next day!

Um...this might be a copyright infringement. 
But if it's not, this picture is staying up!
(photo courtesy of Zulily.com)

February 26 - We transformed our office/guest bedroom into Camille's room.  Yep, the kid got the boot!

March 5 - Camille got to sit up in a high chair at a restaurant (Chipotle) for the first time!

Eating with the grown-ups

March 6 - I fed Camille some pho noodles.  "Mmm...that's some good MSG, Mommy!"

March 8 - Camille's first International Women's Day + Shrove Tuesday.  Although she didn't have any pancakes.  Next year!

March 9 - I got iLasik surgery!  Now I can see without corrective lenses.  I was awake during the entire surgery so they gave me some [ahhhh...] Valium to relax.  Because of this, I couldn't breastfeed Camille until 8pm that night.  Oh boy, she was not a happy girl.  She ate a whole lot of solids that day (she still refuses the bottle)!

March 13 - We put Camille in the nursery at church for the first time.  She loved playing with the other kids...even though she was supposed to be napping.  Oh well, she made up for it with a 3.5-hour nap later in the afternoon. :)

Favorite part...
Finally getting to sleep through the night again!  This hasn't happened since my 20th week of pregnancy! 

Least favorite... 
There was one night that I let Camille cry-it-out for 15 minutes when she woke up in the middle of the night.  In the morning when I took her to go potty, I saw that her urine was more concentrated than usual.  It was yellow.  Her urine has never been that yellow ever before or ever since.  I felt so bad!!  But because I didn't feed her that night, she started sleeping through the night from then on.  So, I guess it turned out for the best.  But I still felt horrible that she was thirsty that night.

Shout outs
...To the Pangs (Keone + Ja-Hye + Keilana + Jedidiah), the Kos (Quan + Dave + Caden + Liam), and the Ngs (Chung + Alice + Anna Jane) for passing on some infant feeding stuff to Camille.  Thank you so much!

...To Lam, David, and Hilary for babysitting Camille.  Thanks for taking her out on a walk and even feeding her banana.  You guys rule!

...To the Grays for taking care of Camille while we enjoyed our hot date.  Camille always feels so comfortable with your family!

...To Kristie for spending almost a whole day with Camille while I was getting Lasik done!

Thank you, Auntie Kristie!

Discoveries & reflections
...There is a huge jump in laundry items after we introduced solids.  It sure is a messy endeavor, folks!

...I have learned that sleepy time parenting is not the bottom line in child development. Neither is feeding choice. Or what kinds of games I play with Camille when she's awake. I need to pray more because God holds the key.

...My mind is always racing with thoughts of how to Tetris together the optimal schedule for Camille's day.

...I'll say it now: I hate schedules.  I hate making one for my family and I hate having to abide by it.

...I always feel like I need to top off Camille's sleep tank during the week to account for the missed naps over the weekend.

...I have always loved smelling Camille's breath. I wonder if this will change once she starts solids. (Update: Yes, a little bit.  But I still love smelling her breath!)

...I often wonder if Camille is going to be a drama queen or a dull kid.  I would love for her to have lots of personality.  But, can we handle it? :-/

Crankster

...Fathers are usually very concerned about physical growth of their children.  Chin routinely weighs Camille on our bath scale...which is almost never accurate.

...Every parent seems to want their kid to excel in something. That's nothing new. But what's funny is how parents want their infants to excel in things...like weight, or height, or when they are capable of rolling over, how long they sleep at night. I must admit, I am one of those parents! But it is silly, isn't it?

...I knew that I would take a lot of pictures of my children.  What I didn't know was that I'd be taking 30 shots of the same thing. Where half of them are very blurry, 5 are only moderately blurry but the kid is not looking at the camera, 5 where she has completely wiggled off-screen, a few shots where I try to use flash but it just looks wrong, and finally a couple that are truly fantastic! And then I'm left with the tough decision of which picture to post on Facebook.

Camille loves watching the YouTube video of this laughing baby!

..."Likes" on Facebook are weak sauce. Only comments matter.

...Chin and I are getting better at deciphering Camille's different cries. Nightmare? Gas? The I-can't-fall-back-asleep cry? Just crying because she's amused by the sound of her own voice? We can tell them apart pretty well now :)

...I crave for the day when I can listen to a sermon from beginning to end!

...I'm starting to believe people when they say, "It gets better!!"

...I have learned that no camera can capture the magic of this child.

Mahalo!!

Growing up and moving out...

Camille is growing up fast.  Well, not any faster than the normal progression of time.  But it seems like it was just yesterday that she was sleeping in a blue sleeping pod between us.

Father and daughter

And then we moved her into the crib that we had sidecarred to our bed.  She was there for 4.5 months. 

My little girl

Nursing her at night was so simple.

So near and dear to my heart

We would hold hands sometimes (I'd hold her hand because she would get startled often when she was little).

Holding hands

In January, we detached her crib from our bed...but kept her in the same room with us.

"She looked so lonely!" said Auntie GT

Finally, at 6 months, we moved Camille into her very own room.  We cleared out our former office/guest bedroom and this 2-foot-tall girl is getting her own room.

"Welcome! Welcome to my room, guys!"

It has been a good transition.  I think we felt ready at each stage.

But why does she have to grow up so fast?!

*sigh*

Sleep is for the weak: Stop blogging and go to sleep already!

We started sleep-training Camille exactly a month ago today.  So far, we feel like it has been a very good decision.  We're all getting better rest!  So, this blog post marks a temporary halt to the "Sleep is for the Weak" series...while we catch up on sleep :)

What does life look like in our family right now?  A typical weekday looks something like this (if you're a parent, you're probably already scoffing at the word "typical"):

1:00am - Chin & I go to sleep (okay, sometimes later...because we are fools).

8:30am - Camille wakes up and plays in her crib.  Chin goes to pick her up and brings her over to our bedroom for "Family Snuggle Time."  Camille loves it and is all smiles.

Family Snuggle Time this morning

8:32am - Camille gets over the novelty of snuggle time and wants to nurse.  I nurse her in bed.  Although, she likes to take breaks and looks to make sure Chin is still there.

9:00am - Either Chin or I change Camille's diaper, Chin goes off to work, Camille is less distracted, and we finish off morning nursing.  After that, we play together.  Which means she's in her jumperoo and I'm next to her...on Facebook.

10:00am - I'm starting to get hungry and get up to make something to eat.  I find that there is nothing good to eat in the fridge.

10:15am - I'm still trying to figure out what to eat.

10:30am - I whip up something, usually pretty unhealthy.  And, of course, Camille is cranky because she sees that I'm eating.  Does she want to eat?  Does she just want to ruin my life?

10:35am - After stuffing down what I'd just made, I go to make some food for Camille.  For now, it's oatmeal cereal + pumped milk + Japanese yams.

10:40am - I start feeding Camille while she watches cartoons...in her jumperoo.  She, of course, feels like a diva.

Diva

10:50am - She has either eaten the entire thing (which is usually the case) or she has turned into Spitty Gonzales.  I clean up and we are off to wind down in her new room!  That's right!  We moved her into her new room last Saturday and, well, I will write more later.  So, winding down involves me changing her diaper, take her to go potty (she usually poops), and then walk around holding her upright (facing me) while singing a sleepy time song.

Sneaky little girl...with her taggie blanket

11:00am - (Yeah, winding down is a process and it takes a while...mostly because she likes to take forever on the potty.)  I put her down in her crib with her little taggie blanket and say, "It's nap time, Camille.  I love you very much.  Have a good nap!"  I then leave the room and I don't return unless I sense that there is something wrong (I have the baby monitor with me).  If she's over-tired, she will cry anywhere from 2 minutes to 5 minutes.  If it's just the right time, she will just play with the blanket and then worm into a comfortable sleeping position -- no crying!

11:05am - She's out!  If I'm smart, I'd take a nap or shower or have a quiet time.  I'm usually on Facebook.  And maybe I eat something.

12:50pm - She starts stirring.  Sometimes she will wake up and play in her crib for maybe 5-10 minutes.  If she was woken up by the garbage truck or something, though, then she'd cry.  I go pick her up.

1:00pm - I nurse her first and then take her to go potty.  Then we spend the rest of this awake period doing different things like visiting people, receiving visitors, going grocery shopping, or just dinkin' around the house.

Playing with Auntie Tara

2:15pm - I feed Camille her second solid food meal of the day.

2:50pm - Wind down and put down for second nap.

3:05pm - She's out!  But for her second nap, she often wakes up.  Usually not crying.  Just worms around and tries to get into a comfortable position.  Maybe there are more noises in the afternoon?

Ahhh...so peaceful

5:30pm - She wakes up and I nurse her.  Then I take her to go potty and change her diaper.

6:30-7:00pm - Chin comes home.  We make dinner and eat.  Haha!  Okay, this rarely happens.  Last night, it was fried chicken from Albertson's.  Yummm!

7:30pm - Camille gets her solid dinner.  Usually Chin feeds her.

8:00pm - Camille starts getting cranky.  You see, we've cut out her 3rd nap.  And she's sleepy.  But if I try to put her down at 8 (which we've tried a few times), she doesn't go down until past 10!  So, we just try to do different things to distract her.  Like walk around the mall or give her a bath (which she gets 2-3 times a week).  Or sometimes we just give her "naked time" where we take off her diaper and let her roll around.  She really enjoys this.  We do need to take her to go pee about every 15 minutes, though.  She can hold in pee.  But only for 15 minutes.  Hehe.  She's peed on our bed and the futon and the play mat and the couch a few times when we've been careless and let her go longer than 15 minutes.

8:45pm - If we haven't changed her diaper by now, we change her diaper and take her to go pee.  She normally wears cloth diapers during the day.  But at night, we put her in a disposable.  I don't really want to know what they put in those disposables to keep babies feeling dry for so long.  I suppose most parents don't want to know this.  Aaaaand that is why we continue to pollute God's green earth.  (I'm really stepping down from my organic, dye-free soap box now.)

8:50pm - The three of us wind down a little bit.  But usually by this time, Camille is pretty ready to go to sleep.  Chin kisses her good night.  I nurse her laying down on the futon in her room.  Most of the time, she falls asleep while nursing.

9:30pm - But inevitably, she wakes up at the end and starts having a conversation with herself.  No, I'm not kidding!  She's not looking at me.  She's just making talking sounds.  There's no need for a paternity test.  She's totally Chin's daughter!  If I don't feel like she's had a full feeding, I nurse her a little more (which takes a little bit of convincing).  When she's done, I put her down in her crib, give her the little taggie blanket and kiss her good night.  Most of the time, she plays in her crib and worms around for about 5-15 minutes and then falls asleep.  No crying.  Yay!  Chin & I hang out.  Which means we're on our separate computers but sitting in the same room (the living room, where we've relocated the office).

I woke up the other night to find her sleeping in this position

Weekends are completely different.  We just wing it most of the time. :)

So, that's it!  We ended up sleep-training her and we do let her cry-it-out when we feel that it's necessary.  We are thankful for the occasions where she does not need to cry at all.

Last night, I slept through the night.  It was my first time doing this since the 20th week of pregnancy!!  I didn't wake up even once.  When I woke up at 8:34am, I checked the monitor and Camille was playing with her taggie blanket.  I love this child so much!

...

As a final note, I would like to thank all my friends who have given me their input on infant sleep.  I am especially thankful for those who just listened to me bitch about this process.

And thank you for reading.  As I write, I aim to be as transparent and honest as I can be about this journey through life.  I realize that there are risks to being this naked about our lives.  But what the heck...we hope you still love us. :)

Thank you.

Sincerely,

The Weak

...

Blessed are the weak, for they will get sleep... 

(excerpted from the Baoieatitude)

Spitty Gonzales

This is an old video...but I can't stop watching it and bustin' out laughing.  This girl is so funny!!

Taken on January 20, 2011

Sleep is for the weak: Book reviews (*giggle*)

"The night is a very dark time for me." 

Chazz, Blades of Glory 

...

So, I haven't posted in a long time.  I've been catching up on sleep :)  Okay, that's a lie.  I've just been lazy and sleep-deprived.

As promised, this is the blog post solely dedicated to the review of baby sleep books I've never read.  I've picked up some of these books but I have not seriously read any of them.  So, here goes!

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
My smart friends who are not hippies all recommend this book.  You know who you are.

What I appreciate: As every parent knows, once you have something figured out, your child changes!  This book gets that.  There are solutions for different stages of development.  There are also several different solutions to choose from depending on your/your child's temperament or the parenting style you choose.

My concerns: The biggest point of contention for me is the advice to put your child down early.  He recommends between 6 and 8pm.  If the child has a lot of trouble with sleep, then even earlier!  Dr. Weissbluth talks about how parents and grandparents will keep children up past 8pm because they are selfish and just want to play with them.  Um, heck yeah!!  If Camille goes to bed at 6 or even 7, she'll never see Chin!  And that would mean she'd wake up at 6...which is totally uncool, in my book (my book, of course, is called "Sleep is for the Weak.").  I do appreciate, however, that I can still glean helpful information on the science of sleep from this book even if I don't buy into all of his philosophies.

On Becoming Baby Wise
Oh boy.  Many of my dearly respected friends use this book.  I love my friends.  The book?  Not so much!

What I appreciate: The authors talk about creating a routine and sticking to it so that baby can develop a sense of security based on this routine.  They discuss the sleep-eat-play cycle that you should get your children on so that they will know what to expect when sleepy time comes.  Good, sound concepts. 

My concerns: There are so many concerns, I need a bulleted list:

• He talks about stretching the feeding times so that babies do not develop the habit of "snacking" and will also thereby increase the amount of continuous sleep at night.  This sounds like good advice, but there are inherent hidden dangers.  Putting infants through a rigid schedule may result in malnutrition, dehydration, lost of trust, hunger strikes, decreased milk supply for moms, etc.
• The philosophies described in this book are largely legalistic and rigidly regimented.  It is perhaps something that works for other families.  Not for ours.
• I don't like the fact that he refers to a young baby's cry as being "manipulative."  That is hands down my biggest beef with this book.  I believe that babies cry to communicate.  Sure, baby could be communicating, "I want to be picked up just because I want to be held."  It is then up to the parents to decide whether to pick baby up.  When babies are young, their emotional needs and the need to be near parents are considered basic needs.  I believe that manipulation comes from kids whose parents have exhibited wide inconsistencies.  When kids know that parents will bend, they will manipulate.  I know it's all semantics.  But it's the same as calling an end-of-life patient "needy."  Do you get what I mean?
• Finally, I do not appreciate that there is a "Christian" spin to this book.  Sure, the author (Ezzo) has published Growing Kids God's Way.  But to claim to be an expert on sleep and child-rearing while he has no credentials is a real concern that parents must be aware of.  If anything, I would say that the Ezzos are the manipulative ones...claiming to be experts, preaching legalism, and weaseling their ways into Christian libraries to misinform God's people.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution
Many of my friends recommended this book to me.  I checked it out from the library to read while I was pregnant with Penelope.  There were definitely some valuable points to learn from this book.

What I appreciate: I like that the author's name is Elizabeth Pantley.  It's feminine.  Yet confident.  Okay...aside from that, I also like her tangible examples of setting routines for bedtime. 

My concerns:  I just don't think it works for every kid.  Some kids, I think including Camille, will cry no matter what.

12 Hours by 12 Weeks Old / The Baby Sleep Solution
I hadn't heard of this book until Camille was beginning to exhibit some sleep issues at 5-6 weeks.  I borrowed it from a friend and I learned some pretty interesting things.

What I appreciate: I like the concept that there is a distinct start to the day.  She said that we should set a time to start the day everyday so that babies know what to expect.  So even if babies wake up at 6:15am and you want the day to start at 7, feed the baby at 6:15 and then again at 7 so that baby will know that 7 is always associated with this "good morning" routine.  I also like that the author says you can conform baby's schedule to the individual need of your family.  She cited one rock band family who had a wacky late-night schedule so the baby was on a 12-hour schedule where she woke up at noon and went down at midnight or something crazy like that.  Whether or not this is scientific, I don't know.  But I appreciate that flexibility :)

My concerns: I don't mean to dismiss the experience of mothers, but I have a harder time trusting the author purely because she doesn't have any scientific knowledge of infants and infant sleep.  Sorry.  I am also skeptical of the promise of 12 hours of sleep.  Not that I don't think it is possible.  But I don't think it is healthy for a 12-week-old.  Much to my chagrin, I do think young infants are wired to wake up at night.  You can call it evolution or you can call it God's design, but I think it is healthy for them to wake up and (1) eat, (2) regulate their breathing, and (3) make sure they are safe.

The Baby Sleep Book
Written by the Sears, readers must understand that they come from the stance of attachment parenting.  If you are not willing to rock your baby to sleep, wear baby, co-sleep, etc., you're outta luck, Chuck! 

What I appreciate: I like attachment parenting.  I really do.  It's a lot of things my parents practiced when they were raising us.  I also appreciate the tangible safety tips on co-sleeping.  Bed-sharing can be very controversial in terms of safety and I feel that this book adequately discusses these concerns.

My concerns: If you are not bed-sharing and if you want to try cry-it-out, there isn't a lot of information for you in this book.  I've actually tried the method of laying a hand on Camille and soothing her to sleep standing over her crib.  That worked once...out of five times (sometimes I did this for 20 minutes)!  The book also talked about helping the child make a healthy association with sleep.  That sleep is a safe and peaceful time to enter into.  Really?!  Show me a child who likes bed time and I will show you why your little pariah has no friends.  Okay, I don't [completely] mean that.  But seriously, awake time is fun!  Who the heck wants to go to sleep?!  I hated nap times as a kid because there was always some fun to be had.  Maybe I just had an amazingly awesome childhood.  Yep, that's it! :P

The Happiest Baby on the Block
A lot of my friends recommended that I read this book.  So I looked it up on YouTube.

What I appreciate: Loved the 5 S's!!  I tried them all on Camille and they have all worked at some point in time.

My concerns: Beyond the first few months (what Dr.Karp describes as "the fourth trimester"), a lot of his calming methods do not work. 

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems
This book is written by the father of the cry-it-out method, Richard Ferber.  The man.  The legend.  The verb - "ferberizing." 

What I appreciate: For a book that promotes cry-it-out, I like the scientific explanations and reasons behind the methods.

My concerns: Dr.Ferber's cry-it-out method (called "graduated extinction") calls for parents to go in and check at scheduled intervals.  Without a video baby monitor, I think this would be necessary.  But if you have a baby monitor, I feel that it is better to do pure extinction (no checks) so that the baby doesn't get confused about, "How come Mommy is here but she's not picking me up?"  Just my opinion...

...

"Baby sleep books are as suspicious as Nigerian scams, instinctively you know it."

I found this quote on a blog while looking for reviews on good infant sleep books.  And, ain't that the truth!  These books always begin with horror stories of nightmare babies who are miraculously transformed into sleeping angels as soon as their parents followed the advice by Mommy Whozits or Doctor Whatzits who wrote the book.  And, of course, how irritating is it that these books all contradict each other?!  *sigh* In the end, really, you were just scammed into wasting time that you could have spent sleeeeeeepiiiiiiing! 

That is precisely why I don't read. :)

Camille's sixth month: A review

This month, we are thankful that there are no more hunger strikes.  Not serious ones anyway.  I think what I am more thankful about is just the fact that she appears to be healthy and happy.  I have just learned to let go of wanting her to get a full portion of her feeding.

This month also marks the beginning of an earnest effort to sleep train Camille.  After long months of debate, it just came a point that we had to allow Camille to cry in her crib until she learns to fall asleep by herself.  We were both so tired of having to rock her to sleep.  Sleep training has been going okay.  You can follow Camille's sleep journey here.

Finally, here are some new things we've noticed about Camille this month:

• She rolls everywhere now.  We are more cautious about leaving her unattended for more than 5 seconds unless she is in a very safe place.
• She can transfer objects from one hand to another (maybe this started last month, I can't remember).
• Before, Camille would just bite on her hands and fingers and lot.  Now she has shown an obvious preference to her thumb.  Ruh roh!!
• It doesn't happen very often or very predictably, but Camille likes to laugh out loud more often now than before.  Chin is the only one who can make her laugh uncontrollably, though.
• Camille gains a new nickname: Spitty Gonzales. (Which, btw, is her second Spanish nickname...after Camillio.)  She blows bubbles and spits a lot.
• She poops less frequently than before (used to be 3-4 times a day).  Which is very nice!! :)  Her poop is also more solid.
• Ever since she was 2 months old, she has been very keen on sitting and standing up.  When she grabs onto our fingers, she would try to pull herself up to a sitting and then a standing position.  She has been doing this a lot more this month.
• She knows that her name is Camille.  I didn't know about this, but my parents tested out this theory when they called her by other kids' names and she would only turn when "Camille" was called. :)
• Before, Camille would be very calm and observant during bath times.  Now, she actually smiles and shows signs that she enjoys it.

Camille checking out her Lunar New Years loot - red envelopes!

The specs
As of February 15, 2011:

• Weight: 13 lb 7 oz - 10%ile
• Height: 26.75 in - 90-95%ile
• Head: 16.25 in- 10-25%ile
• Teeth: 0!  That's right.  One tooth started emerging right before she turned 4 months old and now it has disappeared.  This is common.

Milestones & important events
January 15 - Really busy day.

January 16 - I got sick for the THIRD time since Camille was born. Aaaand Camille had another hunger strike.

January 21 - Went to open-gym volleyball with Chin @ CBC and went out with people after.  We did not end up going home until well past midnight.  Surprisingly, Camille did okay despite waking up at one point and just wanted to stay up to play for a bit.  Earlier that same evening, Camille had a bit of a melt down.  We thought it was stranger anxiety kicking in.  In hindsight, however, it was probably gas.  Maybe strangers give her gas.

January 28 - Had another melt down at my parents' house.  My parents were really bummed because they thought she didn't recognize them or didn't like them.  Turned out, yep, it was gas!!  Nothing a little simethicone can't fix. :)

February 3 - Camille's first Lunar New Year!  Also the first day of sleep training using the cry-it-out method.

February 10 - Camille learned how to "endearingly bonk heads" with Grandpa Le.  "She's so smart!!  She's smarter than her mom!!" he says.

We missed the really hard head butts.  Ouch!

Favorite part...
Getting to nap when Camille naps (for those days that she naps well)!

Least favorite... 
The results of busy days of being out and about.  I love getting out of the house.  But when getting out results in missed naps and tired baby, I am not a fan.

Shout outs
...To the Rainforest Jumperoo that Chung+Alice+Anna Jane are letting Camille borrow!  She loves it.  We have been putting blankets on the ground underneath the jumperoo to prop her up since her feet can't quite reach the floor when she's on it yet.

...To our exercise ball.  Useful for Chin's back exercises.  Useful during labor.  Useful for rocking Camille.

...To the B.O.B. Revolution SE 2011 jogger stroller.  An amazing stroller that we probably don't need (it's big, I don't jog) but Camille seems to really like it so far!

Discoveries & reflections
...Every newly postpartum mom will have an "oh snap" moment when her stomach bubbles and she wonders, "What?  Is it possible that I'm pregnant again?"  Then the thought process that follows is akin to asking God why good people get cancer.

...When old Asian people (those you only see once or just occasionally) critique your parenting and give you random [bad] advice, if it's feasible at the moment, just do whatever they say in their presence.  It's just so much easier than using logic and reason.

...I get very bothered when people would wake up Camille or distract her while she's feeding or just irritate her in general.  And when she cries as the result, they would call her "a difficult baby" or label her with a behavioral problem.  It has only happened a handful of times.  They've all been Asian people.  Coincidence?!

Jusssssst chillin'

...If you did not birthe the child, do not demand that the child do cry-it-out to sleep train.  Especially if you aren't the one who has to be there to listen to her cry (Chin!!).

...Holidays, weddings, and parties are fun!  The aftermath of missed naps are not. :(

...I have discovered that Camille has more than just one smile.  I wish I could capture them all with the camera.  But here's the list of what I have observed:

• The "I just farted" smile.  Very sneaky.  Tongue sticking out, of course.
• The "Good morning" smile.  A mild smile with lots of blinking.
• The "I know you" smile.  It's a smile that's flashed when she recognizes someone she's seen before.
• The "I see another baby" smile.  Oftentimes this smile occurs when she sees herself in the mirror.  This smile is accompanied by a lot of excitement.  Sometimes shrills and always hands-in-mouth.
• The "My parents just want me to smile for the camera" smile.  Only lasts about 2-4 seconds.  We usually miss it.
• The "Daddy's home!" smile.  Eyes opened wide...and then biggest smile with crescent-shaped eyes!

"Working...on...my...cooooore!"

Sleep is for the weak: Sleep training week 1

We often ask just about every parent we meet, "How did you get your kids to sleep?  How did you put them down for naps?"

One answer we have consistently heard was, "Hmm...you know, I don't remember."

Well, that's not going to be us.  We're no loser, I-can't-remember parents!  So, we're going to note it down on this blog.  And hopefully you can glean some helpful information from our journey.  Or at least learn what not to do :)

This is week 1 of our serious sleep-training for Camille.

Thursday, February 3 (Lunar New Year)
To be honest, I don't remember much of this day.  It was the first day that we put forth an earnest effort to sleep train Camille.

It all started the day before, Wednesday.  We had dinner at Chung & Alice's (Chin's brother & sister-in-law) that evening and Chin made a comment that Camille would be sleep trained by now if it hadn't been for my unwillingness to let her cry it out.

This comment hurt me a lot, actually.  It was alarming that at 6 months, Camille could not fall asleep without the aid of being nursed, rocking (which usually involves crying anyway), riding in a car seat, or being carried in a carrier.  It also called my attention to being more united with Chin on this sleep-training front.

So I decided that the next day, I would try to see if there was truth behind Chin's comment -- whether Camille could be trained to sleep if she were left to cry.  I've always believed that it could work.  I just don't know if it would be a good fit for Camille's temperament and our lifestyle.

For the first nap of the day, I calmed her down, read her a book, and sang to her some sleepy time tunes (songs that I've been singing to her around bedtime since she was born).  The book we read had a scary gorilla on the front page and it freaked her out a little.  Okay, perhaps not the best choice.  So, I put her down in her crib, told her that I loved her, stroked her fro, and said, "It's time to take a little nap!"

She cried for about 25 minutes before falling asleep.  And then she woke up after 15 minutes and cried for about 10 minutes.  Altogether, there was probably 35 minutes of crying for 70 minutes of sleeping.

That afternoon, she napped for about 40 minutes in the car seat while I was running errands.

That evening, she napped for about 25 minutes in the car seat again.

I nursed her at our normal time, 10:00pm, and she fell asleep pretty quickly.

All in all, she seemed a bit tired and docile after the crying-out session.  The crying really dug at my spirit.  Chin was right, deep down I was really bothered by her desperate cries.

Friday, February 4

• Early, early morning, I think she woke up twice to nurse.  I can't remember exactly.
• 9:15 woke up
• 11:30 put down to crib, played, turned 90 degrees and starts kicking crib rails, laughing
• 11:40 I go in and picked her up to turn her around, gave her a little hug, put her down in crib, she started crying shortly thereafter
• 11:54 she's out!
• 12:36 up and crying
• 12:41 back to sleep
• 12:50 up again
• 1:15 fiiiinally back to sleep
• 2:10 woke up, nursed
• 3:45 put down to crib, started crying
• 3:50 she's out!
• 5:40 I had to go in to wake her up because we had a dinner to go to at OCB :)
• 7:30 napped in carrier at OCB for ~ 30 minutes
• 10:00 started night time feeding
• 10:45 she nursed until I was completely drained, but was still not asleep.  I sent Chin in with a bottle, she took about .5 oz - this girl still does not want to take the bottle!  She was pleasant and not crying, but we knew she was tired.
• 11:15 we put her in the crib and let her cry - the first time we've ever let her cry it out at night.
• 11:31 she's out!

Saturday, February 5

• She woke up twice to nurse.  Pretty uneventful, though.
• 10:00 woke up playing in crib
• 11:55 put down for nap
• 12:05 she's out
• 1:20 woke up, nursed
• 3:30 fell asleep on the way to Ikea
• 3:55 woke up in the As-Is section at Ikea.  We tried to get her to go back to sleep but were not successful.
• 7:13 cried "loud and violently"
• 7:39 went to sleep
• 7:48 woke up
• 7:56 back down
• 8:05 woke up for good. Then Chin & I had a conversation, debating whether to continue with cry-it-out.  It was a hard talk.  We decided not to continue it.
• 10:00 nursed to sleep
• 10:42 Chin wrote a blog entry about us stopping the cry-it-out training

Overall not a great sleeping day.

Sunday, February 6

• 4:30 woke up to feed. She woke up when I put her back into the crib.  I let her cry and she was out in less than 5 minutes.  "What?  You're going to let her cry?  I thought we decided not to do that," Chin said.  I replied, "I just don't see it working out any other way.  I am too tired to rock her to sleep."  Chin agreed.
• 9:30 woke up playing, Chin takes her and also composes a "proposal for sleep training."  It's pretty sweet. :)
• 11:15 nursed (at church)
• 12:40 fell asleep in car
• 1:15 woke up at Jumbo dim sum restaurant (who can blame her?)
• 2:15 nursed
• 3:30 put down for nap, cried for < 20 minutes, I think
• 5:00 woke up, nursed
• 8:15 napped in carrier
• 8:40 woke up
• 9:30 bedtime feeding, played and took a long time to fall asleep
• 10:17 finally asleep (took a lot longer than usual)

Another not-great sleeping day.

Monday, February 7

• Woke up twice to feed.  Again, I don't recall what time it was.  I tend to block out those painful memories.
• 9:30 woke up, played in crib, EC'd, nursed, played, blah blah blah
• 11:10 put down for nap, started crying
• 11:15 out!
• 12:45 woke up, played in crib
• 1:10 nursed
• 2:15 nursed a little again
• 3:03 put down for nap
• 3:08 she's out
• 5:50 woke up (prior to waking up, she was stirring a little bit but no crying), very pleasant, nursed
• 8:10 Chin wanted me to put her in the carrier to see if she would fall asleep, she nodded off a few times
• 8:45 Definitely not sleeping, wanted to play
• 9:45 bedtime feeding, fell asleep by 10:10

Great day, if you ask me! :)  I also noticed that Camille has less of that docile look and she is back to her interactive self.  I would say that she is even happier.  Perhaps because she is finally getting the much needed rest.

Tuesday, February 8

• 1:40 woke, fed on one side
• 4:55 woke, fed on other side, put back into crib but woke up, fed other side, back to sleep by 6:00, put back into crib around 6:15 but woke up and played
• 6:35 changed, fed again, woke after having fallen asleep, blah blah blah, walked around, rocked on bouncy ball for 5 mins
• 7:15 fiiinally back to sleep in crib!
• 9:10 woke up, played in crib for 20 minutes, changed
• 9:50 nursed
• 11:20 put down for first nap, started crying
• 11:24 sleeping
• 12:54 woke up playing in crib, very pleasant
• 3:03 put down for nap
• 3:05 out!
• 3:47 woke up, started crying
• 3:51 stopped crying, but started playing and turned 90 degrees
• 3:54 I went in to turn her around and put the pillows back on top of her. (We put two heavy pillows on top of her while she sleeps.  The weight of the pillows calm her.)  Started crying.
• 3:58 back to sleep
• 5:15 woke up, played in crib, changed, fed
• 7:30 asleep in car
• 7:55 woke up
• 9:30 nursed to sleep, took a while to actually fall asleep

Wednesday, February 9

• 2:15 fussed a little, picked up and rocked for 5 mins
• 3:50 woke up to feed, right back to sleep
• 5:08 up again for feeding
• 6:55 up again to ruin my life (changed, fed)
• 8:45 woke up playing
• 9:15 fed, not very well
• 10:57 fed again a little bit
• 11:05 down, already asleep from nursing
• 12:57 woke up, pleasant
• 3:08 put down for nap, crying
• 3:19 out
• 3:55 woken up by the damn squeaky kitchen faucet knobs, started crying after 3-4 minutes
• 4:06 out again
• 5:18 woke up, pleasant, nursed
• From 7 to 8:30, she showed signs of being pretty tired but did not fall asleep in the carrier and, after crying for over 10 minutes, she was just not going down.  Oh well.
• 9:00 nursed, fell asleep
• 9:45 put her down in crib, woke up, nursed a little bit again, back to sleep

There.  More to come...

Sleep is for the weak: Back on

Oh, it's back on...like Donkey Kong!  Slightly different methods.  But there is a plan. :)

Sleep is for the weak: Abort Mission!

After 3 days of trying the cry-it-out method of sleep training, Bao and I have agreed to stop.  It's not what we want for us, and it's not what we want for Camille.  If there are other methods of training her to sleep better, then we'll explore all other options.  Right now, we're gonna go with the "wait until she's 18" approach to sleep training.  Surely she'll get it by then.

Sleep is for the weak: Cry it out

This blog entry is to remind me of what it was like before Camille slept soundly through the night.

Efforts so far
Bao and I have gone back and forth dozens of times on what the proper method of sleep training is.  So far, we've stuck to the tried-and-true method of picking her up and comforting her whenever she wakes and cries.  It's worked out great.  She's attached to us, she is stable in social environments, and we are confident there are no emotional scars for her or us.  Unfortunately, this comes at the cost of our own sleep, energy levels, and moods.

The new plan.. and results
So the new plan is to let her cry her way to sleep for naps and at night.  Our hearts break each time we hear her cry, but from a sleep perspective, it has worked very well.  Camille has only cried for over more than 15 minutes twice since we've started.  It's day 3, and she routinely puts herself to sleep within 15 minutes.  Sometimes she'll be asleep in as little as 3 minutes.  We don't know if this will cause any emotional scaring, but here goes nothing.

Before and after
Before cry it out - Camille is always happy when awake.  She's usually smiling at people, likes to talk and relax, and always loves being picked up by most anybody (if facing outward).

When she's sleepy however, she is difficult to put down.  She's even difficult to hold in a "laying down" position.  About the only position she likes when tired is upright and facing out from the person holding her.  She usually can't sleep in this position.  Naps and nights usually require 10-40 minutes of rocking/walking/bouncing/putting her down again and again until she finally goes down for sleep.  She will often wake up just after 5-10 minutes and require us to do the whole song and dance routine again to get her down.  Once down for good, she sleeps well most nights.

After cry it out - We've only been through 4 naps and 1 night time sleeping routine trying the cry-it-out method.  She's still the same personality during waking hours; but Bao and I both notice she has less "really big smile and laughs."  I think this is just our guilt skewing or perception of her, but it's something to keep an eye on.

As for sleeping, it's very easy to put her down - just put her down and let her fight it out until she passes out.  The tough part is living with yourself knowing that you aren't answering your child's cries for help and comfort.  The first time Bao did this (while I was at work) it took 50 minutes to get her down and she slept for 5 minutes before waking again, and crying for another 10 minutes.  After the 10 additional minutes of crying, she slept for 45 minutes.  60 minutes of crying for 50 minutes of sleep.  Not good returns.

Things got much better really fast.  By the 2nd day, it would take ~5 minutes to get her down for naps of 1-1.5 hours.  By day 2 night (the first time trying cry-it-out at night), it took her 16 minutes to put herself to sleep.  She slept soundly for 5 hours.  She fed and went back to sleep for 4.5 additional hours, with only a small (~5 minute) break to cry it out some more.  9.5 hours of sleep with less than 10 minutes of wake time.

By day 3's first nap, it took her 10 minutes to put herself to sleep, and she slept for 1:15 hours.  Her cries are also less violent and painful.

During waking moments, she's much more calm.  Is this a sign of maturing as she learns to soothe herself, or is this a symptom of emotional scaring?  Is she growing up, or turning away from her parents?  Crazy thoughts from a inquisitive, and slightly guilt-ridden father.

More to come
We'll try to keep the comments on this post updated with how she does as we continue with the new sleep training methods.  Keep us in your prayers.

Follow-up data

Day 3
Nap 1 - 25 minutes sleep while driving from Bellevue to Ikea.  Woke up at Ikea right away and couldn't go back to sleep.  Essentially skipped nap 1 for this day.
Nap 2 - Should be dead tired since she skipped nap 1, but looked awake and alert.  We decided to put her down anyway at 7:13pm.  She cried - loud and violently - until 7:39, then went to sleep.  Woke at 7:48.  Back down at 7:56.  Woke for good at 8:05.  34 minutes of crying for 18 minutes of sleep.

Pariah

It is 4:30am and Camille does not want to go back to sleep after her mid-night feeding.

She wants to play.

I told her, "It's the middle of the night and nobody wants to play with you."

She laughed.

I added, "Your neck smells like toe jam."

She stops laughing.

I am adding "insults" to my repertoire of sleep-training techniques.

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Camille's fifth month: A review

Fantastically scintillating monotony.  That is how I would describe my life at this point.  Fantastic because it still seems unreal that Camille is ours.  She is amazing!  Scintillating describes how exciting it is to watch her grow and to become even more attached to her.  And yet, life is quite monotonous.  Even though there is never a dull moment, it just seems like, "Gosh, it's time to feed again?"  "Are you serious?  I've been rocking you to sleep for the last 30 minutes and you're still awake?"  "Is this my life?"

Well, this month brings lots of developments for Camille:

• Continuing to teethe.
• Can copy us in sticking out her tongue.  Once she figured out that she has a tongue, she very much enjoys sticking it out.
• Chewing on things (mostly her hands).  A lot.
• Reaching for and grabbing onto toys.
• Gradually losing the asymmetrical tonic neck reflex - getting ready roll over!
• Rolling over - just the one time :-/
• When brought to a standing position, she can lean against me (without grabbing onto my hands) and remain standing for over 10 seconds.
• Vocalizations transition from being coos to sounds that have more consonants (okay, that's just my observation, I have no training in infant linguistics).
• Tracking objects that are further away and making better eye contact.
• LOL!  No, seriously.

"Miiiiiiine!"

The specs
As of December 16, 2010:

• Weight: 12 lb 4 oz - 25%ile 
• Height: 24.5 in - 75%ile 
• Head: 15.5 in - 10%ile 
• Teeth: 1, at the bottom, right of the middle

As of December 20th, 2010: 12 lb - lost 4 ounces due to hunger strikes.

As of January 5th, 2011: 12 lb 13 oz - *phew* gained some back!
 

Milestones & important events
December 15 - Started reaching out for and grabbing toys.  Sticks out tongue to mimic parents.

Intentional grabbing

December 18 - Started a 9-hour hunger strike, lost weight.  We have several theories about why this hunger strike may have taken place:

• Strange environment - she would refuse to feed when we're out and about
• More distracted by her surrounding
• Teething pains
• Refusal to take the bottle is transferred over to refusal of milk-intake in general

December 25 - Camille's first Christmas!

December 27 - She rolled over!  After many days of looking like she might roll over (from laying on her back), she finally did it while we were talking.  And that was the only time she has done it so far!

Celebrating Grandma Ng's 59th birthday!

December 28 - It was a year ago today that we found out we were going to have Camille.  What a year it has been!  Discovered that she has cradle cap - eww.  With one olive oil treatment the next day, it was completely gone.

January 1 - Moved crib from a sidecar position (next to our bed) to the other side of the room.  No more cosleeping at night :(

Camille's new sleeping space in our room

January 2 - Another hunger strike.

January 5 - I found some blood in Camille's stool.  First, I thought like a nurse..."Don't freak out...there's an explanation." And then I thought like a mom..."Oh Lord, what is this?!" And then I started thinking like a crazy woman..."Is it Zellweger Syndrome?!  I just looked it up online and she might have Zellweger?!  She's too young to die!" There's such a fine line between thinking like a mom and thinking like a crazy woman.  Anyhow, we went to the clinic later that day and they discovered the cause as being a very large blow-out poop early that morning caused some abrasions in her anus.  Yes, my daughter has very powerful bowels.

January 11 - Went to the Picasso exhibit!

Favorite part...
Chin's Christmas vacation.  I loved having Chin around for 7 straight days!!  And I think Camille did, too.

Least favorite...
Hunger strikes.  It's insane how an infant's refusal of the breast can affect a mom.  It is so draining...I don't even have the energy to write about it!

Shout outs
...To the Lorex LW2003 baby monitor!  It is freakin' amazing and we love it!

Spying on Camille

...To infant acetaminophen (Tylenol) for relieving teething pain.  Baby Orejel...not so much.

...To the Okkatots baby carrier.  Oh.  My.  Goodness!  The three of us love this carrier so much!!  Camille likes the front-facing option so she can "talk to the baby in the mirror."  Chin loves that there is a separate pouch for the baby.  I love just about everything...especially the fact that Camille naps very well in this carrier.

Just hanging out

...To Alice+Chung+Anna Jane for letting us borrow AJ's Bumbo chair!

...To Chin...still the best dad to Camille and the best partner I can ever ask for!

"Do you like my hair, Daddy?"

Discoveries & reflections
...Camille will poop while she is in the Bumbo chair about 80% of the time.  No joke!

...If Camille had a good day, I'd better brace myself for a gruesome day to follow. (The opposite isn't true, unfortunately).

...You know how we all have that one friend who's just really critical and judgmental?  I know you have at least one.  Me!  I find that I'm so critical and judgmental about this mothering process.  I am sorry, friends!

...Camille nurses much better when she is drowsy and is falling asleep.  (During the day, she will just wake up after nursing.  At night, she stays sleeping.)  If she is fully awake during feeding time, boy, it is always a struggle to keep her focused!

...Breastfeeding in public has become nearly impossible now with Camille being so distracted while being nursed.

...Do we really want to read to Camille at bedtime?  Do we really want to proliferate the connection between reading and sleepiness?

...Starting last month, actually, Camille and I have both been shedding a lot of hair.  I keep finding little Camille hairs everywhere...and her head still looks so full!

...Umm...sometimes, I feel guilty for convincing other people to have kids.

Notice she's trying to peel off the "5 months"
sticker.  Mad fine motor skillz!!