This blog entry is to remind me of what it was like before Camille slept soundly through the night.
Efforts so far
Bao and I have gone back and forth dozens of times on what the proper method of sleep training is. So far, we've stuck to the tried-and-true method of picking her up and comforting her whenever she wakes and cries. It's worked out great. She's attached to us, she is stable in social environments, and we are confident there are no emotional scars for her or us. Unfortunately, this comes at the cost of our own sleep, energy levels, and moods.
The new plan.. and results
So the new plan is to let her cry her way to sleep for naps and at night. Our hearts break each time we hear her cry, but from a sleep perspective, it has worked very well. Camille has only cried for over more than 15 minutes twice since we've started. It's day 3, and she routinely puts herself to sleep within 15 minutes. Sometimes she'll be asleep in as little as 3 minutes. We don't know if this will cause any emotional scaring, but here goes nothing.
Before and after
Before cry it out - Camille is always happy when awake. She's usually smiling at people, likes to talk and relax, and always loves being picked up by most anybody (if facing outward).
When she's sleepy however, she is difficult to put down. She's even difficult to hold in a "laying down" position. About the only position she likes when tired is upright and facing out from the person holding her. She usually can't sleep in this position. Naps and nights usually require 10-40 minutes of rocking/walking/bouncing/putting her down again and again until she finally goes down for sleep. She will often wake up just after 5-10 minutes and require us to do the whole song and dance routine again to get her down. Once down for good, she sleeps well most nights.
After cry it out - We've only been through 4 naps and 1 night time sleeping routine trying the cry-it-out method. She's still the same personality during waking hours; but Bao and I both notice she has less "really big smile and laughs." I think this is just our guilt skewing or perception of her, but it's something to keep an eye on.
As for sleeping, it's very easy to put her down - just put her down and let her fight it out until she passes out. The tough part is living with yourself knowing that you aren't answering your child's cries for help and comfort. The first time Bao did this (while I was at work) it took 50 minutes to get her down and she slept for 5 minutes before waking again, and crying for another 10 minutes. After the 10 additional minutes of crying, she slept for 45 minutes. 60 minutes of crying for 50 minutes of sleep. Not good returns.
Things got much better really fast. By the 2nd day, it would take ~5 minutes to get her down for naps of 1-1.5 hours. By day 2 night (the first time trying cry-it-out at night), it took her 16 minutes to put herself to sleep. She slept soundly for 5 hours. She fed and went back to sleep for 4.5 additional hours, with only a small (~5 minute) break to cry it out some more. 9.5 hours of sleep with less than 10 minutes of wake time.
By day 3's first nap, it took her 10 minutes to put herself to sleep, and she slept for 1:15 hours. Her cries are also less violent and painful.
During waking moments, she's much more calm. Is this a sign of maturing as she learns to soothe herself, or is this a symptom of emotional scaring? Is she growing up, or turning away from her parents? Crazy thoughts from a inquisitive, and slightly guilt-ridden father.
More to come
We'll try to keep the comments on this post updated with how she does as we continue with the new sleep training methods. Keep us in your prayers.
Follow-up data
Day 3
Nap 1 - 25 minutes sleep while driving from Bellevue to Ikea. Woke up at Ikea right away and couldn't go back to sleep. Essentially skipped nap 1 for this day.
Nap 2 - Should be dead tired since she skipped nap 1, but looked awake and alert. We decided to put her down anyway at 7:13pm. She cried - loud and violently - until 7:39, then went to sleep. Woke at 7:48. Back down at 7:56. Woke for good at 8:05. 34 minutes of crying for 18 minutes of sleep.
1 comment:
I will be praying for you 3. Sleep is so hard. One thing my sister did was to give her daughter her pacifier and her tiger animal/blanket and that signaled sleep time all the time. So she knew why mom left her alone. It was especially helpful when nap time couldn't be in her crib.
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